Dear blkhwkdwn1:

I think it would be fine if you ask her sooner, even though December is a busy month. Really, you are worthy of her five minute! You are worthy of much more than her five minutes, for crying out loud! You deserve hours of her time this December, says I!

I know how difficult it’s been for you, chasing her, or feeling like you’re chasing her (there is a lot of mental chasing she may not know about, that is, you thinking about her).

Call her or text her, definitely. Let me know what happens next, will you?

anita

Dear blkhwkdwn1:

Isn’t it amazing, what it takes to have “the best time” in a lifetime, not something one can buy with money, but that “being really close to someone”. You can’t buy that or stop wanting that. It’s a longing deep inside, it’s who we are.

“I keep myself inside away from anything but not with her”- we were all like that in the beginning: outside, reaching out to our parents, then to  other people… until we get hurt and keep ourselves inside, closed.

You remember now how it felt then, you can still feel it. I so  do wish you will experience that again!

anita

Dear blkhwkdwn1:

No, don’t block her, unless you have to, for your mental health, because it hurts too much to feel that need for someone. Block her if you need to, not so to let her be free. I don’t think she needs or wants to be free of you. I think that you are a piece of her freedom, and she values that a lot. She doesn’t need to be free from you. She needs to be free otherwise.

anita

Dear blkhwkdwn1:

Just tell her you love her, not like a boyfriend in love or in lust. True love, as true as can be, love that makes you want to be near her, hear her voice, see her face, her smile, feel her hand in yours, be it for a second. A kind of love that doesn’t demand anything but wants to much. Tell her you don’t know if you are making any sense. Tell her you want what’s best for her, but you also want her in your life, in some way or another. Never to use her, never to abuse her, but to just hear her and see her, so that you keep knowing that she is in your life.

Am I making any sense?

anita

Dear blkhwkdwn1:

September 18, 2016, three years, two months and three weeks ago, first post: “So I have this girl I’ve known for YEARS through work, she’s no longer there anymore… I have started a friendship with her for the past month.. and started really liking her even more and I dunno why? I know I’ll never be anything more than just a friend.. I will never feel worthy of her, she’s also the most amazing person I have ever met and I’m happy around her. I can’t stop smiling.. and I’ll do anything to make her happy… I’ve never met anyone like this in my 30+ years being alive”-

– fast forward, December 10, 2019: “I know what I have to do (thread title..”let her go”), I just don’t wanna do it”.

My input today: “I will never feel worthy of her”- you are worthy of her. I  know it. I also know I can’t  make you believe it.

I know you love her, the real thing, as true a love as love can be. Regardless of you letting her go or not, what all this means is that you are a loving person- this is who you are. So, even if you let her go, you are still that loving man.

I wish you didn’t have to let her go, I wish there was a way…

anita

Dear blkhwkdwn1:

We all waste time, youth, resources, we all do. And most of us waste a whole lot of these things. The woman this thread is about, (the woman you love), she wasted a whole lot of her time too, and her youth. She wasted a lot of quality time she could have spent with you!

I wasted a whole lot of my life, and I felt very badly about it, regretting a whole lot- until I looked around me and found out that waste is the norm, not the exception.

anita

Dear blkhwkdwn1:

It would have been helpful for me if I had the schedule if front of me with these columns: date (ex., Wed, Dec 11, 2019), time (ex. 12:15 pm), contact (text, phone call, or meeting), who contacted whom, and what was communicated (ex., you ask her to call you in the evening). Also on record should be what you referred to as your disappearances, blocking her or whatnot. This way I will have a picture, over time, of what is going on. As is, I don’t know what has been happening.

I have an idea: every time you attempt to contact her, ex., texting her, type here: I texted her today, date, time, and what you texted. If and when she replies, post again: she texted back, time, date and what she texted. I won’t have my columns that way, but I will be able to later place the information into columns and have a picture of what is happening, starting this December and through 2020. Can you do that?

anita