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Let her go?

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This topic contains 526 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 hour, 35 minutes ago.

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  • #270801

    pete
    Participant

    Hey, merry christmas. Came to check on thread and saw it was bumped. Quite a lot has happened including a hospital visit for me, almost 2.

    So we talked on the phone a few days after I left this thread, wanted to ask her some questions so asked if we could talk after her  dance she was instructing, she called me while she was having a bath and I asked her if I could ask some personal questions to get to know her better, she told me to not be shy and ask away with a smile in the text. So she called me in her bath like I said, asked her some personal questions to know her better (where she’s going, biggest fear, biggest inspiration, etc), we talked for 40 minutes, she said would have been longer but she had to get out of the tub. Then I went for my first time getting a massage (back) at her job, I was nervous because my anxiety and  just seeing her for the first time since our October  hangout made me even more nervous (including getting numb in the legs). Walked her to her car, she said it’s too bad her class is for women only (yeah too bad) and felt like I had more energy in my body and more flow in my arms for a few days.  Got it for free but I wanted to give her a tip so she said sure, tipped her half of what it was gonna cost me and said that my next few will be free as well to pay me back, I might just pay her in tips because I really don’t like getting things for free and I can’t support her or her job this way. When she told me the questions for getting to know her better I have for some reason not been into her as bad as I have prior to this post, I guess she told me something I don’t like or wanted to hear? think it has to do with the ex that still lives with her? leaving him was her biggest fear, but she’s not left him.

     

    Then I had a hospital visit like a week later, was in some of the worst pain OF MY LIFE! dad brought me to hospital, I was in waiting room  for 6 hours and nearly 2 hrs waiting for the nurse. People must have thought I was crazy, I was freaking out in my seat from the pain…apparently it was from constipation, had my first enema. Then once I did my business I felt like I was on cloud 9, the pain was gone and all that was left  was feeling like a million bucks! Walked home.

     

    Last week did my candy cane tradition at my work before I left and some to some of the customers and was helping an elderly person grab some money from the ground and gave her a candy cane wishing her merry christmas.

     

    Last week went to her work and gave her the present (both mugs) and a card, as well as some candy canes and she liked I got her something but told me I don’t have to but said I wanted to and something she said to me I just HAD to get this for her, she smiled. We talked for about 25 minutes, she’s getting me something apparently, told her she does not have to I don’t give people gifts so they can give me gifts. Told her what the massage did for me for a few days, made her feel really happy hearing that. Gonna meet up for coffee next month sometime (i’ll try for middle of month), walked her to her car and we hugged (we hugged 3 times total), she also grabbed my hands and was massaging them as we talked. After I said I was gonna go back to hospital because I think I have a hernia problem? went to a clinic instead and told me it was just constipation, hernia is fine.

     

    So been dealing with constipation for a little while, gonna try booking an appointment with a colon hydrotherapy person soon and clean out my colon and my constipation.

     

    Took some restoralax powder for the 3rd day in a row and seemed to either have some type of reaction to it or a panic attack, still can’t seem to yawn properly and it’s been 90 minutes. :/

     

    Going to call her in a few days, prob wont phone her for a few mins if she texts me about the present. We can talk on the 27th/28th. Gonna try asking more questions about her starting in the new year to get to know her better. Why not? Then hang out again when it’s warmer and will hope that we start hanging out more often (like monthly hikes?) like we both really wanted to back in October.

     

    So this is what has been happening for me since we last talked. How have you been? you and the family all good? hope so. Merry christmas.

    #270813

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    It is early morning here (I believe the two of us are in the same  time zone, you being in BC), and reading your post was my first Christmas Day pleasure! I enjoyed reading about your Candy Cane Tradition, just thought of the acronym for it, CCT, and about the gifts you gave her, the two  mugs, all Christmassy. I didn’t enjoy reading about your pain and  long wait at the hospital but was  glad it  is only constipation, and although uncomfortable and even very painful at times, it  is treatable, not necessarily easily  treatable. Your description of your recovery was funny, how you felt so much better,  on cloud 9.

    I noticed of course the interesting coincidence of you asking her personal questions while she was taking a bath…  Keep learning  about her, good  move on your part!

    I hope your interactions with her in the near future are good. I am curious to  know what gift  she  will get you.

    I am fine, thank you for asking, don’t do much for Christmas, not more than any  other day, but as  I said, reading your post  is my first Christmassy thing of the day!

    anita

    #270815

    anita
    Participant

    * didn’t reflect under  Topics

    #270831

    pete
    Participant

    Good morning! Yes, we are same time zone. CCT…nice acronym! If she messages me I will let you know what she says in here.

     

    Yeah she was in a bath, surprised me because that means she was talking to me…ahem…naked 😉  I don’t do much for christmas either, first time in as long as I can remember I wont be doing christmas with the family, not heard from them at all, not even a  phone call. Just me and pops and our cat.

     

    I’ll keep learning from her over time. She wants to start traveling.

    #270833

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Getting to know a person more, learning  more is like getting to know their naked, bare souls… so to speak. It feels good to be known that way, this is why I hope it will bring you and her closer, getting to know more about each other, the deep things, feelings, motivations.

    Will be looking forward to your next update/ post. Here I will be having a lamb curry early dinner for Christmas, not very traditional!

    anita

    #270835

    pete
    Participant

    She called me for a few minutes and said she loved it, how thoughtful I am and awesome (told her you too) and wanted to call me instead of text me. She will use 1 for home and have 1 at her work for when she has water. Chilling at home with 1 of her daughters and her ex, then noon will pick up her other daughter and bring her home, then tonight her moms and will tell her family all about the mug. Told her I will call her in a few days, she said sure. Told her I accidently ordered 2 mugs and did not know what to do with the other so gave her both and that it’s just me, dad, and the cat and that I will probably just play video games, she said that’s ok. I did text her earlier though and wished her a merry christmas and hope great spirit treats her and her family good and that I wished them all well.

    #270839

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    This is very nice, a very pleasant, Christmassy exchange with her. You mentioned your cat, our neighbor’s dog, a beagle, just showed up as he does every day, but you can tell it’s Christmas because he wears a festive bandana during the festive season. His name is Hunter. And he doesn’t know or cares who owns him, born to be free, he is owned by no one.

    Have a good Christmas day!

    anita

     

     

     

     

    #270853

    pete
    Participant

    Ha, nice! I’ll post again in the new year.

     

    Have a good christmas and a happy new year and may 2019 be a great year for you.

    #270863

    anita
    Participant

    Merry Christmas, blkwkdwn1, and Happy  New  Year!

    Looking forward to read from you in 2019, may it be a good year for you!

    anita

    #271185

    pete
    Participant

    Thanks. 🙂

     

    Just wanted to say we talked for 35 minutes. Loved the mug and said I was  so thoughtful and I am such a nice guy, talked about where she would go if she traveled (all over the world pretty much), told me her day started off bad so asked what happened but the phone kept cutting in and out, she was tired so it was not a long call as I told her to go for her nap and we would talk in the new year sometime (probably end of Jan, wanna hang out middle of Jan), what she got for xmas, what  I got (nothing yet, we will do shopping later in Jan), she feels horrible for not getting me anything but told her I don’t need anything, her friendship is more then enough and that I don’t give presents to recieve them, I just like brightening her day and I also just give and don’t care about recieving. Also that I am just spreading the love and that the love needs to be spread around. Also forget what was said but remember her saying something about being together and getting through stuff together,  and always being there for eachother.

     

    She REALLY loved the mug, could tell in her voice when we talked about it a few times. Told her I forgot to put some scratch and win cards in them but she said the mug was good enough, told her how it was made and by the same person who made her other mug. She’s going for a walk tomorrow, I will be helping someone move but she wants to hike with me when it’s warmer she said when I asked. Could not keep her eyes open any more so I told her to go take that nap. I was feeling like crap but I had a lot of energy in me anyway and I was really talkative compared to usual, so that was good. I guess i’ll update by the end of Jan after our next phone call and coffee hopefully, then i’ll probably disapear again until the end  of the summer and update more. I also asked her if she wants to start a new challenge, as she’s ate a lot over the holidays and has been slipping on eating healthy (as have I), so starting tomorrow I am back to my keto diet and the new year she’s going to start getting back into healthy eating again. Also wants me to come in again to get a massage and asked if I would ever do it again, I def would and told her so. Maybe in a week? she’s not getting many people as it’s the holidays and stuff, so i’ll have to help out with those tips.

    #271243

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    It is true, “her friendship is more than enough” for you, this is the reason why you didn’t “let her go”, title  of your thread. And this friendship, for you, is indeed “about being together and getting through stuff together, and always  being there for each other”-

    You stated it  very well, just as it  is  for you.

    I hope 2019 is a good year for you. Looking forward to your next post/ update!

    anita

    #272035

    pete
    Participant

    Just wanted to say hope you had an amazing new years! I ended up making an account on tinder and texting girls, now I am texting a girl sorta near sorta far from me that wants to meet up, we text all night new years eve and the woman this thread is about is super happy I made a connection with another girl. Wont be calling her this month, sad she told me she hung out with a few friends none of which were me on new years eve. I booked an appointment with her for next week and the week after I will ask her for the coffee, then phone her next month. No point calling if I am going to see her 2 times this month so maybe I will call 2 times next month to make up for it. Anyway still plan on taking off but until the start of Feb now. I BADLY miss how close we used to be or at least how I felt, I will never tell her as I figure she has moved on and I feel pretty insignificant to her, like I don’t matter that much to her (not a priority). But when it’s warmer i’ll try my best to try hanging out more, maybe even walks around downtown. I really hate being an introvert and not out doing things and inviting people out, I just can’t do it. Also wish she would invite me out, but she never said she would in Oct, just that she wants me to come with her but I deleted my FB because it makes me feel worthless. Anyway message again in Feb.

    #272043

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    It is the new year now, holidays are over. I like  that. I wish you did spend  new year  eve with her, not drunk though (and puking), I wish you had the  quality time you had with her before, that  summer.

    The woman you texted  with all night, I wonder  how  that turns out, if you do meet  her and  what  happens then, or not.

    Back to the woman who you do not “let  her go” (title of your thread, as you know), two massage  appointments  and a coffee meetup this month and  a couple  of calls next month, the plan  is, as I understand. I am looking forward to an update regarding these and anything else  you would like to post. I do like to read  your posts and follow your life into this new year.

    anita

    #274495

    pete
    Participant

    I know it’s not Feb but I need an opinion on something if you’re ok with that.

     

    I think I realized why it’s so hard to hangout with her. She’s really into hanging out with friends that know her family, which I don’t and they are all female. Think this will be a constant thing of wishing we could hangout more, she will always say she wants to aswell but we never do. Seems kinda pointless wasting time talking on the  phone and the odd text. If all we are gonna do is hangout a few times a year what’s the point in knowing eachother? my neighbours hangout with their friends often. She’s done even more events and I still never get an invite even though she told me on the phone last month she will invite me to her next one.

     

    You have not missed much. Told her I was having a meh day last week so she said we should talk soon, so called her for 35 minutes last week, had a massage the next day and walked her to her car far away then walked home declining her offering me a ride home and I paid for massage this time as she’s getting no money right now. Saw her the next day after that at my work. Wont be having a coffee with her this week, told me we should book in advanced for next week but I doubt I will.

     

    Should I call her up and let her know things aren’t working out the way I planned and I am just going to take off? The phone calls are not as nice as they used to be, but I also don’t feel the same way for her I used to. I just want to hang out more often and get frusterated with our lack of it, even after our conversation in October. Like she tells me what I wanna hear rather then what will happen. Mind games. Once a month is fine with me, not 1-2 times a year.

     

    As for the tinder stuff? Don’t talk to the girl anymore, did not connect or anything and she’s too far away. But I talk to a bunch of others, which only lasts for a day or 2.

    #274529

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    It’s been a question that is being going on for a long while, to let-her-go or not. I read a bit of your recent post, not all because I am about to get away from the computer for about sixteen hours and am not focused enough at this point.

    I will read attentively what you wrote when I am back to the computer tomorrow morning. Add to it if you want before I am back.

    anita

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