October 24, 2019 at 2:07 pm #319563
I went back on your thread trying to find the Rules, page 41, Sept 5, restated somewhat, the Rules are:
1. Lindsey does not initiate a text to K. If he texts you, then respond to him with only one text (you don’t send a 2nd text unless he replies to the first text)
2. If K flirts with Lindsey over text/ Snapchat, if Lindsey wants to send a flirty reply back, she sends a one sentence only flirty-reply back.
3. Of a female coworker goes to K’s desk to talk, Lindsey gets up and leaves.
4. If K is super texting one day, Lindsey does not expect him to text or super text the following day.
5. Lindsey does not stop by K’s desk.
Will you review these Rules and edit, or suggest a deletion or an addition to the list?
anitaOctober 24, 2019 at 2:12 pm #319565
Yes, 1-5 rules are good and apply. I guess this # 6 is a boundary? Lindsey asked K to return text or answer a question instead of ignoring when he doesn’t want to answer question or whatever reason. Here’s the thing-if he brakes the rule what do I do?
I told him he is basically a master bullshi**er. He agreed and laughed. He can make almost every situation not a big deal with how he words things.
LindseyOctober 24, 2019 at 2:30 pm #319579
Good, “1-5 rues are good and apply”. I don’t think this proposed 6th rule should join 1-5 because it is a suggested rule for him, something like: “I K will answer Lindsey’s texted question and not ignore it”. So it can’t be your rule.
What do you do if he breaks his rule (he said okay, but he did not make it a rule for himself!)- that is when he ignores a question texted to him?
Don’t know yet. Let me know when you are testing him, and remember Rules 1-5 !
anitaOctober 25, 2019 at 10:35 am #319685
Maybe it’s a boundary? I’m not sure. Keeping rules 1-5. I just do not want to be setting myself up for failure with this. Last night he stated he drinks almost everyday and smokes pot. Not surprised, just disappointed in general. I wish people knew how bad drinking was for their mental health.
I see a staircase in front of me I do not want to climb. The stairs are not stable; there are holes, hidden traps, and disappointment.
I am hoping I will learn to let go of my feelings for him altogether. I am hoping to move on and treat him as a acquaintance.
LindseyOctober 25, 2019 at 10:52 am #319691
Good to read that you are “keeping rules 1-5”.
If you are referring to you and K as a staircase where “The stairs are not stable; there are holes, hidden traps, and disappointment”, then I agree. And better not use that staircase because it will not get you Up, but Down, falling, that is.
Good comparison- relationship and a staircase. See to it that you are a solid, dependable staircase for your children; avoid getting on the unstable staircases leading to Falling (the ones with K, your ex, your mother), and hope for a future stable staircase with a man. That will be real nice, won’t it, a solid staircase, or relationship with a man?
October 25, 2019 at 11:03 am #319695
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 5 days ago by anita.
That would be very nice. I hope it’s possible. I like how you used the staircase for my children, good point.
LindseyOctober 25, 2019 at 11:27 am #319699
That you see it as a good point, to use the staircase image for your children, what it means to me is that you are a good person and a good mother, and it makes me smile, to know that.
anitaOctober 25, 2019 at 2:19 pm #319721
Thank you. I don’t know how I made it this far without you.
LindseyOctober 25, 2019 at 2:53 pm #319723
Thank you Lindsey for making my day!
Interesting how you never post too many words in any one post, but you say all there is to say in a few sentences in each post. And in this one, right above- a lot of heart warming feeling received here from one short line, 13 words. I do wish you a good weekend and post anytime, always good to read from you.
anitaOctober 29, 2019 at 10:37 am #320401
Hope this email finds you well. My anxiety continues to lie…dormant let’s say. Busy baking lots of desserts for food day tomorrow and work and I also drop off food at my vet’s office every major holiday. He and his wife are some of my favorite people. I have Thursday off to spend with the kids at school for Halloween parties and a parade. Looking forward to a fun weekend with them.
Continuing to enjoy time to myself more and more. I am noticing lots of single women with children who seem very eager to start a serious relationship and get remarried. I don’t think that is me and I’m not sure why. I don’t think that was ever me.
I continue to keep my rules and seem to be getting more and more comfortable with K as a friend without expectations when we casually talk. Although in my head we do stuff all the time, maybe it’s better for that to stay in my head instead of in real life.
LindseyOctober 29, 2019 at 10:47 am #320403
Good to read that your anxiety continues to lie dormant, that you are keeping your rules and that you feel more comfortable regarding how things are with K. I can almost smelt the fresh sweet desserts you will be baking. Your vet and his wife are lucky to have you drop those in their office.
You wrote that it was never you, being very eager “to start a serious relationship and get remarried”- you mean it was never you since you separated from your husband or before marrying him, not having been eager to have a serious relationship?
anitaOctober 29, 2019 at 10:51 am #320405
Mostly I mean that now. But before I got married I had a hard time with relationships. Which I am sure is not hard to believe. I was really insecure growing up until my mid-30’s. While I am more secure now, I wouldn’t say I have healthy and high self-esteem. I think I dated guys when I was bored or lonely versus when I had a connection because a connection was never there. I also didn’t seek out guys but let them approach me. I think I was and still put my mental health first (besides my children now) and that always seems to take up most of my time.
LindseyOctober 29, 2019 at 11:14 am #320411
Putting your mental health first as well as your children- that’s the same thing because your children need you healthy no less than you need yourself healthy.
What desserts will you be baking?
anitaOctober 29, 2019 at 11:38 am #320417
I’m making homemade red velvet cupcakes (the trick is cake flour instead of all purpose flour). Also brownies with Reece cups in the middle, and monster cookies. (basically a mixture of different cookies types).
LindseyOctober 29, 2019 at 11:52 am #320423
Monster cookies, makes me think of cookie monster from Sesame Street… coooookies!!!
Cake flour instead of all purpose flour- thank you for the tip!