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What should my friend do?

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Michelle 4 weeks, 1 day ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #313263

    Lisa
    Participant

    Before anyone starts with it’s none of my business my friend asked me for my opinion. I didn’t know too much of what to say so I said I will see who advice matches with mine. I think she should stay.

    My best friend have a perfect marriage.Her and her husband bee married for 10 yrs. Just 3 yrs ago they brought a nice big house in the country newly built.
    She feels now because they have been married so long they are getting tired of each other.
    She even said that he have been secretly talking to an old love from the 90’s.My advice to her is that he is bored and he just chatting with her just for fun nothing big.She learned he had 2 mistresses where he lives at in there area. I don’t think she should give up.The old time love he is speaking to her on a regular basis whether 3 days go by or not they talk , chat all day long.They even went to the island together for a wedding and he was still texting this old lover. Again he took her to the wedding not the lover. He was sending her photos and everything.When they got back from the island still text the woman she found out. He says they are just friends from back in the day. I don’t think it’s a big deal. She should stay.

    Opinions

    #313397

    Grenada
    Participant

    I do think that’s a pretty big deal that he’s talking to other women on the side and sending pictures while he’s married . Bored or not, those things need to be worked through .

    thats not something for her to internalize as her fault because he’s bored. But they do need to talk about some boundaries and expectations .

    #313423

    Lisa
    Participant

    I agree. According to her it’s done throughout the day

    #313439

    Valora
    Participant

    Did I read that right that he had 2 mistresses? Like was he having a physical relationship with them and has that ended too or did they ever talk about it?  It seems like they have some issues that need to be worked out.

    And I think it’s okay to catch up with exes here and there, but all-day, every-day conversations sounds like a bit much. If not a physical affair, it definitely sounds like an emotional one, and that’s not right either.  There is something missing for him in their relationship that they need to probably talk about and figure out so that they are able to find what they need in each other rather than in other people.

    #313525

    Lisa
    Participant

    Yea it may be emotional. From what he’s telling her they talk on a regular and he’s giving her advice.He doesn’t like the guy she talking about to him.This is how he gets away with it but I felt it was innocent.

    He gives her brotherly advice tells other woman dump other guy nothing good coming out of it.My friend just sits and listens I guess it’s the fact the had sex few yrs ago and known each other 30 yrs.I guess they’re true friends

    #313549

    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Lisa,

    I can’t get over the two mistresses. And he and the other woman had sex a few years ago? While he was married??

    This is not what a marriage looks like. I say she should divorce him. Hey! At least that will cure his boredom!

    Best,

    Inky

     

    #313627

    Valora
    Participant

    He slept with this same woman while he was married to your friend? That’s just plain infidelity and definitely makes his texts to this same woman not so innocent. It’s likely he doesn’t like the guy this girl is talking about because he doesn’t want her to be with anyone other than him. I think your friend should leave and find someone who appreciates her enough to be faithful and loyal to her and who will not cross these boundaries with other women.

    #313777

    Michelle
    Participant

    I”m curious why you think she should stay??  Although you call it a ‘perfect marriage’s it clearly isn’t.

    Big houses and a history count for nothing if you aren’t happy and it doesn’t sound like your friend is happy with the situation, unsurprisingly.

     

    I’d suggest being more supportive when you listen to her, she’s probably scared of making such a big change and standing up for her self. Doesn’t have to mean leaving but she really does need your help for the strength to repair this relationship, if the guy is even interested in doing so.

     

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