Dear Kshiti:

“I tried something like this in that situation only to fail in keeping it“- there is a saying, if it works, keep working it, so if the Serenity Prayer works for you, repeat it, keep doing what helped before (but don’t expect it to help every single time).

“I am trying my best to accept all things in my life through a more neutral perspective“- there is a term, Radical Acceptance, which means to completely, radically accept (what we cannot change).

“Thinking about a purpose is empowering, and I did this activity once after coming to my university. It helped“- keep going back to this exercise, edit it, develop it, make it more and more true to you.

“About intrusive and self consuming anxious thoughts, what should I do to deal with them in a better way?“- first, understand the nature of thoughts: these are temporary events in the brain, nothing dangerous. If you are walking in nature and come across a mountain lion, that’s dangerous. Thoughts are not.

If  you try to block thoughts, they will intrude on you, insisting to be there (aka intrusive thoughts). Don’t be scared of thoughts, don’t try to fight/ block them. Instead, when a distressing thought occurs, say: oh, this is just a thought, and gently direct your attention elsewhere.

You can apply the NPARR strategy that I use every day for various distresses: Notice (in this case, that a distressing thought occurred to you), Pause (the repetition of the thought, rumination), Address (the situation, saying to yourself something like: this is a distressing thought. It is not dangerous. I am not in danger because of this thought. Thoughts are temporary events in my brain, they are not permanent), Respond (say or do something about it.. maybe in this case, journal the thought in a Thought Journal.. not sure), and lastly, and very importantly, Redirect (your attention elsewhere: a walk outdoors, a hot bath, a cold shower, a task like doing dishes, listening to music, etc.)

anita

Dear Kshiti:

You are very welcome! I am glad the NPARR strategy worked for you.

“Regarding radical acceptance, I don’t know why but it makes me feel anxious to think about the idea of acceptance. Most of the times when I think about accepting things and letting them go, my anxiety grapples me back and it becomes more difficult. Any suggestions?“-

– when you think about accepting negative circumstances that you can’t change/ can’t control (current or future), it scares you because of the feeling of having no control.. right?

If this is what it is about, the only suggestion I have is to focus in your every day life on what you can control, and practice your control. The more you practice control over your circumstances/ life, the less afraid you will be of having no control over what you can’t control.  I remember a couple of years ago, I was folding laundry and felt anxious because my mother folded clothes perfectly, and I didn’t. It then occurred to me: wait a minute, I can fold my clothes any way I want to. I don’t have to fold clothes my mother’s way! And I have been okay with how I fold clothes ever since.

In your life, Kshiti, find opportunities- be as small as the one I just described- to choose your own ways of doing things and be okay with your chosen ways. This is a beginning of exercising control over your life and feeling okay about it.

anita

Dear Kshiti:

You are welcome, and no need to worry about when you reply: no such thing as a late reply here, as far as I am concerned!

“Sometimes, especially during that period, it all felt insignificant (compared to) the circumstances that were sort of out of my hand. What to do about this thought?“- the daily practice of emotion regulation skills (you can research this term, there are books and workbooks on the topic) will help lessen your daily anxiety, and make it possible for you to focus on the small but significant steps you need to take toward healing.

There is no such thing as one giant- step solution to “Intrusive and Anxious Thoughts” (the title of your thread). It takes many small steps day in and day out, steps taken patiently, over the long-run, one day at a time.

anita

Dear Kshiti:

You are very welcome! I don’t have a particular emotion regulation workbook in mind. I just googled and this book seems, by its title, promising. It’s called “The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook“.  It includes not only emotion regulations exercises but also mindfulness and interpersonal effectiveness exercises.

“I have tried to align myself with my true values and goals, and would like to have your advice over how to develop these patterns along with that of purpose“-  are you looking for advice on how to actualize (to put into practice) your true values and goals? If so, would you like to share about your true values and goals?

anita