November 8, 2019 at 8:38 am #322133
Thank you. I’m going to continue to track on my calendar my moods. I’ve never really tracked it and I think that is overdue too. I hope you have a good weekend and I will talk to you soon.
LindseyNovember 8, 2019 at 8:45 am #322137
You are welcome. Another weekend on its way, so soon. Have a relaxing weekend, hope the mood you record on your calendar this weekend is good.
anitaNovember 14, 2019 at 11:39 am #323001
Hope this email finds you well. It’s crazy how doing something you are so afraid of turns out to be the best thing you could have ever done. Stopping all communication with K has increased my self esteem and self worth. There was definitely a day or 2 of sadness but it has resolved. I see him now for what he is; full of sh*t and a very unhappy person.
Focusing on work and my kids. We are doing good and getting ready for the holidays and a cold winter. Getting used to these healthy decisions but I really like them lol. Excited about going to Yoga and Goats on December 7th at a local barn with a friend. The baby goats have sweaters!
LindseyNovember 14, 2019 at 11:57 am #323003
The baby goats have sweaters?! It must be the cold, for baby goats to need sweaters. I am so glad you stopped all communication with K, excellent! An increased self esteem and self worth is a wonderful thing. Focusing on work and kids is definitely more rewarding- by far- than focusing on K, isn’t it.
I didn’t sleep well last night, thinking about taking a nap but I am not used to taking naps, yet, I feel so tired. Will see.
anitaNovember 14, 2019 at 12:03 pm #323007
Hope you sleep well tonight. I recommend short naps. Long naps tend to have me waking up feeling disoriented.
LindseyNovember 14, 2019 at 12:25 pm #323013
Thank you for the suggestion- yes, better not get myself feeling disoriented. Not decided on a nap yet, may not do it. I hope you have a good rest of the day and looking forward to read from you when you post next.
anitaNovember 14, 2019 at 6:58 pm #323049ThatGirlXParticipant
I can relate and tell you how you should hold your head high and know this that every one of us has to go through some dark sad and depressing almost soul destroying times Desperate salkerish mad woman what ever any one wants to classify it as I call it raw and that is what you are after the point of being colossal to someone who your thought was different to the person he turned out to be Do desperate here’s how I turned that exact saying in to him now asking begging me to not ever leave real talk
no matter what I never judged even though I was angry not once did I judge ,chase text call,email.nothing for exactly
3days but in those three days I got a book and started writing down everything I wanted to say
after that I was so emotionally exhausted I though really right now what’s the worstvtruellybthe worst that can happen and I though dying and then question the builshit I was feeling killing me or living cause I was on the party to some really bad self doubt questioning mad way until that question
living is important truely opinions self doubt emotional ways they are feelings you feel but don’t it is what it is head up say ok when you see him basically make him doubt his own significant existence when it comes to anything emotional xxNovember 19, 2019 at 5:52 am #323539
Happy Tuesday. Tonight my daughter is performing a half time dance at a local middle school basketball game and I’m pretty excited about watching her. Work is super stressful and busy but just trying to stay organized and come in a bit early and take breaks during the day. My kids are traveling with their dad to see my parents this Thursday to Sunday. I’ll be picking them up from the airport Sunday. I made sure to communicate with my mom about telling me before hand if my ex is going to hang out with them so I don’t see it on facebook. She stated he is just dropping them off and going to stay with his family but I’m prepared to see him hang out possibly with my family too; it happened last time he visited. Although this situation is weird with no boundaries, I’ve been learning to accept it for what it is. My parents do not have boundaries and never have so I make sure to communicate with them and just try to not take anything personally. They are taking the kids to Disney for their Christmas present and my kids will have a blast and so will my parents.
K has not reached out to me and I have not made any eye contact with him when passing at work. However, yesterday he stood up and came to my desk and assisted me with a work issue and pretty much saved my butt. I said thanks and we kind of left it at that. Thursday is our Thanksgiving Lunch at work and I was thinking about setting aside a cupcake and banana bread that I’m making and leave it at his desk. Right now I’m back and forth between doing it. I don’t want to invite anything back into my life that I worked hard to fix.
LindseyNovember 19, 2019 at 8:24 am #323561
I say: do not leave any food on his desk (cupcake and banana bread), do not treat him any different from anyone else in the office. If you don’t leave dessert on everyone’s desks, don’t leave any on his desk.
If the kids have fun with your parents, let it be, just like you are doing. Plan doing a few fun things yourself, Thurs-Sun while your kids are away, a day in the movies, maybe.
I am glad you are excited about watching your daughter perform a half time dance at the school basketball game. I bet it means a lot to her, to have her mother there, excited to watch her!
anitaNovember 20, 2019 at 11:00 am #323761
I definitely agree with the no food at his desk. That situation made me realize how important for my wellbeing it is to stay away from him. The exchange set me back a bit but I’m getting back on track. My daughter’s dance performance was really cool; she seems to have this zest for life and having fun. Maybe it’s a kid thing, maybe it’s just her.
I also feeling like I have the flu so I’m trying to make it to 4:30 and get some meds on the way home. Tomorrow might be a movie, sleep and pj day.
Hoping you are having a good week and talk soon,
LindseyNovember 20, 2019 at 12:30 pm #323785
If your daughter often has “this zest for life and having fun”, it is because you didn’t rain on her parade and extinguishing that zest, and I applaud you for that!
Keep the minimal contact with K, no food on his desk. I hope you feel better, keep as calm as you can (it always help when we feel unwell, and otherwise), and make it to the end of this work day. Hope you the meds help and that you rest well this evening and night.
anitaNovember 22, 2019 at 5:40 am #323993
It seems you have this ability to say things that cut right to the heart; usually it’s something I need to hear but didn’t even realize it.
At work today but not wanting to be here. Slept yesterday and hoping to feel better soon. Hope you have a good Friday!
LindseyNovember 22, 2019 at 7:54 am #324033
Thank you for saying that. I bet you don’t want to be at work when you are not feeling well. It takes a strong woman to make it through a work day when feeling unwell. The end of the day will come soon enough, have a restful weekend!
anitaNovember 25, 2019 at 2:23 pm #324463
It’s been a long and busy Monday. My weekend was pretty relaxing, I started to feel a lot better Saturday. I picked the kids up from the airport yesterday and we went to lunch and to the library for awhile. They had so much fun in Florida and my parents really enjoyed having them visit.
I have this feeling lately that maybe I am selling myself short-maybe I deserve more from friends and relationships, especially with men. I do know that I have a lot of negative self talk and worry that people don’t like me. Or that I’m saying the wrong thing or being too loud. I’m working on this but it’s hard.
Hope you had a good weekend,
LindseyNovember 25, 2019 at 2:37 pm #324467
Good to read that you started feeling better Saturday and that you had a relaxing weekend. Good think your kids enjoyed Florida. Regarding you deserving “more from friends and relationships, especially with men”- yes, you definitely deserve more than what you got from K (and the other man from before.. as well as the soon to be ex husband, of course). You deserve respect and positive attention, and kindness. Absolutely.
My weekend was fine, thank you. Raining, grey and cold outside all day today though.