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Posts by Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.

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Tiny Wisdom: Why We Harshly Label People

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“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung

The other day someone I love, who we’ll call Tania, got in a massive fight with her boyfriend. She called me to explain the situation, and ultimately got frustrated because I wouldn’t agree that he was not only wrong, but also a jerk.

The next day, she and I had a disagreement that ended with her yelling at me. When I discussed this with someone else who loves us both but frequently clashes with Tania (not my finest decision), she quickly turned on …

Tiny Wisdom: All the Fun You Missed

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“Don’t let the past hold you back; you’re missing the good stuff.” -Unknown

There have been times when I’ve regretted that I missed out on so much when I was younger.

Because I held onto pain so tightly, I missed out on countless opportunities for fun while sitting alone and feeling bad for myself.

Because I felt so insecure for so long, I missed out on the chance to make strong friendships while shutting down and assuming people would hurt me.

And because I was afraid of failing, I missed out on all kinds of professional opportunities while doing what …

Tiny Wisdom: The Ideal Time to Appreciate Each Other

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“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” -Michelle C. Ustaszeski

Familiarity can sometimes seem like permanence. Oftentimes the more comfortable we are with someone, the less effort we put into our time with them.

As I’ve mentioned before, I visit my family on the east coast several times each year for two weeks at a time. Every time I leave California, it’s bittersweet because I’m leaving my boyfriend Ehren to go see people I love.

And every time I leave Massachusetts, I’m leaving my family for even longer to resume my life with …

Giveaway and Interview: Meditation – The Complete Guide

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Note: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

Growing up, I was a black-and-white thinker—it was always all or nothing. This way of being rarely served me well when it came to healthy habits, because the little things really do all add up; and usually, something is better than nothing.

This is what I most appreciated about Patricia Monaghan’s book, Meditation – The Complete Guide (recently revised and celebrating its 10th anniversary). It’s not a book that …

Tiny Wisdom: Little Everyday Challenges

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“Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.” –Winston Churchill

Have you ever purposely chosen to do something you felt resistant to doing? I do this occasionally because I recognize I sometimes limit myself by being inflexible.

I can be a creature of habit, particularly when it comes to situations that make me feel in control.

For example, I have one specific spot where I like to sit when I work in the Starbucks near my apartment. It’s right by the window and sufficiently removed from the chaos of the line.

It’s the best lit spot, and it’s both …

Tiny Wisdom: We Can Choose Right Now

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“You are your choices.” -Seneca

It sounds like such a cliché to say that most of what we’re seeking is already within us, but nonetheless, it’s true.

Happiness doesn’t only exist in some perfect tomorrow when our circumstances look ideal. It’s a moment-to-moment choice that has to do with how we perceive and respond to what’s in front of us. We can choose happiness right now.

Peace doesn’t only exist in some time without obstacles or troubles. It’s something we can feel by accepting what is, doing our best, and believing that’s good enough. We can choose peace right now.…

Tiny Wisdom: How Far We’ve Come

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“Always concentrate on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have left to go.” -Unknown

Though I write a lot about mindfulness, focusing on here and now, I think there’s something empowering about looking back and realizing how far we’ve come. I’m not just talking about our big accomplishments. I’m referring to the many tiny personal victories we often achieve without taking time to honor them.

The other day, after I arrived at my local coffee shop to work, my computer died. No battery, no power from the cord, no explanation—and no backed up files.

I have an …

Tiny Wisdom: Authentic Connections in a Networked World

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“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.” -Herman Melville

We spend so much time trying to improve ourselves and our lives. Is it possible that maybe we could accomplish those things more effectively if we focused on improving the quality of our relationships?

This is the question I posed when I spoke at the Wanderlust Yoga and Music Festival this past summer.

I just received the link to my presentation, Authentic Connections in a Networked World, and I’m excited to share it with you! It’s roughly 20 minutes long, with 10 minutes …

Tiny Wisdom: The Success You Actually Want

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“Try not to become a man of success but rather a man of value.” –Albert Einstein

As I was getting my coffee the other morning, I thought about this article I once read on a popular news site about a man who lost his big corporate job and accepted a barista position at Starbucks.

When he decided to don a green apron, he’d lost everything in life—including his marriage, his livelihood, and his health. Through his experience in the hospitality industry, he gained a sense of humility and peace, away from the hectic world of professional ambition.

When I read …

Book Giveaway and Interview with Rick Hanson: Develop a Buddha Brain

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

I read a lot of books about mindfulness; this was by far one of my favorites. In his book Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time, Rick Hanson offers practical, daily practices, backed by the latest in brain research, to help us avoid stress, improve our mood, enjoy life more fully, and develop emotional resilience.

This is not merely a book …

9 Reasons to Order the Tiny Buddha Book: Last Day for Bonus Items!

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UPDATE: Please note the pre-order promotion for the Peace and Purpose Bonus Pack has now expired now that the book is officially available for purchase.

As you may have noticed from the various ads, tweets, and Facebook updates, I’ve been running a promotional campaign over the past month leading up to today—the official on-sale date for my first book Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me! It’s my first book, and there have been lots of lessons and surprises along the way. For example…

Originally I understood that …

Tiny Wisdom: Let Go

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“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” -Ajahn Chah

It’s hard to feel peaceful if you dwell on why you should be angry. If you want to feel free, let the story go.

It’s hard to feel good if you feel like you deserve to feel bad. If you want to feel happy, let your self-judgment go.

It’s hard to feel satisfied if you feel like everything needs to be perfect. If you want to feel content, let your perfectionism go.

It’s …

Tiny Wisdom: The Gains in Our Losses

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“If you learn from a loss you have not lost.” –Austin O’Malley

Earlier this year I spent dozens of hours and nearly $1,000 on a new feature for this site. Due to some misunderstandings between me, the programmer, and the designer, things didn’t turn out quite how I intended.

Ultimately, I decided to cut my losses and focus my attention somewhere else. I knew I might revisit this feature down the road, but that would require more time and money, and at first that bothered me.

I finance the site independently, and I’m not rolling in cash, so it felt …

Tiny Wisdom: Moving Forward After a Mistake

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“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” -James Joyce

When you were little, did you ever rip up a picture you’d worked really hard on just because you colored a little out of the lines?

I was that girl; and I had a similar experience this weekend.

I decided to make lasagna for this potluck party my boyfriend and I were going to host. I don’t cook often, so this felt like a big deal. I got all the ingredients the night before, stacked them on the counter, and then admired them. They were the pieces of my saucy …

Tiny Buddha Twitter Party with Jonathan Fields and Gabrielle Bernstein

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If I lived in a massive house and owned numerous private jets, I would personally fly all of you out to Los Angeles for a party to celebrate the launch of my first book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

But since I only have a $10, a fortune from a cookie, and a button in my wallet, I hope you’ll join me for a Twitter party instead!

What Is the Tiny Buddha Twitter Party?

This Thursday, December 8th at 9:00 PM EST/6:00 PST, my friend Karl of Party Biz Connect will host a one-hour teleseminar …

Tiny Wisdom: The Beauty of Starting Over

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“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” -Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday I spent more than an hour writing something I intended to publish today—and then I lost it. Since I hadn’t slept much the night before, I wasn’t completely attentive and somehow, I must have closed out the Word document before I titled or saved it.

That same exhaustion made it somewhat difficult to communicate my thoughts clearly when writing. But I did—after an hour, I’d expressed everything I wanted to share. Then it was gone.

Initially, I considered rewriting the post, and trying to remember exactly what I’d written …

Tiny Wisdom: Do You Believe?

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“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” –James Allen

Do you believe you can do work you love? If you don’t believe it, you likely won’t try for it.

Do you believe you can be in a happy relationship? If you don’t believe, you likely won’t open up to it.

Do you believe you can adopt that healthier habit? If you don’t believe it, you likely won’t stick to it.

Do you believe you can fully release your anger toward that person who hurt you? If you don’t believe it, you …

Tiny Wisdom: Time to Enjoy

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“Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.” -Unknown

The other morning I hopped out of bed and made a beeline for the laundry room. Although it contains numerous washers and dryers, unlike the room at my old apartment complex, far more people use it.

This means I might as well camp out in from of the building a la Black Friday if I hope to get my clothes in at some point in the AM. That morning, as luck would have it, two of the washers were still empty three seconds after the …

Interview and Book Giveaway: Epiphany by Elise Ballard

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Note: This winners for this giveaway have been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

In my experience, meaningful transformation always starts with some type of epiphany—a realization that suddenly puts life in a new perspective and informs what you need to do from this point forward.

I’ve always been fascinated by these moments, when something suddenly makes sense in a way it didn’t before and change seems much more possible.

With this in mind, I was thrilled to receive a copy of Elise Ballard’s …

Tiny Wisdom: 3 Truths for Purpose and Success

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“Great acts are made up of small deeds.” -Lao Tzu

“‘Tiny’ is the new big. I’ve seen this phrase used in context with iPods, cell phones, purses, cars, businesses, and even houses. It might not be a phrase you’d think to apply to purpose and success, but I’ve found that the smallest of things can sometimes have the most power. Today I’d like to share with you a little of my journey to Tiny Buddha, as well as three tiny truths for a meaningful, successful life.”

And thus began my presentation for Bonfire Heights in September. I’ve been waiting to …