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Let her go?

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This topic contains 727 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  anita 5 days, 19 hours ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 706 through 720 (of 728 total)
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  • #321339

    pete
    Participant

    She just said she thought she told me and sounded embarrassed I found out the way I did and that he’s not into sharing his feelings and opening up about them and felt she was distant with him. Things are getting better now between them and they spend time together all the time and she hinted they have sex often.

    #321347

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    She hinted that they have sex often.. so she is not concerned that you feel jealous, I am guessing. I figure at this point she is busy working, has an adult daughter or more (I forgot), a boyfriend, lives far away from you, I know you don’t drive, I don’t know about her. Maybe it is just difficult to get together, distance wise, transportation, work schedule. And when she does get together with a friends, maybe it is because that friend lives close and drives, so it is more likely to happen on a moment notice, a get together.

    anita

    #321363

    pete
    Participant

    No reason to be worried what I think I don’t care what they do together, just what me and her do together or don’t do together I should say, 2 daughters. She drives, lives an hour away but works a lot where I live. Anyway I got this off my chest, no idea what I will do except play some more games right now.

    #321371

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Thanks for the details (it saves me going back looking for them, for example # of daughters she has). Playing games does provide the down time you need, to distract and relax. Will read from you when you post again. Do so anytime you want to.

    anita

    #321425

    pete
    Participant

    One final thought but do you think it’s possible she just doesn’t like me anymore? or her man has told her to keep away from me?? (i’ve had a few boyfriends tell their girlfriends to stay away from me, 1 wanted to kick my ass WTF???) She told me she will keep me posted about something and I am sure she wont. Things changed once she got a boyfriend pretty much instantly, which is weird.

    #321481

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    It is very, very common for a boyfriend to not like his girlfriend to have male friends outside the workplace or very limited contexts. Men get jealous, so do women regarding their boyfriends having female friends outside very limited contexts. What is the status of that loan you gave her long ago, is there still a debt on her part, money she owes you, and if so, how much and have there been any plans regarding paying it back to you?

    anita

    #321577

    pete
    Participant

    Still owes $850, doubt i’ll see it. She stopped it so she can do other things she owes. I’ve been fuming all day, like I don’t matter…WTF!! Nobody else was there for her when she needed help, none of her other friends call her and be as supportive as me, she said nobody ever does that for her when I told her to call me anytime she wants a good day, bad day, good news, etc. People at work tell me I should be angry and take it personal. I dunno how to even handle this with her, what to say…

    #321583

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I am so  sorry you are fuming all day, I know how upsetting and uncomfortable it is to be fuming!

    I asked about the money because I was wondering how that plays into things, if it is a motivation on her part to keep in touch with you (although not a frequent kind of keeping in touch). Throughout your thread I often thought of her as a nice, kind person, and I still do. I wish the money thing was clear and resolved so that it would be out of the way, either forgive the rest of her debt or demand it.

    Otherwise, I am at a loss… dunno, like you said.

    anita

    #321587

    pete
    Participant

    I’m not worried about the money anymore tbh, I don’t even think about it but telling me she wants to stop paying me for other debts and stuff with her man is kinda a low thing to do. I am at a loss too. Not everything goes perfect and you gotta go through hurdles, but aren’t these kinda big hurdles? and it seems she’s fine with them happening and not fixing things? She’s a go with the flow and whatever happens happens, but I guess even bad things and nor wanting to fix things whatever happens happens.

    #321593

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I don’t know if I should ask, not wanting to add to your fuming.. so feel free to ignore the following question: what did she say exactly about stopping paying you “for other debts and stuff with her man”?

    anita

    #321595

    pete
    Participant

    Asked me if she can stop paying me and that she has other things she has to pay for (she owes) and I said sure because I dunno how to really answer that question. But got angry about the money thing and says she wishes she could pay me outright, then I meditated on forgiveness and not thought about it since. Her eyes widened and she was like “That was HUGE for me the $1000 for the electrical so I could sell my place finally”.

    #321599

    pete
    Participant

    Should I text her if we can talk tonight? that I am really taking it personal and just need to talk about it, along with the engagement thing which has also really bugged me.

    #321601

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    So she said that she paid her electric bill (not her boyfriend’s) with the 850 she owed you (plus 150, so to cover a$1000 bill?

    Another thing that crossed my mind a few moments ago: you talk to your co workers about her, but aren’t these the same people she worked with and may still keep in touch with, maybe learning through them how angry you are at her from time to time and what you say about her?

    anita

    #321603

    pete
    Participant

    Owes 850, the rest is paid for. Nobody really keeps in touch with her and I am careful who I tell and I just text her if we can talk tonight, that I am really taking it personal and I rather not hold it in as that’s bad for things but if not that’s ok too.

    #321605

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Text her then, definitely, better than holding it in and fuming. I just hope that you do get to talk to her tonight and get some relief. I hope you let me know what happens next.

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 706 through 720 (of 728 total)

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