Yeah that would be it, not into his religious talk though. BTW I forgot to tell you after I told her she can call me anytime she wants when she’s having a bad day, good day, some great news she wants to share, just to talk, etc, and said nobody does this for her and she just calls her mom then she called me such a great guy, when we were going to hang up we both didn’t right away, there was a pause. I didn’t wanna hang up, guessing she didn’t either, we had a moment I guess you could say. I’ll phone her around Xmas, then i’ll post here again. Maybe I will call her on Xmas for 5 minutes, then again in a few days and we can share what we did or something. Still think about what she told me to call her anytime I am thinking of her, sounds nice and not something friends say that often. I’ll just call her around Xmas then call her when I think about her, we are just close intimate friends not lovers.

Anyway I am back to depressed again, I feel like such a loser among other things. Seeya after Xmas, hope you and your family have a great one this year.

Actually I wanna ask 1 final thing. From what I have said over the past few years, what does it seem like is happening between the 2 of us? does it seem like she may see me as MORE then just a friend but waiting for me to say something? maybe in the past she saw me as something more? I mean that last phone call at the end when I let her know she can call me whenever she wants  and her voice changed to much lower and she said any time I am thinking about her I should call her and we didn’t wanna get off the phone right away. Maybe it’s all in my head and she’s just this friendly, but sometimes I think there may be more and it drives me nuts thinking about it. Maybe we are both afraid of letting eachother in more and that’s why we don’t hang out as often as we both would like? Someone once told me that we don’t have a friendship, it’s just 2 people who text/call eachother who are afraid of interacting on a more personal level due to not wanting to be rejected or something. I really don’t wanna say something then she takes off without saying anything to me anymore.

Btw I am going for my massage next Monday, she said “Would be lovely to have you in”, then I will let her know I will call after Xmas, although if she texts me on Xmas she loves the gift I’ll ask if she wants to have a quick 5 min talk if she’s not busy, then call her a few days after.

Funny…as I write this I am editing it. She accidentally called me, we talked for 21 minutes. Told her it’s always good talking to you and hope your finger accidentally hits my number again so told her I’ll call her after xmas and we can tell each other what Santa got us. Also she does not go to laundry mat for her laundry, she does it at home.

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it. 🙂 I don’t actually think she likes me in that way, but sometimes we have those moments where I think “hmmm?”, but I don’t think I should pursue it anymore. I was really down at work and was thinking of calling her later and that today is the day I am going to tell her I like her and that I know she does not see me that way so it’s best if we stop talking for good or maybe i’ll reconnect many years later if you suddenly crossed my mind.

I’ve got no idea how she would handle that, but I told a guy at my work this who knows her well and he said for me not to do this because she has a lot going on with her ex, her kids, job, mother, her fitness class. Be her friend, nobody else phones her up and asks what’s happening, just you and that means a lot to a woman and you’re her only link to her old job here and last thing she needs to think about is another thing on her plate right now, wait until she’s happy and has things more in control before you ask her this. Work on getting into shape and getting right in the head and maybe when she’s ready she will want to try you out, but don’t expect anything. She’s going to love your mug you’re getting her, just keep phoning her and don’t worry if she does not phone you, she’s really busy but she will appreciate you calling her because nobody else does and start making plans with her more. He also told me “I know you don’t get out much but try and find interesting things to talk about so the phone conversations last longer and more interesting”.

Well not word for word but most of that. Anyway see you after Xmas.