Post # 2:

Dear Tannhauser:

This is my understanding of you, of your experience which you shared here starting nine months ago. I will be using my own words. Your words will be in parentheses inside quotation marks. Please let me know if I am correct in my understanding, where I am not correct, and please do correct me where I am incorrect.

You very much believe in the spiritual realm, in supernatural forces, invisible entities, powers that cannot be seen by most people. Your Kundalini Awakening experience, starting in 2013, four years and ongoing, is about an awakening to this invisible reality. Most people are asleep to this reality. You were chosen to be awakened to reality. The experience of awakening has been extremely distressing to you and full of suffering, physical suffering and a feeling of emptiness, loneliness, separation and despair.

Unlike Christianity and other monotheistic religions which issue orders, the real spiritual realm issues no orders. (“What it does do is leave subtle signs… It doesn’t interfere. It is neutral”)

You described your visions, numbers you came across, the incident when you got drunk in church, other physical experiences and considered these as potential signs. You realize some may be coincidences. Some of the confusion you have experienced is about figuring what is coincidental and what is a valid sign.

Throughout the Awakening, you remained flexible, considering this, then re-evaluating and reconsidering (” For a while I actually thought I was Neptune reincarnated, but now I believe…”) So the Awakening has been a process.

Through this process you figured the following, with a growing certainty:

Christianity, Catholicism, the other monotheistic religions are about human agenda. These religions are not the truth, not reality. And they have been destructive to you and to the world.

Jesus of Christianity is a sanitized version of Bacchus/Dionysus, the Roman god. In other words, Jesus does not exist as a god and may never have existed as a person at all.

The reality of the spiritual realm is that of many gods, and so the ancient people of Greece and Rome (and the ancient people in other parts of the world) were closer to the truth/ reality of the spiritual world.

Although these gods are neutral, some may be devious, nice or terrible, like Kali, the Hindu goddess.

The comforting delusion that there is a good man-in-the-sky, the Christian god, is just that, a delusion from which you have awakened. There is no one to pray to, for good to come to one’s life. Some of the spiritual forces in real life have ill intent. Some of those forces are the ones that inflicted this experience on you, this suffering you have been experiencing since 2013. Without the comfort of the well intended, good man-in-the-sky; without your previous church affiliation and without your family’s support, you feel like a fish out of water, alone, rejected, terrified, hence the title of your thread: My Kundalini Horror.

In your isolation you retreated into fantasy world, as have other people going through the Kundalini experience. As a result of your Awakening, you also grew closer to nature, protective of nature.

You asked repeatedly what is the point of this (“What is the point of this isolation?” “What is all this for?”) You believe this Kundalini Awakening was imposed upon you, chosen for you, and so you don’t see yourself a hero (“I have no choice in the matter. Greatness happens out of ones choice to do something.)

You expressed admiration for people who dared to defy dogma, step outside the herd, speak their own truth, display courage when mocked by society/ the herd, called crazy and mad. (“You have to speak YOUR truth.”)

And this is what you did here, Tannhauser, in this very thread. You spoke your truth, consistently, for nine months. You did so courageously, bravely.

Let me know if I understood correctly and do correct me where I did not

anita

Dear Tannhauser:

You are very welcome. Please do post anytime, if it helps. My agenda here on this thread with you is not to promote my beliefs, or to discount yours. The more open I have been to your truth, the more I see sense in it, logic that previously escaped me when reading your posts in the past.

I do not want, in my writing to you, to increase your already existing distress and therefore, I do not intend to volunteer my thoughts, opinions and/ or beliefs on the matter of your experience. If you ask me a question, I will answer, empathetically and respectfully, and always, honestly, as I too, as you do, care about speaking my truth. Here, on your thread, not unless asked.

It is okay with me if you don’t ask, again: I do not have the agenda to speak here of my truth.

I would like to think of this thread as being about you, your truth and your experience.

anita

Dear Tannhauser:

You are welcome. Thank you for your appreciation.

It is good to know you are here- I am very pleased that you chose to post here and I hope you continue. You are welcome here, I say, anytime!

anita

Hi again.

First of all I am happy that you guys engaged together pretty well. I must admit I can not leave the topic without adding some words of my inner wisdom.

Tannhauser obviously I’m invisible now and my advice here is not required but it’s hard to ignore your buzzing mind, which is the main issue here -no offence. Let me explain: your curious nature and overstimulated brain makes it much harder for you as I can witness myself.

Awakening is to transform your own faults which will help you to raise your consciousness higher. But you must let these emotions just be – if you feel like crying CRY as much you need until you will cry it all out.

When the sadness, fear etc is experienced fully, then you finally release this emotional pain, vibrational energies will shift and physical pain triggered by this emotional pain also will disappear.

From my experience the awakening shed the light on the special to my heart scenario. I’ve went through the loss of my mum 11 years back and it took me couple of years to put myself together, the hardest lesson back then. Gracefully to GOD and the Light and Love  I must go through it again but with such an ease  knowing that  this  is  not  the  end  and  both of my great Parents are now together and what a heck of a great job they did, raising such a woman like me.

Knowing the unseen changes everything.

You may want to know how did I get here – I only have unbreakable trust and unconditional love.

God bless All  * I love you all * Thank you All

Hello Tannhauser. I can discern what is troubling you.  It is evil spirits.  Tannhauser God did not thrust these tormenting spirits upon you. In all fairness, you opened the door and allowed them entry through hating Him and practicing Kundalini. However there is one person under heaven who has all power and authority, and that is Jesus Christ. Admit your hardness of heart and surrender to Him Tannhauser, He came to set the prisoner free and He will free you too.  Either immediately or a little more each day, as you submit to His Word. A book that may interest you is The Day That Satan Called. Praying for you!!

tannhauser how can I get in contact with you. I am going through the same thing as you and I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS SHIT. it was spontaneously for me as well. and I know the pain you are going through although I am just beginning this stupid journey. Do you have instagram or facebook or somehow I can contact you to talk and ask you some questions? it would mean a lot to me