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Let her go?

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This topic contains 793 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  anita 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 721 through 735 (of 794 total)
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  • #321711

    pete
    Participant

    No response, i’ll give her until the end of the week maybe she doesn’t have her phone or something. I don’t keep texting, I do 1 and that’s it as they either respond or don’t. I also don’t call unless it’s agreed between the 2 of us even for issues.

    #321721

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    It is good that you text only once and wait for a response, and not repeatedly text. It is also good that you consider possibilities, such as that she may not have her phone with her, instead of jumping to conclusions. I hope she responds to you today!

    anita

    #321873

    pete
    Participant

    Well, I am an asshole. She messaged me and told me she’s going through some emotional stuff and not up to talking right now and is barely where I am these days and she rarely sees her other friends and says for me to please don’t take it personal, that I am an awesome person and friend. Told her to forget what I said, that I am here for her always and sorry for her troubles and she’s also an awesome person and friend and put a heart. Then I put in another text saying seriously anytime, just call me whenever.

     

    So maybe it wasn’t personal, just never sees her other friends and we always talk on the phone and see eachother oddly.

    #321961

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I’ve been hearing about this woman, your friend, for so long and I never changed my view of her- a nice, genuine, kind woman. Not perfect, of course, but close. She never behaved in a rude way to you, never impatient with you, just like this time. Lots of people would get angry in return. Not her- “says for me to please don’t take it personal, that I am an awesome person and friend”-

    – see, she told you that you are awesome, not an ass**^*. Believe her then- you are awesome!

    anita

    #322005

    pete
    Participant

    Nobody is perfect, everyone has their flaws but you gotta accept warts and all. I’ll be around sometime, both my ankles are so swollen right now, I went hiking with a buddy from work at the mountain I go to (by myself and with her) and broke in my new shoes which was a bad idea. I hope everything is alright with her though, especially with her man. Hope things are good with you as well.

    #322127

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    Thank you for wishing me well. I hope your ankles recover soon, yes better not break into new shoes while on a hike. The holidays are almost here, I wonder if you will continue your candy tradition at Christmas time. Hope you won’t drink as much though, to the point of throwing up.

    anita

    #322177

    pete
    Participant

    Thanks and I decided I will wait for her to message or phone me before I message her or phone her (not as a test, just grown tired of doing everything myself). I have a feeling I may be waiting 8 months though (or never?). :/ I also think if I had my license maybe we would have been hanging out more often, she did say she is rarely where I live these days “Plus I am barely in *city* these days”. Anyway adios!

    #322181

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I hope it will not be eight months!!! I imagine by Christmas- that Christmas mug should remind you of you, if she needs a reminder. Adios for now, blkhwkdwn1, have a good, restful weekend!

    anita

    #324173

    pete
    Participant

    I lasted 2 weeks, I could not do it! I’ve been really taking it personal, was wanting to call her and get it off my chest so I messaged yesterday if we can talk, she said sure when she’s off. Told her I would call her later that night, she called right when she got home and messaged me she’s home and can talk now but I did not pick up, was in the middle of a game. Called her after, did not tell her what I was gonna say…I got trouble speaking when I have something to get off my chest, could not say anything and she said whenever I know what I wanna get off my chest to call her and we can talk about it. Anyway she’s gonna be working a few days a week a few blocks from where I live soon so that’s cool. She did not wanna talk last time because she was having man troubles she said but they are all good now, none of my business between them but she knows she can talk to me about it. They just went too quickly for him.

    Anyway, she wants to get with some of us and do something, she misses us (not all just many) and tells me if they have some work outings to keep her in the loop and she might come depending who’s going as she doesn’t talk to anyone else from her old work that much except the very odd coffee or hot tub nights or odd facebook message, pretty much just me. Near the end I just randomly blurted out that all I want for her is to be happy, healthy and free in life. She really digged how I said I wanted her to be free and was saying that she is getting better but she was like “omg don’t leave” in the past, pretty sure she was talking about when she quit but hard to know for sure? maybe she meant me? sounded like it a little. She’s working on slowly meditating and work stuff and other stuff with her man. Anyway we talked for 39 minutes, only know because I check my phone at the end of our conversations. Also told her how proud I am of her, she’s come a LONG way since she started her career.

     

    I’ll write down the thing to get off my chest in a few weeks and call her up. It’s really hard, my mind goes blank and once I say 1 word the next word is  really bumbled and say another word and the next is bumbled again  and so on. When we talk we kinda go deep into feelings, like what happened and how it made us feel going through that and stuff. I guess like a girl friendship with another girl sort of thing but I am a guy if that makes any sense? Or maybe just a different type of relationship between 2 people?

    #324177

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I will be able to thoroughly read your recent post and reply when I am back to the computer in about 13 hours from now.

    anita

    #324179

    pete
    Participant

    Alright, i’ll be around here and there. Not much going on for me, my ankles are healed up but going through my depression again.

    #324239

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    “Or maybe just a different type of relationship between 2 people?”-

    – yes, your relationship with her has been a different type of relationship- for you, I believe your relationship with her (when in her presence and at times on the phone) has been the first of its kind. It transcends an acquaintance kind of relationship, a co-worker friendly kind of relationships. There has been in it an intimacy that you don’t have much experience with.

    Better that you prepare what you want to tell her, type it, save it, go back to it, edit it if you want, and print it, give it to her to read out loud when you see her next.

    Good thing your ankles healed. A walk outside in the cold air will help your depression. As a matter of fact, I am about  to take such a walk myself within the hour, and it is cold outside.

    anita

    #325043

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I wonder how you are feeling today.

    anita

    #325533

    pete
    Participant

    I am alright I suppose, you? I decided next month since it will be 2020 and a new year I will text her if she can start reaching out to me more often. She literally never reaches out to me anymore, it’s been a loooooong time. I’d do it now but she’s busy and it’s Xmas month  so I am sure she’s got a million things to be doing/thinking right now. If she says no? I really don’t wanna keep doing everything myself, on top of it I doubt we will be hanging out anymore with her moved away and all, plus I am sure her man put his foot down to end us hanging out. If she says she’s too busy or no, well that wont bode well for us communicating past that point.

    #325597

    anita
    Participant

    Dear blkhwkdwn1:

    I’m alright too in this cold, grey Monday morning, after Thanksgiving-before Christmas/New Year. I think I like January better. What I wish for you for this new year is that you figure out clearly what it is that you want in this relationship with this woman, specifically. So that you don’t find yourself again and again in between hope and disappointment in regard to her. And then, I wish you communicate that clearly to her.

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 721 through 735 (of 794 total)

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