November 7, 2020 at 5:25 pm #368778miyoidParticipant
I guess you’re right. I have to look for ways to get to know my traumas and get over them eventually. For the earthquake part, yes people died because of the poor constructions. We’ve learned that two companies actually broke colons in the ground floor, and two buildings collapsed because of that. It’s going to be hard to get used to live without that thoughts again, I cannot even imagine how those will get used to their everyday life after waiting under the debris for hours. I hope we will never experience this kind of stuff again, since there is terrorism, and actually wars that have started, it’s getting scarry even more. We’ll be very careful about any natural disasters and choose our homes according to that but what about disasters that humans cause? To where will people escape then?November 7, 2020 at 8:48 pm #368780
I will read and reply to you in about 10 hours from now.
anitaNovember 8, 2020 at 4:04 pm #368800
I read the difficult question you asked at the end of your recent post yesterday, figured I will need more time to answer, therefore I wrote to you that I will be back the morning after, but.. I forgot, I apologize for not being back to you at the time I said I will be.
I need to do some research about a couple of things you mentioned in your recent post before I attempt to answer the difficult question you asked. I will therefore make a note to return to your thread this time on time, first thing Monday morning my time, which is in about 15 hours from now.
anitaNovember 9, 2020 at 9:04 am #368840
“there is terrorism, and actually wars that have started, it’s getting scary even more. We’ll be very careful about any natural disasters and choose our homes according to that, but what about disasters that humans cause? To where will people escape then?”
Wikipedia reads: “Terrorism is, in the broadest sense, the use of intentional violence for political or religious purposes… violence during peacetime or in the context of war against non-combatants (mostly civilians and neutral military personnel”.
I looked up Wikipedia regarding terrorism in your country. It reads that Islamic groups such as Hezbollah attacked civilians in your country beginning in the 1980s and 1990s, but more so, since the 2000s. “In the 1990s, Islamic terrorist organizations.. objective was to bring down the secular democratic regime.. and to establish an Islamic Sharia-based state (similar to Iran)”.
I looked at the list of 47 suicide attacks carried on by different militant groups in your country since June 1996. To add to that violence, there is the armed conflict going on between your country and various insurgent groups who demand separation and forming their own independent country. According to numbers released, from 1984 to August 2015, in your country alone, there have been 36,345 deaths in the conflict, including 6,741 civilians, and 7,230 security forces.
It so happens that I was born in, and grew up in a country not too far from yours, a country with a history of wars (3 major wars while I lived there) and suffering from countless acts of terrorism and suicide attacks performed by Islamic groups, including Hamas. I remember the sirens of war and the news about suicide attacks, showing the horrific images after those explosions, so many of them. I remember wishing I lived in a peaceful country, feeling cursed for having been born into a country stuck in violence.
I left my home country when I was 24 (but went back many times for visits, up to 3 months per visit). I left to America (this is the word referred to the U.S. in my home country). I left not because of the violence I just mentioned. I left to escape my mother. Imagine that: all those thousands of miles and oceans crossed was done not to escape war and terrorism, but to escape one individual, one person: my mother.
When I just wrote to you “home country”, it didn’t feel correct, to call it “home”- not because it was not possible for me to feel at home in the country I grew up in, but because “home” with my mother was as close to hell as could be for me, so it felt.
As I often write to members in these forums, we carry with us our childhood experience wherever we go. And I carried mine with me all the way to America. I proceeded to live a miserable and dysfunctional life in America- for years and decades without the sirens of war and acts of terrorism. All along, I kept re-living my experience with my mother. All along, what scared me most, by far, was not war and terrorism, but my mother.
And now, to your question: “what about disasters that humans cause? To where will people escape then?”- I think that all violence starts for people in those formative years of childhood, children being attacked by parents, most often. It is the aggression during childhood that is formed into the child and then it is carried by the grown up child/ adult, into political and criminal contexts. It is therefore most important for us humans to change how we interact with our children, to no longer express aggression against our children.
“where will people escape then?”- no where to escape. All we can do is make the world a better place in any way we can, individually and collectively- without the use of violence: to treat each other with respect, to calm anger instead of inflaming it anger, to use logic and science to correct passionately-held beliefs that are not true, hold ourselves and each other accountable for our actions, keep our eyes open and choose our actions thoughtfully and courageously.
You wrote: “I guess you’re right. I have to look for ways to get to know my traumas and get over them eventually”- I suggested long ago that you seek psychotherapy, but you said that it is not available to you, and I understand, especially in the current political, economic and public health crises. If you want to share here more about what you referred to as your traumas, it may help. I will read and reply to you gently, if you choose to share.