Thank you, Neil. I hope that you have a great weekend too!

🙏 🌿 Anita

Dear Tom:

Reading your most recent post made me think of something I read long ago, don’t remember where. Paraphrased, someone asked: How do I get out of this prison cell? (it’s similar to you feeling/ being trapped), and the answer was: don’t try to get out, or don’t desire to get out anymore.

What it means to me is that when you are in a situation where you really are trapped, objectively speaking (having to pay mortgage and bills, and this job is the only job available that makes it possible for the mortgage and bills to be paid), then radically accepting the situation, for now, to no longer resist it, may free you from useless, harmful stress.

Does this make sense to you?

🌿 Anita

Dear Going Through Life:

I hope that soon, going through life will be a more rewarding experience for you, and it will, with better understanding and more awareness (more of these two things is making my life more rewarding 😊)

In regard to SS, we talked about her back in June 2024. We also talked about the fearful- avoidant attachment style.

I know this attachment style personally. For me, it started with a parent who “loved” me at times and deeply hurt me at other times. So, I learned to associate love (affection, emotional closeness) with pain.

Anything like that, in your experience?

🌿 Anita

Hi again Q:

From my personal experience, it didn’t feel good or rewarding for me to.. love myself because I didn’t feel that I deserved love. I was waiting until such time that I’d be worthy of love..

🌿 Anita

You are welcome, and thank you 🕊️☘️🌈

Dear Jana:

Like I expressed a short while ago, in my first post in the forums today, I am moving on from any and all conflict in the forums. I am taking in all that I learned recently and my intent is to put it into practice today and every day that follows.

I don’t want to revisit history of conflicts, not here and not on email.

Having said that, I want to encourage you to express yourself here in the forums, to be more active- if it suits you, to make your voice heard. I don’t own this space (the tiny buddha forums) any more than you do. This is a shared space and all are welcome.

Does this, what I wrote here, reads reasonable to you?

🌿 Anita

Thank you for the note, Tee. I am looking forward to reading more from you ❤️

Alessa, I hear you. Safe, Brave and Kind ❤️

On the topic of quoting members, sometimes I will quote a member so to ask for clarification, such as in writing to a member: I didn’t understand what you meant here (Quote), can you explain it to me?

Or when I am so positively impressed with what a person said, I may quote him or her, such as in writing: What you wrote here (Quote) was said perfectly. It resonates so much because in my experience…

There may be other positive reasons for me to quote a member, a reason or reasons that aren’t occurring to me right now, but overall, in my replies- there will be far fewer quoting and none that is likely to create or promote conflict, definitely none that could come across as public shaming.

I will add this one point: sometimes, people will feel offended reading something that’s the farthest from being offensive. Like what I wrote so far in this point- nothing offensive about it, but someone out there reading this post may find it offensive.

I was one of the people who detected offense where there was none (in yours and Tee’s posts in the beginning of the conflict) and I will do my best to pay attention and reflect before reacting to perceived offense, to ask myself: was there real offense, or do I feel offended because something old got triggered within me.

I read about your PTSD and you getting hyper focused because of your Autism, so I am willing to completely let go and move on from any and all past conflicts and create and promote a Safe, Brave and Kind atmosphere in every space I participate in, in real-life and here.

You asked how I’m doing: exhausted, ready to continue to put all that I learned recently into practice and move on.

I wouldn’t want you to leave the forums, Alessa ❤️, nor would I want anyone else to leave. I would like more and more people to participate, all are welcome.

🌿 Anita