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Too Criticizing of Myself

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This topic contains 873 replies, has 20 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 796 through 810 (of 874 total)
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  • #122482

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:

    I vote (of your career choices) for any option that involves you not living with your parents or close to them because your parents fuel your inner bully. The Peace Corps choice will get you the farthest away from your parents, I think, so I like that one. If this fails, a Buddhist nun should get you far away from New Jersey as well, some place far, far away.

    A Nutritionist and a Personal Trainer go together like peas and carrots; a spiritual counselor- in your counseling office there should be a copy of the book you will publish one day, the one with all your poems and the drawings of angels and bridges crossed and the Buddha, from your dreams. The clients can buy such a book (have copies for sale in your office…)

    And you, and only you (as far as I know!) can put Science and Poetry together, as you have so many times, using scientific images and principles.

    Hmmm… I wonder. By the way, 19 days to the one year anniversary of your thread!

    anita

    #122536

    Shirley
    Participant

    thanks a lot anita. so i didn’ have time to 26 questions on my ap biology test b/c punnett squares for the first twelve took up a lot of time. i don’t think i did too well. but i will channel my energies to doing well on the ap calc quiz tomorrow and also the u.s history ii test. i’m working on staying positive even though my inner bully keeps sneaking its way in. i no longer listen to what it says. it has its times when it makes me feel insecure about myself, but i have found ways to disentangle from its threads. let this earth angel fly with her wings unbounded by the net of the inner bully! and if the inner bully tries to cast its net on me, my wings will slice that net into two. for no inner bully can hold this earth angel from the truth that lies in her heart! no matter what this earth angel will find her way home!

    #122542

    Shirley
    Participant

    also sometime near november 17, i got selected as “Most Memorable” for senior superlatives so i took a picture for the year book with my counterpart (the person who won the category with me) on december 1. i just got elected council of my Divine Essence coven on spellsofmagic.com. also i won the recording secretary for academic challenge in around october. i’m glad of these accomplishments. these are other reasons to tell my inner bully that what it says about me isn’t true.

    #122570

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shirley, (Most Memorable, Council of Divine Essence and Secretary for Academic Challenge) Earth Angel:

    Worth repeating:

    “Let this Earth Angel fly with her wings unbounded by the net of the inner bully!
    And if the inner bully tries to cast its net on me, my wings will slice that net into two!

    For no inner bully can hold this Earth Angel from the truth that lies in her heart!

    No matter what this earth angel will find her way home!”

    Beautiful (will fit in the Preface of your book-to-be-published)

    anita

    #122642

    Shirley
    Participant

    so i think i may need teacher-student tutoring for java b/c i’m falling behind and it’s hard to think with 16 students yelling at once. there are 18 students and two are quiet (me and another girl). i got an 81 on my ap calc test and also i think it’s just nerves that get me for ap calc and ap biology b/c i understand the material until i get to the test and i’m nervous. i understand the logic of ap biology better than i do for ap calc, science just tends to come naturally to me even though i still have to work hard, while for ap calc sometimes the logic is a bit fuzzy, but i’m working on it. as the chapters go on, it’s starting to make sense for both ap classes.

    #122650

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:

    One to one tutoring for java sounds right.

    Here is an improbable to happen idea: what IF you will be allowed to take a test in a separate room, alone and without a time limit? I heard it happens, that some students are allowed these kinds of accommodations. Because of being anxious… won’t hurt to ask the counselor?

    anita

    #122738

    Shirley
    Participant

    i think that would be a good idea, but i feel like that accommodation is usually granted to people who have disabilities or depression. i’m not so sure having anxiety is much of a reason. so i have 26 more test corrections to do for ap biology by friday. currently working on vocab cards for ch.17 on how genes turn on codes for proteins and it’s pretty straightforward. i find that i understand java somewhat and can come up with some of the computer codes, but i’m not the best at it, but it makes sense. during the times when the classmates are not that loud and i can think better, i tend to be able to get most of the codes started and ask the teacher to edit. i’m trying to think of a way to study for the ap calc midterm that’s coming up in january, i’m thinking of doing practice problems from the book again. also for ap biology’s midterm, i’ll probably review my notes and look up some diagrams in the book. the good thing is that i’m making progress with my inner bully and today i started the morning with the inner bully for fifteen minutes and throughout the day, it faded away and didn’t bother me at all. steve and andrew were quite fun and also made me laugh. i like having both of them around b/c the more i am laid-back, the less my inner bully shows.

    #122746

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:

    Steve and Andrew- nice to read their names again. The bully fading away is always good news! The more you are laid back, the less the inner bully shows. Keep yourself as laid back as much as you can, as often as you can, as well as choosing laid back people to associate with. I just wish you had laid back parents at home!

    Sixteen days to the One Year Anniversary of this thread. I am thinking of typing a kind of certificate looking recognition of you as the original poster of the longest by far thread in tiny buddha’s history. Would you like that? You can print it and keep it around as one of your accomplishments. If you’d like that, think of the wording you’d like, for me to consider, will you?

    Wish those java students weren’t loud. Like you, I have been sensitive to noise. Do your best to … experiment with having those voices fade away as you focus on the teacher’s voice… You can also ask the teacher if he or she can instruct the students to quiet down.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by  anita.
    #122795

    Shirley
    Participant

    andrew has taught me how to laugh more even when things are hard. he makes me smile when he cracks jokes while we are studying ap biology. i can’t wait to see the certificate for the anniversary of this thread. you could possibly say “Tribute to Earth Angel Shirley’s Life Story” “This is in honor of the many setbacks she faced and the way she overcame them with her scientific wit and poetic prowess.” also put the date and title of this forum as well as the anniversary date. i think i have been experimenting with hypnosis so when the students are loud, i imagine i’m in a bubble and that bubble is oblivious to the chatter of the students and only me and the teacher are in the bubble.

    #122798

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:

    I will use your wording for the certificate. I like Andrew’s affect on you. I also like the bubble image in java class. You are an expert on images!

    anita

    #122826

    Shirley
    Participant

    thanks a lot:) so i think i want to study chromosomes and figure out some of the stuff that science is still lacking. since little is known about bdelloid rotifers and archaea, i might do more research and find some new stuff. i found a microscope at a flea market and i am going to ask my ap biology teacher for some coverslips so i can look at organisms. either i do that for a career or i study cancer cells in humans. i think i’m more interested in studying the chemical molecules in humans and figuring out what makes us really us. a privet shrub also has 46 chromosomes like us, but why are we human? why do we read those genes while they read those genes? i want to figure some things out and maybe i’ll discover some cool things. there are some publishing places in brick, nj that i think would be cool to submit my poems to. there is one called Hibernian Publishing. i am going to search for the most decent price ones. also the company hibernian publishing sounds like hibernation which reminds me of why i like the winter so much. it’s a lot quieter in the winter and i get to wear my favorite sweaters. andrew made a fun comment in ap biology saying that “i’m like a cub in hibernation during the winter. i pull on my sweatshirts and feel comfy in my quiet little den of warmth as my mind uses the fuel to problem solve.” in a way andrew’s comment is quite accurate, i like the winter b/c it’s quiet and i can hibernate without much people around. my inner bully likes to rage when there are people around that i don’t know well b/c i feel they are judging me. also my ap calc teacher is great at explaining things, i understand the things he goes over and i find it quite fun. i like the challenge of doing complicated problems with formulas and following the steps. i enjoy the steps behind things and not the logic with it. if you give a few blocks of wood and asked me to construct a box, i wouldn’t be sure where to start b/c i don’t understand the logic on how to build the box. this often goes with logic word problems, once a push gets me started i understand it better. going back to the box analogy, if you give me a picture of the finished box with labels of numbers adjoining sides, i would be able to figure out how to arrange the pieces of wood into a box. speaking of boxes a former chapter in ap calc was optimization and it talked about making a box out of paper with the biggest volume. optimization problems also have to do with things you are trying to maximize or minimize such as distance traveling somewhere and the cost.

    i actually understand how to do a program to calculate interest for java, but i still don’t understand how to instantiate a class within a class and call the methods which is why i am still working on my bank account programs. i understand strings and i just recently learned about printf with formatted strings.

    i know how to use a for loop and while loops and counters. i’m making progress in java:D

    #122841

    anita
    Participant

    Dear (Hibernating) Shirley, Earth Angel:

    You plan on collecting samples at home or from the outside and looking at them at home, with your own microscope? I wonder what you will find and how those things you will find will end up in new poems…

    Imagining that people you don’t know are judging you is the inner bully’s work, you know, attacking you through strangers, not directly. But still, it is that bully. Remind yourself of that when you feel judged.

    Like you, I too like to be comfortable. I will choose comfortable clothes over pretty and uncomfortable clothes anytime. Very cold here tonight, but must be colder where you are. Hope you are warm and comfortable… and asleep by this time, soon to be … midnight. Yes, you should be asleep at this time. Good night, Earth Angel.

    anita

    #122910

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:

    There is an article in the Home Page, here on tiny Buddha called “9 ways to silence self criticism..” I read much of it. The writer writes about the “inner critic” which she calls “gremlin”- it is what you and I call …the Inner Bully. If you’d like, you can read it.

    anita

    #122914

    Shirley
    Participant

    i admire andrew’s confidence, he is always laughing and smiling even when things get tough. i like being around him. he knows how to make a situation more fun and also i find myself seeing the sunshine in many things lately even when seem tough. i will read it, it sounds interesting. i am currently in the middle of a book called “Letters to A Bullied Girl” by Olivia Gardner and in this book there are letters of support to Olivia Gardner who was bullied. they have inspiration and hope. i especially like the sections the book is split into such as “bullied by violence”, “Bullied for being different”, “Bullied for Looks(includes race, gender, etc.). some of the letters are very touching and i love this quote “they can’t kill your dreams, so they assassinate you character.” bullies don’t know your true self and dreams so they attack what they see on the outside, but no one can make you feel inferior unless you let them. there is another quote i like “be prepared to take control of your thoughts and your life. if no someone else will run them.” so you should take control of your own being and be confident or others will try to define who you are. “When people hurt you, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end you end up polished and they end up useless.” “You are only the victim if you define yourself as the victim. No one can tell you who you are without you accepting it. who are they to know what you think?”

    here is a cool one using the prevalence of sevens:
    7 colors make a rainbow
    7 chords make music
    7 days make a week
    7 continents make a world
    7 beautiful letters make us “FRIENDS”

    I may write a poem called Reborn Into My Soul and it will be about bullying and healing.

    #122928

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Shirley, Earth Angel:

    You find time to read, it is good to take a break from school subjects and read. This book is about bullies on the outside. There is that bully inside and there are bullies outside of us. Never is it a good plan to try to reason with a bully or to try to please a bully. Reasoning with a bully will never work and pleasing a bully will only encourage his/ her to bully MORE.

    Reborn Into My Soul about bullying and healing, looking forward to it.

    anita

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