Home→Forums→Relationships→Seeing a man still living with his ex after 20 yrs.
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December 27, 2022 at 3:11 pm #412706shookieParticipant
Hi Anita,
It would be nice to have you as a neighbor~ I feel we have a lot in common and I enjoy so much the reads we share~
I have been pet-sitting for a few of my neighbors while they are on their cruises and trips around the world. They show me pictures and there is so much I feel I am missing.
I have always wanted to have at least 10 blissful years with a person I truly Loved, trusted, and cared for. Many people don’t know how to communicate these days. I am so sick of cell phones and texts~
I am so fed up with the 20 yr. man…LOL, His new name…He keeps texting and I have not reached out to him. Finally, I responded with are your fingers broken as a response to his last text~ Within about a minute he texted again & asked if he could call and I was polite and texted yes. No longer than laying my phone down he called. He said do you realize it has been 11 days and 10 hrs. since we have spoken.
He left me a giant Candy Cane on a chair I have outside. I laughed so hard because I had never seen such a big candy cane. It was about as round as a silver dollar coin and about 2 feet long. This morning he left a box of candy.
I don’t really understand him and his thinking. He leaves so many texts letting me know how busy he is (I really don’t care)
The other night he called & I had fallen asleep listening to Alabama Christmas music. I cried, it was a good cry thinking of Christmas when I was little and how excited I was about Christmas. Of course, Christmas was a favorite Holiday for me and my Father. I Love and miss my mother also it was different with my father.
I don’t talk to many people and my neighbors probably think I am a hermit which I am not. I don’t like gossip or drama. I will say I live in a nice neighborhood where I really don’t fit in with most of what I call dime-store millionaires.
Most of the people here can afford to hire people to do their maintenance whereas the women do their little jogging in all of their labled W@#&% clothing while I am in shorts and a tee shirt mowing grass/cleaning my gutters and chain sawing tree limbs so they won’t hit my house.
I would like to move to Montana, another dream. I have so much running through my head as to the thoughts of moving. I have my home and a few acres of land which I am going to sell as soon as spring hits. I don’t feel I would get a decent price for it now.
I am in a bit of a strange mood today. I feel a bit lost~
I’ll put a good movie on and try to feel better.
Have a nice evening & I will be in touch soon My Friend~
Shookie~
December 27, 2022 at 5:41 pm #412717AnonymousGuestDear Shookie: I didn’t have internet all day, and assuming I have it back by Wed morning (I am now away from home), I will reply further then (it is now Tues 5:41 pm where I am at).
December 28, 2022 at 6:40 am #412739AnonymousGuestDear Shookie:
Good morning! “It would be nice to have you as a neighbor… Most of the people here can afford to hire people to do their maintenance whereas the women do their little jogging in all of their labeled W@#&% clothing while I am in shorts and a tee shirt mowing grass/cleaning my gutters and chain sawing tree limbs so they won’t hit my house– I would want you as a neighbor, not the fancy joggers. I am impressed that you are able to use a chain saw!
“I have been pet-sitting for a few of my neighbors while they are on their cruises and trips around the world. They show me pictures and there is so much I feel I am missing….I would like to move to Montana, another dream“- I have no desire whatsoever to go on cruises or trips around the world. Living in a place like Montana, on the other hand, would be a desire, if I wasn’t already living outside the city limit, pretty much in the woods.
“He left me a giant Candy Cane on a chair I have outside“- that’s nice, but he is “still living with his ex after 20 years” (title of your thread), so…
“I cried, it was a good cry thinking of Christmas when I was little and how excited I was about Christmas…” – treasure the good memories. I am smiling as I think of .. your memories.
anita
December 29, 2022 at 8:23 am #412812shookieParticipantGood Morning My Friend~
It has been a disaster since last night when I discovered all of the vets visits with the 3 healthy kitties and my precious Stash which has heart issues and other debilitating issues.
I took all of them and had flea medication and tested & also gave them 2 types of worm meds, which nothing helped. I have to find other meds which I researched last night & just ordered. Should be here Saturday. (I Hope)~ I am starting to wash all the linens and all of their beds are outside in the sun. Not sure what that will do except get them out of the house.
I am spinning trying to do all I can. If these double treatments on my Sweet Stash it may cause him an overload it will crush me. I have spoken to many vets and they all want new patient blood work-ups. He is my favorite I will admit. Can’t imagine the broken heart I will have, a few tears as I am writing, he is laying on me & resting.
I don’t understand why the veterinarians products are not working. I placed an order with chewy first thing this morning for items that will help.
I have a long day ahead of me with all the washing & cleaning for this terrible flea/worm problem. Which comes first chicken or the egg??
Also it has meade me realize I am done with the 20yr. debocle. All texts are about the same/ drama/same problems over & over~ When I checked my texts this morning the same text. Very generic and exactly as you said (living a young couples life) sick of hearing about his family drama which is non-stop.
I need to focus on myself so I will do what it takes to keep my babies healthy and me happy to get them better.
I am going to meditate, calm down and start doing all the things I have been putting off.
Not going to ask anyone for help, I’ll do the best I can.
A bit frustrated but I am going to put bad energy away and pull out the future and hope it gets better.
All I really care about are all the furr babies in the world being in a better place. So many people would put them out as if they are a piece of temporary fun. I will never understand why they are so poorley treated. Apologetic for venting, I feel you are guiding me and Bless you for that.
As being part Cherokee I feel your beautiful spirit~
I need to start washing and cleaning. I will send a read and give you an update.
Are you doing well? How is the weather? I am sending good vibes to you today and always My Friend~
Shookie~
December 29, 2022 at 10:45 am #412821AnonymousGuestDear Shookie:
I am fine, the weather is grey but not raining: thank you for the good vibes! I hope that it can be somewhat of a good morning to you, my friend, given your fur babies heart, worm and flea issues, and all the work that’s ahead of you, cleaning and washing. You sure are doing your best for them! I hope that some of the vet medications start working very soon!
“I am done with the 20yr. debacle. All texts are about the same/ drama/same problems over & over… Very generic and exactly as you said.. sick of hearing about his family drama which is non-stop“- maybe you can think of his drama as a flea problem that you can easily remove from your life!
“Apologetic for venting, I feel you are guiding me and Bless you for that“- vent as much as you wish to vent and thank you!
“As being part Cherokee I feel your beautiful spirit“- I didn’t know you are part Cherokee! Here is a Wilma Pearl Mankiller- a Cherokee woman, and the first to be elected to serve as Principal Chief of the Cherokee Nation- quote: “Individually and collectively, Cherokee people possess an extraordinary ability to face down adversity and continue moving forward“- and so do you, Shookie: you possess the same, today and every day!
anita
December 29, 2022 at 4:33 pm #412842shookieParticipantGood Evening My Friend,
It is amazing that we have never met & I feel your kind caring presence around me.
I started the cleaning process starting with meds for all the babies & I hope what I ordered today comes no later than Saturday.
All bedding was washed & put outside. Vacuuming rugs & floors.
I had no idea of all the boxes I have when being board and not able to sleep and shop online. I packed it all up & took it to the UPS Store Drop off and then the USPS~ The lady laughed when I asked for a trolly because I had so much I had ordered. I found some items from over a year or longer. Not even opened. I had to open all up & repackage with the new way of returning items. I will express how much better it feels to have most of it out of my way and sitting in the trash buckets for the trash service to pick up tomorrow.
I still have 2 rooms to go through mostly old receipts and papers. A few unopened boxes which I have absolutely no idea what is in them. (LOL)…Surprise- surprise as Gomer Pyle used to say…My Father loved that show, he was SGT. Carter to me. We both actually watched and laughed together.
I can’t believe it, as I am writing to you my 20 yr. debacle is sending the same old repetitive texts~Not even wasting time anymore with that mess. It was fun I thought at first & wanted to be loved. He would never be able to share the type of spirit I have. He has questioned it a few times which I don’t say much about.
I despise texting & usually keep my phone off unless I am expecting a call or I use it for the calendar.
Starting in the kitchen tomorrow and working my way to my back bedroom where I may put a stick of dynamite & just blow that room off. (LOL)
After all is clean I am going to use my sage sticks to rid all and any evil spirits in the house and I already have put Dream Catchers throughout the house.
Sending good vibes to you and keep a smile on your face.
Evening my Friend~
Shookie~
December 30, 2022 at 7:48 am #412853AnonymousGuestDear Shookie:
Good Morning My Friend, and congrats for all bedding being washed and put outside, rugs and floors being vacuumed, and for most of the boxes being out of the way!
“My 20 yr. debacle is sending the same old repetitive texts… I despise texting“- and he doesn’t know that you despise texting, or he doesn’t care…?
Your LOLs and positive report are the cause of my first smile this Friday morning, thank you!
anita
January 1, 2023 at 12:12 pm #413010shookieParticipantGood Afternoon & Happy New Year Anita,
The meds. have all been given to my babies & one of the smallest Izzy is still scratching. I don’t understand with her weighing the least.
I have 2 more of the flea solution tubes except I am hesitant to give her any more. I will wait 30 days. I may bathe her if she won’t rip me to shreds.
I have always been able to bathe most of my babies until I found a groomer that would wash & shave them for $50. I called 5 months after the last grooming for Izzy & Stash and the price went up to $150 each. I asked the girl why such a hike and she said products. All they use are clippers which I know have not gone up because I replaced mine a few months ago.
Shame on them for using this C-19 disease to rape people on prices. Stash has been throwing up so many hairballs I may take him outside if it warms up to at least 60 degrees this week and shave him myself. Blu has very thick short hair and Takeda has long beautiful fluffy hair and he does not throw up hairballs.
My Big Boy Stash is laying on my chest as I am writing & he looks so content. It saddens me to imagine him gone. I feel he was meant for me the second I saw him & he is part of my soul. When it is his time I know part of me will go with him.
I just read there is a new article that China has a Highly Immune Evasive Omicron XBB.1.5 variant and is quickly becoming dominant in the U.S. as it doubles weekly. Great, something else for the Feds. to keep their boring speeches and interest rate hikes killing the economy. I don’t have T.V, glance at CNBC on the computer to see what disaster is keeping the Feds. with a high-paying job.
I lived in China and know how nasty it can be but this is getting rediculous.
I only go out when extremely necessary. There is nothing I want for right now except some cereal & milk. I have more cat food then anything else. (LOL) Chewy has fast delivery & they are so kind. Great Company.
I’ll throw on a ball cap & sweatshirt and go to the store while everyone is home with hangovers from their New Year parties. I was pet-sitting for 2 neighbors and didn’t leave my neighborhood.
Just a guess, I bet many will get sick in the coming weeks, and the News will blame on too many gatherings over the Holidays.
You sound like me my Friend, keeping to yourself, caring and loving the wildlife we have been given to watch and see how good-natured they are. Animals kill for survival. humans kill for sport. The only reason I would ever kill or have an animal put to rest is if there was absolutely no way they could survive and were in pain.
Karma~ I really don’t care for many people. So many are self-centered and feel such entitlement which is not the way I was taught and I am thankful for my Precious Father bringing me up that way.
I Loved my Mother as deeply as my Father just in a different way.
I feel my Father & I are kindred souls~
Have a Beautiful 1st day of the year my Friend and you are always in my thoughts.
Shookie~
January 1, 2023 at 5:46 pm #413036AnonymousGuestDear Shookie: I will read and reply Mon morning!
anita
January 2, 2023 at 8:14 am #413074AnonymousGuestDear Shookie:
Good morning, and thank you! “The meds. have all been given to my babies & one of the smallest Izzy is still scratching. I don’t understand with her weighing the least“- she has a biggest surface area per unit of weight… maybe it’s part of the reason.
“the price (for grooming) went up to $150 each“- a friend mentioned about this price being about what she pays for her little dog’s grooming every time.
“My Big Boy Stash is laying on my chest as I am writing & he looks so content“- the image of it makes me smile.
“I only go out when extremely necessary“- for fear of the new covid variant, you mean, as in a self-imposed lockdown?
“You sound like me my Friend, keeping to yourself, caring and loving the wildlife..“- thank you. On my walks now, particularly when I walk toward town, passing the highway, I take a plastic bag or two with me and pick up plastic trash and beer/ soda cans along the roads, it makes me feel good to do that and to see the difference it makes.
“I Loved my Mother as deeply as my Father just in a different way. I feel my Father & I are kindred souls“- this is so sweet, this love you have for your parents, and the special kindred-souls bond with your father!
anita
January 5, 2023 at 10:15 am #413244AnonymousGuestHow are you, Shookie, and how are your fur babies?
anita
January 5, 2023 at 6:08 pm #413267shookieParticipantHi My Friend,
It is 8:23 & I just got home from the car shop. I took it a few weeks ago to have a new battery installed & the oil changed and drove straight home. I used the key fob & pushed for the trunk to open & nothing and then pushed again to lock the doors & nothing except the pleasure of the alarm going off.
On the way home I had to drive 10 m.p.h. on the interstate with my hazard lights flashing and headlights flashing off every time I hit or went over a little bump in the road due to the transmission would not change gears and it was on 7rpm which could blow the transmission or motor. I pulled over & shut it off and noticed transmission oil leaking from the passengar side.
Finally, I made it home also my electrical system was showing low anti-freeze and no tail lights. I am safely home & all the parts have to be ordered~It will be 2 weeks until all parts will be in and I made an appointment.
The owner said it was going to take about 5 hrs. and did I want to drop it off and come back to pick the car up? I laughed and told him only if I could teach my cat how to drive by then.
Then I found out I have 3 closet lights out and 2 sockets that do not work. I won’t even begin to say what needs to be taken care of outside. Only a lot!!!
I took my Dalai Lama’s book of Wisdom to read while I waited and it was so interesting & as I was reading several things made me feel you were there enjoying the read with me.
The only thing I found out was Indians believe if you are burnt after death you remain in purgatory which I need to research more on that subject due to I want to be cremated. I have always detested basements and anything locked up in and put in the ground. I would rather be put in a pine box (absolutely “NO” autopsy. I do not want to be taken apart like a side of beef. I want to go like Robert Redford was buried in the movie “Out of Africa”.
I believe the flea issue has been taken care of with the exception of an overload on Stashe’s system. I will know in a day or two. Not much of a choice, It broke my heart every time I saw them scratching.
I’ll figure out where to start next in the morning. I am exhausted~
I purchased a movie called “White Nights” which has Mikhail Baryshnikov, Gregory Hines, and Helen Mirren which I think is so elegant. The dance scenes are incredible. I also watched an old interview with Mikhail which was so interesting.
I hope you had a pleasant day with your walk. How was the weather? It was 65 here today. Weather is forecasting a warm wet winter. I also don’t like humidity.
After reading this now I know why I am single…Too independent, picky, and too many people don’t understand me.
I hope you have a nice evening and wake up tomorrow happy with a smile~
Your Friend Shookie~
January 6, 2023 at 11:30 am #413298AnonymousGuestDear Shookie:
What a vehicular nightmare, no wonder you are exhausted (or were exhausted yesterday). I smiled when I read that you were reading the Dalai Lama book, feeling at times that I was there enjoying the read with you!
Cremation is what will be done with my body, as far as I know. I don’t think that anyone or anything will punish me for it by placing (…my ghost?) in a fictional purgatory.
I saw White Nights a long, long time ago… I just googled, it was a 1985 movie.. long time ago indeed. I remember that I very much enjoyed the dancing, but I remember nothing else about the movie. I just googled Mikhail Baryshnikov, and he is currently 74.
The walk yesterday was amazing: I experienced the strongest winds in my life, and I was almost blown away! Not windy today, not rainy either, much warmer than previous winters.
“I know why I am single.. Too independent, picky, and too many people don’t understand me“- what would you say is the biggest thing people don’t understand about you?
anita
January 6, 2023 at 12:30 pm #413302shookieParticipantHi My Friend,
I believe I have a good gut feeling about things which I should have listened to in life decisions. I believe & feel Cherokee beliefs & Values and also Buddhism totally are connected.
Many in my area are high rollers & go to church walk out and turn in to such a hypocrite. Many don’t understand how I can live alone & be independent. I don’t believe you go to dinner and invite a man into your home. I would always meet in a public place. I know within less than a minute if I will get along with someone. Men say things that repulse me and I call them out on it. That is why the 20yr. old was intrigued with me.
Maybe I will be alone forever. I am ok with my fur babies and myself.
Your Friens Shookie~
January 6, 2023 at 12:51 pm #413303AnonymousGuestDear My Friend Shookie:
“I believe & feel Cherokee beliefs & Values and also Buddhism totally are connected“- reads like a good combination of beliefs and values!
“I don’t believe you go to dinner and invite a man into your home. I would always meet in a public place“- good to read you stating just what I believe!
“I know within less than a minute if I will get along with someone“- I need more time.
“Men say things that repulse me and I call them out on it“- some time, if you have the time and desire, maybe you will give me a list of those generic repulsive things they say, and what you say in return..?
“Maybe I will be alone forever. I am ok with my fur babies and myself“- there are plenty of benefits to living alone, as long as you have your fur babies and some genuine human socializing somewhere, somehow.
anita
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