Hello & happy summer to you Big Blue!

What an excellent question you have posed!!! I’ve been mulling it over and can only speak for myself, but the 8 scenarios I listed below are when I think the sperm should recognize that there are other eggs in the ovary and quit chasing the one in question.

You know you should give up the chase when:
1. If you’ve met online and you’re getting to know one another, she sends back short replies that give you nothing to work with.
2. She friend-zones you by telling you that you’re such a nice guy and the woman that gets you is a lucky one.
3. If you’ve established a cadence of communication and it drastically changes.
4. You don’t receive a reply to a text, email or phone call within 24 hours…if she’s really into you but super busy, she’ll at least reply telling you she’s busy and let you know when she can reply properly.
5. She doesn’t show appreciation for niceties such as having a door opened for her.
6. She isn’t willing to reciprocate spending money on you…if you’ve bought dinner and the two of you decide to get coffee, if she’s really into you, she’ll want to buy.
7. She makes it unrealistically difficult to chase her by putting up walls. If you find that you are asking yourself, “What am I doing wrong??”, chances are it isn’t you…it’s her.
8. You are left wondering if she likes you after more than a month of consistent communication or dating.

To me, #s 4 & 5 are just common courtesies that either sex should extend to one another throughout a relationship. If they don’t, I consider their behavior just plain rude.

I hope this helps Big Blue…take care!

danaken

Big Blue,

Your format is a challenge!

1) The sperm always chases the egg, its by design. Consider instead not releasing the sperm until you’re in the bedroom. Not getting so ensnared by her charms that it produces agitation, chasing, yearning, wishing. Save the investment, in that way, until you’re both ready, open. Then its “what do we wish to grow?”

2) Connecting with her heart is more about listening than chasing. When we listen, aiming is easy, doesn’t feel like a chase. More like following heartfelt inspiration, with the hope, but not expectation, of it being received well, as intended, with that smile as a reward.

3) Consider a tit for tat strategy. If you communicate, and she doesn’t, wait. Let it be an exchange, don’t press. If her heart is in tune with yours, she’ll want to respond, offer her side back. Maybe a couple attempts initially, so you can be confident you’ve tried your best to share your desire to know her better, share a dance… but not habitually. If she doesn’t respond or plays hard to get? Move on, who needs games? Intimacy is tricky enough.

With warmth,
Matt

1. If the sperm is not a good match for the egg.
2. If the sperm reaches out to the egg but does not hear back.
3. If the egg is occupied with another sperm.

Though it doesn’t have to be male=sperm, female=egg. It is so ingrained in our culture (and likely our evolution?) that the man pursues the woman, makes the first move. I’m fine with this and will make the first move, but starting with that move it must be a back and forth (tit for tat as mentioned above) going forward. I picture a tennis match where I hit the ball of interest onto her side of the court. Will she respond? How will she respond? When will she respond? Very fun and intriguing. But I am not hitting another ball over to her. Got to wait until she hits the first one back over to me (if it returns at all). And by tennis match I mean a back and forth partnership, not a competition. A respectful connection which may lead to friendship and/or more. Or nothing at all. Overall, I try to keep expectations low and respect high.