December 4, 2019 at 3:45 pm #326053
I’m not sure if I wanna wait a whole month and a half to ask her, would it be fine if I asked sooner even though Dec is a busy month? although reaching out should not really effect things, it’s a simple 5 second text or even a 5 minute phone call. Can’t be too busy for that when we talk once a month for 40 minutes or replies to my texts. I am really tired of chasing this friendship that really doesn’t look like exists anymore.December 4, 2019 at 5:10 pm #326059
I think it would be fine if you ask her sooner, even though December is a busy month. Really, you are worthy of her five minute! You are worthy of much more than her five minutes, for crying out loud! You deserve hours of her time this December, says I!
I know how difficult it’s been for you, chasing her, or feeling like you’re chasing her (there is a lot of mental chasing she may not know about, that is, you thinking about her).
Call her or text her, definitely. Let me know what happens next, will you?
anitaDecember 5, 2019 at 1:07 pm #326197
I dunno what to say, how do you tell someone if they can reach out more? what are you gonna expect them to even say to that?
I was doing some cleaning and found my old phone, had a look at our text history from 2017, holy crap it’s like things between us are so completly different now. All I wanted to do was text her, now I get angry and rather not text her. She used to type “xoxo”, or “looking forward to seeing you” when we would hang out and “Was thinking about you” sometimes when I disapear for a month or 2.
I dunno what happened? actually I kinda do, she got a boyfriend and I am sure he told her to distance herself from me lol. It’s brutal because I just want those days back, she would even reach out to me sometimes unlike now, always me. I had some of the best times of my life with her, mostly because I keep myself inside away from anything but not with her. Just let me reverse time, I miss being really close to someone. 🙁December 5, 2019 at 1:23 pm #326199
Isn’t it amazing, what it takes to have “the best time” in a lifetime, not something one can buy with money, but that “being really close to someone”. You can’t buy that or stop wanting that. It’s a longing deep inside, it’s who we are.
“I keep myself inside away from anything but not with her”- we were all like that in the beginning: outside, reaching out to our parents, then to other people… until we get hurt and keep ourselves inside, closed.
You remember now how it felt then, you can still feel it. I so do wish you will experience that again!
anitaDecember 5, 2019 at 1:42 pm #326201
Maybe I should just block her in my way to let her be free and happy? let the last time we talked me telling her I wish most of all for her to be happy in her life, to be healthy and most importantly be free. Then if we did see each other again just tell her that was my goodbye to her? she did say “you want me to be free?” in a choked up way as she had trouble letting go and because apparently I tell her things nobody else does, which is weird…friends should tell friends these things, yes? Would also mean I wont get back to her for things my work does so she can see everyone again.December 5, 2019 at 1:51 pm #326205
No, don’t block her, unless you have to, for your mental health, because it hurts too much to feel that need for someone. Block her if you need to, not so to let her be free. I don’t think she needs or wants to be free of you. I think that you are a piece of her freedom, and she values that a lot. She doesn’t need to be free from you. She needs to be free otherwise.
anitaDecember 10, 2019 at 2:00 pm #326949
So I am still trying to figure out what I am supposed to say without looking like some needy a-hole. I can’t message her telling her to reach out to me more, it has to be her choice. She does not want to reach out to me but says she does when I dissapear. I don’t wanna wait a whole year for her to reach out to me but I also don’t wanna be the only one to reach out to her all the time, but I can’t tell her if she can reach out to me more.December 10, 2019 at 2:21 pm #326953
Just tell her you love her, not like a boyfriend in love or in lust. True love, as true as can be, love that makes you want to be near her, hear her voice, see her face, her smile, feel her hand in yours, be it for a second. A kind of love that doesn’t demand anything but wants to much. Tell her you don’t know if you are making any sense. Tell her you want what’s best for her, but you also want her in your life, in some way or another. Never to use her, never to abuse her, but to just hear her and see her, so that you keep knowing that she is in your life.
Am I making any sense?
anitaDecember 10, 2019 at 2:43 pm #326955
I am probably just going to keep it inside and do nothing and have the same results happen over and over and over again. I know what I have to do (thread title), I just don’t wanna do it. I’ll figure it out I guess.December 10, 2019 at 3:21 pm #326965
September 18, 2016, three years, two months and three weeks ago, first post: “So I have this girl I’ve known for YEARS through work, she’s no longer there anymore… I have started a friendship with her for the past month.. and started really liking her even more and I dunno why? I know I’ll never be anything more than just a friend.. I will never feel worthy of her, she’s also the most amazing person I have ever met and I’m happy around her. I can’t stop smiling.. and I’ll do anything to make her happy… I’ve never met anyone like this in my 30+ years being alive”-
– fast forward, December 10, 2019: “I know what I have to do (thread title..”let her go”), I just don’t wanna do it”.
My input today: “I will never feel worthy of her”- you are worthy of her. I know it. I also know I can’t make you believe it.
I know you love her, the real thing, as true a love as love can be. Regardless of you letting her go or not, what all this means is that you are a loving person- this is who you are. So, even if you let her go, you are still that loving man.
I wish you didn’t have to let her go, I wish there was a way…
anitaDecember 10, 2019 at 4:54 pm #326971
3+ years…damn! feels like just last week. Time flies, people fly by. Before you know it I am an old man with a life of regrets.December 10, 2019 at 5:29 pm #326975
We all waste time, youth, resources, we all do. And most of us waste a whole lot of these things. The woman this thread is about, (the woman you love), she wasted a whole lot of her time too, and her youth. She wasted a lot of quality time she could have spent with you!
I wasted a whole lot of my life, and I felt very badly about it, regretting a whole lot- until I looked around me and found out that waste is the norm, not the exception.
anitaDecember 10, 2019 at 7:31 pm #326995
For a change next time we talk just after Xmas I am going to tell her to make the next phone call and the next text. I dunno how long I will have to wait for, it’s gonna suck! probably after the summertime.December 11, 2019 at 6:02 am #327023
It would have been helpful for me if I had the schedule if front of me with these columns: date (ex., Wed, Dec 11, 2019), time (ex. 12:15 pm), contact (text, phone call, or meeting), who contacted whom, and what was communicated (ex., you ask her to call you in the evening). Also on record should be what you referred to as your disappearances, blocking her or whatnot. This way I will have a picture, over time, of what is going on. As is, I don’t know what has been happening.
I have an idea: every time you attempt to contact her, ex., texting her, type here: I texted her today, date, time, and what you texted. If and when she replies, post again: she texted back, time, date and what she texted. I won’t have my columns that way, but I will be able to later place the information into columns and have a picture of what is happening, starting this December and through 2020. Can you do that?
anitaDecember 11, 2019 at 6:40 pm #327175
I think it’s a little late for doing that now. Wont be talking or texting much anymore.