Home→Forums→Tough Times→Let her go?
- This topic has 1,011 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 2 months, 2 weeks ago by
anita.
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May 24, 2019 at 9:57 am #295523
AnonymousInactiveI never mentioned earlier but we went on another hike to those mountains again back in March after I left the thread, started off going to subway because she was hungry and I told her let’s eat before we go to help with your stomach and it did. Same place we climbed and it was a good hour and a half. She told me a few days ago before we met up at subway she was supposed to hang with a friend and she forgot and the friend got mad at her and made her feel bad and it clearly effected her telling me this, she doesn’t want anyone not liking her (her words).
I am thinking of texting her to talk tonight if she is free and just letting her know I thought I was over her because I stopped thinking about her for months finally and then it hit me again when I found out about her seeing a guy and don’t wanna go through this again and that we should reconnect sometime later in life if she wants, or never again. Rather then just flat out ignoring her like a child.
May 24, 2019 at 10:20 am #295537AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I think it is better that you talk to her, tell her how you feel (your second paragraph, above) than “flat out ignoring her”, absolutely. Yes, do tell her. I remember you said similar things to her in the past, to end contact until much later. As a matter of fact, this is what you do in this thread, going away, then coming back after a long time, sometimes staying for a few posts then.. disappearing.
I guess you do that to protect yourself, emotionally.. regardless, definitely do call her, talk to her. I wish you even told her more than you intend, if it is doable for you, to tell her more, a bit more about how you feel, what you want, or what you wish for. I am not sure, what do you think?
anita
May 24, 2019 at 2:18 pm #295615AnonymousInactiveYeah I tend to dissapear at times.
Well I told her (she’s flattered) but also said I wasn’t going to pursue her anyway because I am fine being single, she said she had a feeling I did but wasn’t sure and since that guy she has she’s had several guys come out and randomly say they have liked her, one even told her they aren’t friends anymore until he can figure out his feelings and then come back as a true friend but that didn’t sit well with her, told her I was thinking that but she didn’t say anything about it, instead she wants to hang out this weekend for a coffee or something like that and says of all her friends I am one of the few she hangs around with the most. Said she needs to not be so friendly with everyone because they keep thinking she likes them, some of the guys that like her she told her story to and they bolted, unlike me where I have stayed through everything. Also told me that we have never talked about this before, but I said we have in passing. Also that maybe I stopped having feelings because I stopped calling her? I said maybe.
We even talked about more of her family drama and how she’s cutting herself off her ex boyfriends sister because how violent she gets.
So I tell her my feelings, try and leave but somehow we may have a coffee on the weekend. :/
May 24, 2019 at 2:20 pm #295617AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I read just a bit of your recent post, will read thoroughly tomorrow morning and reply to you, that would be in about 16 hours from now.
anita
May 25, 2019 at 7:49 am #295649AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
This is exciting, having coffee with her this weekend, that is today or tomorrow.
She told you that “some of the guys that like her she told her story to and they bolted, unlike me where I have stayed through everything”-
– like I wrote to you recently, this is a love story- she entered your heart and is there to stay, through everything. Sometimes you feel that something for her, sometimes you don’t, as it happens to everyone, no one feels love all the time.
I hope the coffee meeting does take place and I hope to read about it.
anita
May 25, 2019 at 10:27 pm #295715AnonymousInactiveI doubt it happens, she said if she has the car so maybe. Sent her a text a few hrs after we talked asking if she did want to resume calling each other again but once a month or longer, never got a response back so I normally take those as “no” and don’t push it any more so I am going to sort out my feelings over the next several months and then try again if I still want to but it seems to be a short term thing. It was only a few months back she told me to call her any time I think about her, but she’s got a man now so that may have changed.
May 26, 2019 at 6:14 am #295731AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
You wrote two days ago “(she) says of all her friends I am one of the few she hangs around the most”- how many times or hours did she hang around with you this year, 2019?
And 2018, if you can look back and remember?
anita
May 26, 2019 at 9:37 am #295775AnonymousInactiveLast year once, this year 3 times. For phone calls? last year 4 times this year around 6?
October for 2018
The 2 hikes in 2019 and that coffee. Would have been another hike but I felt like shit.
She always says she’s too busy, but i’ve never once bought that excuse from her. It’s just 1 hour.
May 26, 2019 at 9:47 am #295781AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdown1:
If this is most she spends with any friend then she spends very little time with friends, on the phone/ online and in person. She is very busy with her work, daughter, ex, still.. new boyfriend while hardly ever hanging out with anyone else?
anita
May 26, 2019 at 9:54 am #295783AnonymousInactiveHer mom as well. She goes to the pool often with one of her best friends or alone and events with other friends, or weekly things with her other friends too.
Anyway, I am going to take off for a while.
May 26, 2019 at 10:03 am #295787AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Okay, take off for as long as you need to and come back here whenever you want to be back.
anita
May 31, 2019 at 1:15 pm #296669AnonymousInactiveWell it’s official, got told at my work she changed her facebook status to “in a relationship”. I know we would never have worked out, we never clicked at all and I just liked hanging around her but it’s depressing after all this time things are going to change now. I’ve never met her friends or family before, not that it matters but some new guy she just met knows her whole life and they spend all this time together. This is depressing me more then I care to admit, probably because now I know things are obviously going to change, like those 1 hike per month I tried for will have to be a few times a year. I’ll try asking if she wants to change it to hangout every 2 months and talk 1 time a month but I don’t think she will have the time anymore. When she drives me to where we are going to hike I’ll probably ask her questions like “So how did you 2 lovebirds meet?” and stuff like that. It’s a good 30 minute drive, 1 hr up, 30 min drive back.
Whatever, all that matters is that she’s happy. She messaged me yesterday literally when I was thinking about her and told her it was funny she did because I was thinking about her, going to call me soon to talk and also plan a hike.
May 31, 2019 at 1:44 pm #296673AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I don’t know if she still has her ex close by, was he living with her as a roommate and friend long after they were no longer a romantic partner?
I don’t think she will be less available now to see you or talk with you than she was before, she is not that kind of a woman. She is the loyal kind. I think this is why she entered your heart to begin with. You knew she was different from the beginning.
I don’t think things will change between you and her, not on her end.
I think you are alarmed by the new development, but again, in her case, she will not disappear from your life or be in it any less than before.
anita
May 31, 2019 at 2:24 pm #296677AnonymousInactiveYeah he still lives with her for now and she said they are done for good now but doesn’t want him on the streets, so she is trying to help him still.
I hope things don’t change between us, I still got lots of personal questions to ask her to get to know her better. Hope she has not been going to that crazy womans place still she’s trying to avoid, I’ll have to ask her and if she is tell her to message me and i’ll go with her or something. She gets really violent.
May 31, 2019 at 2:44 pm #296683AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
What crazy woman, I don’t remember a crazy woman…?
In any case, the ex is still there because she doesn’t want in on the streets. She is a good woman, loyal, like I said. I don’t think there is any reason to think things will change between the two of you. I think that things can get better, like you wrote, you still want to get to know her better.
* I will be away from the computer for a few hours.
anita
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