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Too Criticizing of Myself

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  • #410135
    Janus
    Participant
    #410143
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Janus:

    Thank you for the link, I will open it and read tomorrow morning. I am curious about what it says!

    anita

    #410167
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Janus:

    One of the links is from The News Hour: I watch the News Hour every single night, that’s where I heard about what the other link you sent refers to as The Rainbow Wave (much, much… much preffered to the Red Wave!). I want to give more time to the third link about men and suicide (I’ll read more from it Wed morning).

    anita

    #410172
    Janus
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    The Rainbow Wave represents progress in the world for lgbtq rights and equity.

    Here’s a poem I wrote about trauma, healing and continuing to live

     

    no matter how much hurt you face, know that you can never be replaced. the world would be a different place without you. you’re one of a kind, no one could fill your shoes. even with the traumas you’ve been dealt, and the doubts that you’ve felt you’re worth more than you know. because the sadness you’ve faced has helped you grow. although it is never easy to heal, it’s important to allow yourself to feel. you’ve got this and friends alongside to help you when you feel like you’re sinking below the tide. when tears and heartbreak comes along, here for you to encourage you to stay strong. you’re worth so much and have much to give, so it’s important that you continue to live. the world is beautiful because you’re in it, so don’t quit. let go of things holding you back, and there’s nothing you lack. you may find, sometimes the doubts play tricks in your mind. And you question your worth and purpose but remember you’re always worth it. you don’t need to have all the answers, just give yourself a pat for making it this far and keep being who you are. because the world needs people like you to touch it with beauty and grace. so take it one step at a time without haste. healing little things, taking breaks, knowing i’ll be there when you are looking for someone who cares. if you ever feel lost in self, that’s okay friends will help chase the sadness away. And hold your heart as you heal and mend, reminding you that it’s never the end. you’ve got a beautiful story and opportunities ahead, so let go of fears and take the lead. you are more than enough and are loved and cherished for who you are and i know you’ll go far.

    #410173
    Janus
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    I feel like pets and animals are heartwarming 💙 they relieve stress and fill the heart with love. scientists on youtube tickled mice and they measured their brain waves with an eeg and they discovered that mice like humans when they laugh release endorphins that help relieve stress and pain. the first mouse in space named hector (who lived to be eight years old) helped scientists understand the long term impacts on bone structure of being space for astronauts. mice eat grains like honey nut cheerios, fruits like apples and bananas, and vegetables like carrots and lettuce much like people.  most mice live 1-2 yrs but some with good care and proper nutrition live 3-5 yrs. Some mice that have been genetically enhanced to slow aging in scientific studies can live up to four years or sometimes more. Scientists have discovered that mice are social animals, they like to have company and get depressed if they are alone. Being with other mice helps them develop social cues like grooming each other to show who the dominant mouse is or just to show that mouse likes the other mouse. Mice can sometimes tussle, standing on their hind paws facing each other and they try to knock each other down, whichever one gets pinned is the lesser one and the other is dominant,  it’s like mice wrestling 🐭

    Scientists have discovered that mice have a strong sense of smell and some have trained them in military to sniff bombs so they can be deactivated by military special units. Mice weigh smaller than the weight to trigger mine bombs so they can be used to help with sniffing out hidden bombs.

    Furthermore, mice have short term memory that is only about 2wks but they can remember sounds and words long term. Mice can remember the voice of people who talk to them frequently and they can react accordingly. If a person talks kindly and treats mice kindly the mouse will remember the person as a kind person and will happily squeak when they hear the person speaking. Since they have a good sense of smell too, mice can remember scents of people who gave them treats and they’ll be excited hoping for more treats. Mice are very smart and some can solve mazes.

    A mouse that is happy popcorns, hopping around swishing their tail lightly. They’ll have a series of squeaks that sounds like they are singing “squeak, squeak, pique, squeek”

    here is my mouse mochitea popcorning on the playground

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EoOPl-NbUEVwGdmlzY-UKs2GBOipPlZ5/view?usp=drivesdk

     

    #410189
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Janus:

    I  read the article, “The suicide gap: why men are more likely to kill themselves” (Aug 2017) and I just read the second of your two recent posts, about mice, and the book title Of Mice and Men came to my mind. Like mice and like other social animals, men too need social support: someone to be interested in how they feel and what they think, to ask questions gently, to listen, to not criticize men for feeling- and for expressing how they feel. Men need social support so that they do not experience social isolation and alienation. And so that men do not feel that the only thing people care about is that they fill in a role (most traditionally, that of a breadwinner), that no one cares about them otherwise.

    Your poem is the most beautiful poem of all the poems you shared here, on your thread. I think that you should send it to HeadsUpGuys (the website out of the University of British Columbia that focuses on men and  mental illness), as well as to SickNotWeak, BroTalk and maybe ManTherapy (these are mentioned in the article you sent me).

    “No matter how much hurt you face, know that you can never be replaced… Although it is never easy to heal, it’s important to allow yourself to feel. You’ve got this and friends alongside to help you when you feel like you’re sinking below the tide… You are more than enough and are loved and cherished for who you are, and I know you’ll go far”- it rhymes and is full of heart, it reveals your beautiful heart, Janus!

    anita

    #410261
    Janus
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    Of Mice and Men was quite sad 😔 Lenny Smalls had a big heart, he loved soft things because they gave him comfort. He wished he could touch soft things but he didn’t know how to take care of them so he ended up hurting them. Mice are small and Lenny Smalls name “Lenny Smalls” seems to signify that Lenny has a caring heart for small and soft things but he unintentionally hurts them. I feel like men need social support much like mice to help them with their mental health. Lenny probably felt small and isolated because everyone at the farm had more intelligence than he did.

    Mice form bonds with other mice and they’ll play, eat and snuggle together. A mouse that’s kept alone without someone to comfort them can become depressed. I feel like men who are supported and allowed to express their vulnerability, and build emotional support groups can improve their mental wellbeing too.

    Hugs friend, thanks for your kind words on my poem.

     

     

    #410263
    Janus
    Participant

    Rainbows after Storms poem

     

    While following the world, I lost my way

    Just drifting through the days

    Waiting for someone to understand the pain I was going through

    I waited so long, lost in despair, trying to find a way out, people left and I didn’t know what to do

    All my life, I was told to be strong and hold things together

    But I didn’t realize that feelings were fragile like a feather

    Beginning to fray at the seams and lost in broken hopes and dreams

    Walking down the broken lanes, trying to pick up the pieces, numbing things down not reaching for therapy

    Because people said “real men don’t cry”

    So I watched the walls I built crumble around me

    Until there was nothing left and then I began to see

    Lost in time, trapped in thoughts, no way out and no one seemed to understand the negative thoughts’ shouts

    Wrapped myself up, leaving things behind, just following the things in my mind

    Burying myself deep, worried I’d never find myself again

    Began to watch the sky for signs of life

    Praying for an end to this strife

    When all was lost and darkness surrounds

    The world’s support groups reached out and kept me from falling into the ground.

    Helping me heal and be better than I had been

    And each day I grow, and love myself a little more

    Your life isn’t a book, don’t end it

    There’s more chapters than this dark bit

    There’s rainbows after storms and the sun will come again

    Let yourself cry and listen to your heart

    And reach out whenever you feel like you’re falling apart

    Because people care

    And when you feel everyone seems to be leaving and no one’s left there

    That’s when you hold on and reach out to the world

    You were born to be a rainbow with your colors unfurled

    A rainbow after the storm lighting up the sky

    It’s never too late, so don’t give up, it’s never time for you to say goodbye

    The world you knew will come back

    And you’ll find your way through it all

    So when choosing to rise or fall

    Choose to rise because you were born to be a rainbow

    Your tears making kaleidoscopes shimmering through the raindrops

    A rainbow stretching across the sky, a rainbow of hope.

     

    #410262
    Janus
    Participant

    https://photos.app.goo.gl/PEbwRgxzG9qWWHn77

    mochitea and pringle are soulmates

    sometimes mice really connect with each other and there’s soulmates. they play together, rest together, exercise together and snuggle together. they look out for each other and happily squeak. if one of them loses the other then they’ll be sad.

    if i take mochitea out for a walk and don’t bring pringle (because pringle might be sleeping), mochitea gets upset and starts looking for pringle

    and pringle does the same when mochitea isn’t around

    A soulmate for people is a person that uplifts our soul helping us grow and heal. Mice have soulmates that teach them love and compassion and people do to.

    #410280
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Janus:

    You are welcome and hugs back to you! This Sunday morning, before I knew that you posted  last night and this morning, I read about the mass shooting of last night in a Colorado lgbtq club- believed to be a hate attack. Five people died and at least 12 or 18 were injured. I was saddened, and I thought about you.

    In your first post you talked about Lenny from Of Mice and Men. He liked soft things like mice and the woman’s hair, but he unintentionally killed mice and he killed the woman. It makes me think of so many parents hurting soft things: their own children… unintentionally and intentionally. We humans should think of each other (children and adults) as soft things and treat each other gently.

    I loved so much of your poem in your 2nd post, an excellent poem, written so well. You are truly gifted. There is just one thing that takes away from the excellence of your poems (I noticed this in past poems as well and I told you about it a long time ago), and that is that from one point on, within the poem, you repeat yourself, becoming verbose (this is my tendency too, in my writings). I am mentioning this because I don’t want the repetition and verbosity to take away from the great quality of your poems otherwise, particularly in regard to this poem which I think is the best you’ve ever written! (Maybe I think this about every one of your poems).

    All my life, I was told to be strong and hold things together, But I didn’t realize that feelings were fragile like a feather, Beginning to fray at the seams and lost in broken hopes and dreams“- so very well written, so much talent here. Feelings being fragile like a feather makes me think of the softness of mice and men (in the movie), and how indeed we should treat each other gently because our feelings are so soft, so vulnerable to hurt and injury.

    people said ‘real men don’t cry‘”- real men and real women don’t say that. We all have to free ourselves, and others with whom we interact, from this harmful binary gender message.

    Let yourself cry and listen to your heart, And reach out whenever you feel like you’re falling apart, Because people care“- I feel that this sentence, read by people in trouble, at just at the right time…  can literally save lives!

    anita

    #410473
    Janus
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    Many people are holding vigil over the lives impacted by the Colorado Springs shooting. It’s quite sad that there’s prejudice and discrimination in the world against lgbtq people. I feel like schools should do better to educate people about lgbtq people. Some topics about sexual orientation (heterosexual, homosexual, pansexual- attracted to all genders and sexes, asexual- capable of feeling romantic feelings for all genders and sexes but isn’t interested in having sexual intimacy) and gender identity might help too.

    I feel that people tend to hurt soft and kind people. The empaths and the compassionate souls often get hurt and negative feelings dumped on them. I agree that treating people kindly regardless of gender or sexual orientation or race is important in creating a more peaceful world.

    I was thinking about Jenny in Forrest Gump when I wrote about the feather being soft and delicate. Yet, feathers help a bird fly, and keeps them warm. Jenny was hurt by her father and very angry at him for hurting her and Forrest understood when he said “sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks ” when Jenny is through rocks at her childhood home because it reminds her of her father’s abuse. I feel sometimes that children are like feathers, soft and delicate but overtime they’ll build themselves up to become durable and strong to fly into the world. I like to think that when Jenny passed away at the end of the film and the feather that Forrest catches was Jenny in flight free from the hurts and anger. Parents and the world often unintentionally or intentionally hurt children and it can be hard for them to grow up with self-confidence.

    People do need to free themselves to think with compassion on people and treat them fairly. Listening to people’s hurts and letting them cry including allowing men to express their emotions can be helpful. Society tends to push people who are soft and sensitive down but those with empathy and compassion provide emotional awareness to hurts and they can heal.

    Going back to Forrest telling Jenny “sometimes there aren’t enough rocks” I feel like people do feel anger at the people they feel wronged them. Sometimes not having a healthy outlet for anger can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms that cause more mental health effects like depression and anxiety.

    I do feel like I sometimes repeat things in my poems trying to get a chorus to make it seem more like lyrical poetry. But sometimes the repeats might take away from the other lines of the poem like you mentioned. Thanks for your insightful advice.

    #410474
    Janus
    Participant

    *** typo fix ***I was thinking about Jenny in Forrest Gump when I wrote about the feather being soft and delicate. Yet, feathers help a bird fly, and keeps them warm. Jenny was hurt by her father and very angry at him for hurting her and Forrest understood when he said “sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks ” when Jenny is “throwing” rocks at her childhood home because it reminds her of her father’s abuse

    #410497
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Janus:

    About prejudice and discrimination: we should all look at where and in what ways- however small- we are prejudiced and discriminatory and correct those behaviors.

    I remember very well the scene you reminded me of, from the movie Forrest Gump, when he says: “Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks“. I like the understanding that you added: “People do feel anger at the people they feel wronged them.. not having a healthy outlet for anger can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms that cause more mental health effects like depression and anxiety“.

    I like to think that when Jenny passed away at the end of the film and the feather that Forrest catches was Jenny in flight free from the hurts and anger“- I like this interpretation very much, it is very moving.

    I feel like schools should do better to educate people about lgbtq people. Some topics about sexual orientation..”- if you were entrusted with preparing an introductory lesson plan on the topic of sexual orientation, what would the lesson plan include and in what grades will it be taught?

    anita

     

    #410669
    anita
    Participant

    Happy Thanksgiving, Janus!

    anita

    #410916
    Janus
    Participant

    hope that you had a great thanksgiving, blessings anita

Viewing 15 posts - 1,336 through 1,350 (of 1,354 total)

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