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Let her go?

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This topic contains 526 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 hour, 33 minutes ago.

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  • #276981

    pete
    Participant

    Alright in case I forget some details I will just update here now with you.

     

    We met up a few days ago and had a hike, caught her putting makeup on when I text her I was near, told her I had a stomach ache, she said you’re probably just nervous because you’re seeing me and smiled and I said that’s most likely it, we literally rock climbed as the trail we took you had to grab onto rocks to get up. She wanted to take the main trail but I told her do you wanna hike or do you want an adventure? so we took  the off trail trail that lead us to actually climbing the rocks. Not a whole lot, but there were times it was probably dangerous and really steep. I just wanted to keep taking the harder paths to make it more challenging. She was not sure if I cared about her story with the medium she visit, but I told her I wanted to hear her story. Apparently she was a queen in one of her previous lives and was accidently killed from something falling on her from a guy. So I teased her a little calling her my queen, bowed to her sillily once and said I am around royalty now. We played challenged eachother to race to the top of the mountain a little, she won 🙁 but the guy at the top said he was here first haha.

     

    Anyway we looked around for a while, took pictures of each other and the scenery and sat next to each other at a rock, talked about a bunch of stuff including a new type of massage she is learning she would like to try on me, told her I would be her massage test dummy. Also had our hands on eachother feeling for pressure points and stuff. More about the guy she will give free massages to and he will give me a free life coach lesson as part of the debt she owes. Told me if I am nervous we can hang out for a coffee and talk about it before I go in, so Tuesday at 4PM we are  meeting up again as I text her I’ll book an appointment around her free schedule, she gave a smiley text from that. 5PM I will have that appointment.  She also drove me to a different mountain after the hike and  we looked around, said she wishes she lived near the mountain we hiked up (me too, we could hang out more that way). Hopes her ex boyfriend gets approved for I think it was welfare? so he can go out and rent a place and she can live on her own. Her other daughter is looking to move out with her sister, so her 2 daughters would be living together. We spent 2 hours together, it was nice. Now going to spend more time with her Tuesday. As I was leaving her car I told her I would phone her in a few weeks but she told me she wants to know what happened, so I’ll call her  a few days after and tell her what happened at the appointment.

     

    As for the tinder girl…that one is gone, we both stopped texting eachother. Got 2 new ones now I talk 2 and 1  is 10 years older then me and uh….things got a little hot between the 2 of us. She’s a teacher so I text her with a wink face I’d love to have a lesson or 2 from her and she has been saying she wants me badly when she comes back from her trip to Florida. So she probably just looking for a younger guy to have sex with a few times, which is cool by me I am my own man and single so I can do whatever I want really.

    #277011

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    What a lovely, delightful update! I am glad you told me about it sooner than later. I was a bit nervous reading about the steep climb up, but smiled at your joking around regarding her being your queen.

    I liked the most, right when I read it, that when you told her that you had a stomach ache, that she responded with:  “you’re probably just nervous you’re seeing me and smiled”, and then, you “said that’s most likely it”- so she knows you. I like it, and she feels comfortable telling you what she knows. And then, you felt comfortable telling her that it is so. This means there is a wonderful sense of comfort between the two of you, in addition of course, to the nervousness causing your stomach ache.

    That she put her makeup on before the hike, that means to me that she cares about looking good in your eyes. But again, the level of comfort I mentioned above is what impresses me most and I am delighted to read it in your post. Her sharing with you the latest developments in her life suggests to me that she feels comfortable with you and that she trusts you.

    I hope Tuesday will be as good. You may be nervous then too, but it is safe for you to tell her that you are nervous. She made it safe by responding to you with that smile, letting you know that way that you are  okay in her book!

    Regarding the older woman, I don’t know about that, be safe, I would suggest.

    anita

    #277107

    pete
    Participant

    Normally when a woman freshens up before meeting a guy it means she likes him lol, she wants to look her best for him. Buuuut I don’t think this is one of those times, she was just freshining up. Who knows, I aint a mind reader. I am also back into not really feeling for her like I used to these days, they come and go. But I just enjoy our time together. Also she still plans to move away one day to her dads cabin in the mountains with AMAZING scenery, seen pictures of the area. Lots of open area with amazing hills and mountain views. Told her I would have to get my license so I can visit her, but wont be any time soon but I should still get my license regardless. Want a truck, motorbike, maybe a dirt bike and maybe another mountain bike.

     

    I hope Tuesday will go good too. I am not really nervous, I just wanted an excuse to hanging around her again.

     

    As for the tinder woman…I am only looking for girls to text or hang out with as I wrote in my bio. Not looking for a relationship. Told a girl at my work about this woman and she said “damn, you are smooth”.

     

    I’ll update at the end of next week.

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by  pete.
    #277155

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I don’t think a woman puts make up unless she expects to be seen by someone.

    It occurred to me just now that you took charge during the hike. She wanted to take the main trail and you wanted to take the off trail, climbing rocks. And the two  of you took the more difficult, dangerous (what you call adventurous) trail. You took charge. I like it!

    Looking forward to your next update. Remember if you get nervous you can post here and I will reply, or better, way better, she is okay with you being nervous, she likes you just as you are, so you can tell her and she will respond kindly like she did before.

    anita

    #278161

    pete
    Participant

    So we met up for that coffee. Sat down for 30 minutes talking about her, then walked around outside for 30 minutes and when we were gonna cross the street I pushed the button to cross the road, then she did, then I did, then she did, then I did, then she did and we did it several more times and a guy behind us was laughing saying “the things we do that entertain us”, then I let her walk first and pushed the button 1 last time >:D

     

    She walked me to the guys place for my session, all 3 of us had a cup of tea and I kept getting a vibe he was into her. Gave her a quick hug as she left, they hugged for like 30 seconds. Then she left and I did a lot of visualizations but that is not really for me, seemed kinda weird the things he was telling me. :/ So I wont be going back lol.

     

    Just got off the phone with her (34 minutes). She was saying she really wanted to connect with me today and also wanted to know what happened and how it was, so I told her. Wants to practice the chair massage she’s learning on me still, wants to hike again before this month ends and maybe we will bring other people, also this big mountain that’s harsh to climb but I said the better time would be spring or even summer to get on it as it will be all mushy, slippery and muddy, etc as it’s rainy and winter still, and also about a bunch of other things. She has to do laundry, then have a long soothing bath, and her daughter that moved out is visiting her so that’s why she had to go. Told her I will call her in a few weeks.

    #278177

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Another delightful update: 30 minutes coffee and talking, 30 minutes walking around, a while of you and her pushing the button to cross the road, she started to cross the street first, you pushed the button one last time (funny you!), then walked to the guy’s place for your session, the three of you had tea, they hugged for 30 seconds.

    Most recently had a 34 minute phone conversations, you told her you want her to practice the chair massage on you, to  hike again before the end of Feb., maybe with other people, and regarding the big mountain, better hike it spring or summer. You told her that you will call her in a few weeks.

    I wonder why a few weeks and not a week, like wait a week between calls?

    anita

     

     

     

     

    #278237

    pete
    Participant

    Don’t really want to call once a week, still have trouble talking to her unlike other females, some of which we could talk for hours I am sure as I am a chatter box quite often but not around her even after all these years for whatever reason but with her I prefer just being around her, in her presence, flirting with her and just listening to her talk about her problems and what’s happening in her life. Anyway, not sure when I’ll be back again…perhaps after summer sometime? unless I have to ask something and need your opinion. Something I also do find annoying is when I do start talking she would sometimes start talking over top of me and not stop. Anyway…until next time. Hope your days are amazing.

    #278251

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I understand about you not wanting to call her once a week and I very much know that you like very much “just being around her, in her presence”. I am surprised she talks over  you, cutting you off then, I don’t think you mentioned that before. I wonder if it happens because she is anxious..?

    Like I wrote to you many times before, post any time you want to and I will be glad to reply to you. Plus I do like  to give you (and others) my opinions, so I will continue to be here for you!

    anita

     

    #293609

    pete
    Participant

    Hello, hope you’re doing well. Just wanted to say I am over her now finally, we don’t talk on the phone anymore (3 months) and have only had a few hikes since including one tomorrow. Since I last replied to this thread within 3-4 days I all of a sudden completly changed and rarely think about her and do my own thing, no idea how it happened so fast but it did and I am glad it happened, I felt like I was being mentally tortured and now I finally feel free. I fell off a cliff from my weightloss but I am finally going back to it after gaining 20 pounds back from my 65 I had previously lost and I have roller blades now.

     

    No idea if I will update this thread anymore, felt like updating since I feel completly different now.

    #293625

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    You posted Feb 2,  3 months and 11 days ago. 3-4 days after that you “all of a sudden changed and rarely think about her”, about a week after was the last time you talked with her on the phone, that was 3 months ago.

    My goodness, what a development! “I was being mentally tortured and now I finally feel free”, and lighter, from weight loss. Well, these are good news, on both accounts and getting in shape, going on hikes, one tomorrow.

    You are welcome to update this thread (Sept 18, 2016- May 13, 2019, so far, 2 years, seven months and 25 days if I counted correctly!),  or start a new one, a new thread for the free and lighter you!

    If you want, of course. Always good to read from you!

    anita

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 3 days ago by  anita.
    #294293

    pete
    Participant

    Thanks, always good to hear from you too. Apparently she’s dating a guy now, some guys at my work told me she came in a week  ago and told them and they asked how I feel about that as they know how I used to really like her. Good for her, doesn’t bother me tbh although I did think of her blowing me off a while back everytime I asked to come over to see her new place and here is a new guy in her life that will come over lol, I dunno how I am supposed to think of that and knowing for sure I will never see my money back from her, so I was probably just taken advantage of. I’ve moved on but just wanted to update you I lost interest in her and it was pretty fast.

    Oh and we never went hiking, I felt like shit and had a splitting headache, plus it was raining so I asked to reschedule. I know I say it from time to time but this will be my last post in here, so if you never hear from me anymore it’s been real, hope nothing but the best for you and best wishes for you.

    #294297

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkshwkdwn1:

    I read just a bit from your recent post and will read more and reply when I am back to the computer tomorrow morning.

    anita

    #294329

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    You are welcome and thank you for your good wishes for me!

    You found out a week ago that she is dating someone. The way you present it now, she will not pay you back the rest of the money she owes you, and that all along she took advantage of you. Before you presented it differently. One of the things that confused me before was that you told her from time to time to not pay you back the loan, you told her to give the money to someone who needs it more than you.

    The hike you referred to was the May 14 hike you planned. It rained that day, yes, I think it rained here too, just south of you.

    This piece of news about her dating someone is new, about a week old. If you want to post anytime about thoughts and feelings that come up, please do. I will attentively read and reply to you anytime you post.

    anita

    #295421

    pete
    Participant

    I guess I lied…again! about posting in here and the feelings. I thought I was over her, I literally did not think about her for months, then when I get told about her meeting a man they started coming back, not as strong as before but they are still there. She messaged me about rescheduling saying next week she’s busy, then I said maybe near summer time I will message her for a retry, she said “Sure 🙂 “, then later that day I messaged her again “Whatever happens in your life I wish you well, I will see you around my work”, then like 3 minutes later she calls me from long distance saying because that text and the previous text asking if we are cool? worried I was ending the friendship, telling me I am still number 1 on her list for paying me back. That she knows lots of nice guys and there are a lot of nice guys and that I am one of the few of those  really nice guys, whatever the hell that means except it’s bad when a woman calls a guy nice because it means they aren’t interested in you. Also that she is really looking forward to hiking with me and she hopes it’s in and wants it to happen in 2 weeks when she’s not busy and not 4 weeks from now like I said.

     

    Then tells me she met this guy and once their eyes connected it was like someone familiar to her and like love at first sight and they wanna both grow old together, they went on a date right away and have been a couple ever since. Pretty sure they have done all the things I wanted to do with her since that October meeting like I wanted her to call me, or me to come check her place out and pretty sure he has while she denied me saying it’s too messy. So a new guy she just met somehow undoes the years of this thread somehow, which is why I text her that message and wont message her to that hike next month, and if she messages me I’ll delay answering for a few days and just tell her maybe another time and that I will message her when but wont. I am not going to feel like poison again. Also on the phone she was mentioning something about us always messaging and talking on the phone, but lol we don’t talk on the phone anymore because she never calls me on her  own because she wants to talk, waits for me to wanna talk and calls or I call her and I want her to want to talk to me on her own, not because I want her to talk to me if that makes any  sense. He’s also only here 2 weeks out of every month, then back out of BC another 2.

     

    Maybe when I am older I will attempt to reconnect but I am just a shadow and I wont let her know my feelings because what’s the point? she’s happy, i’ll leave her be and fade away. I’ll never attempt to ruin someones happiness just because I have a little feelings for a friend.

    #295499

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    You are always welcome to post here, I am always glad to read from you!

    Well, what a love story this is, in my mind, on your part with some limited encouragement on her part, for years and still going on. My goodness!

    If it wasn’t for the fact that you are not inclined to meet a new woman and have a relationship with another woman, I would be discouraging you from keeping contact with her. Problem is she has had a special place in your heart for so long and .. she is the only one that entered your heart that way.

    I read how you feel when she tells you that you are a nice guy, and how you wish you were they guy that does the things with her that you wish you did. On the other hand, I am thinking, you are.. kind of afraid to do those things, to be in a relationship like you wish you had with her. I figure she would have had to encourage you to be in such a relationship with her, to take your hand and lead you through it, if she was so inclined. (I wish she was, I wish she did do just that!)

    anita

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