Good 🌄 Confused:

Yes, I remember you shared before that you never or almost never feel 😡- why do you think that is?

Mostly disconnected and numb sucks. I wish you mostly felt connected and alive- not all the time and not in an intensity that is unsustainable, bur.. reasonably connected and alive.

🙂 😞 😡 😃 😉 😢 ☹️ 😭 😔 😊 Anita

Good morning, Peter!

Thank you 🙂. I appreciate the way you reflected the movement in what I shared. It helped me feel seen in a simple, grounded way. I’m glad my walking and finding my footing came through clearly to you.

🚶‍♀️ Anita

Hi Peter:

Someone painted 🎨 abuse and hate on my mother’s canvas. She then painted abuse and hate on mine and I had a lot of work to do to remove enough of the nasty painting off my canvas enough to see what’s been hidden.

Love/ genuine connections within and with other people (including with Bogart the beagle 🐕) was ✂️ off by said painting.. well, not fully cut off, more like the love-connection hung loosely off the canvas, hanging on a thin thread, trying to hold on.

“The love we were trying to achieve was actually the ground we were standing on all along”-

I just had an image of my mother kicking me, so I fell.

And I just remembered the poem I wrote as an older teenager (or in my very early 20s). I shared about it with you, Peter, but now I remember more:

In the poem I was lying on the ground, crawling, asking or begging passerbyes to give me a hand and help me up, help me so that I can stand and walk on my legs.

Huh.. so, no, I was not standing on the ground all along.

I suppose the work was more about standing on the ground that was there all along than realizing it was always there, as in changing my position to the ground- from crawling to walking.

Funny perhaps, I am known in the area were I live as “the walker”. I walked 4+ miles today ( with Bogart). I walk every day.

🚶‍♀️ Anita

Hi again, Miss L Dutchess:

You shared before about feeling lonely, about not connecting with (much older) people you work with and wishing you had close friends and having only a few friends and far in between 😞

Why do you think that’s the case (I don’t remember if you shared about it)?

It so happens that I was very lonely most of my life. One reason why I had only a few friends and not for long, was that I was suspicious and distrustful of people. I also easily got angry at people (I suppose the distrust and anger go together).

I don’t remember if you shared before about wishing to have a long-term boyfriend?

Regarding the question in the title of this thread, a simple way to answer is this:

Karma isn’t a punishment system. It doesn’t operate like a cosmic police force handing out tickets. It’s about the natural consequences of our behaviors and outcomes of how we live.

Unkind people often look like they’re getting away with things because consequences can be slow and internal. Someone can appear successful or untouched on the outside while living with chronic conflict, shallow relationships, and distrust.

Some outcomes are visible. Some are not. But no one escapes consequences of their own behavior.

I would very much like to hear your thoughts about all of this.

🌟🍃⭐🌿Anita

Good 🌄 Peter:

I read your message much earlier this morning and gave it time to sink in.

Sustaining the reality of love: being present (vs absent in the ways of analysis, comparisons, measurements, expectations, labels, definitions, judgments, fears, smokes and mirrors).

To stay with and find comfort in the silent (blank) canvas- not rushing to fill it in with noise (paintings)

“Returning to the love that was our origin all along.”- this speaks to me so.. silently loud!

Right there, in those 10 words is everything!

✨️✨️✨️ Ani-natta

Thank you for the answer, Miss L Dutchess 🙂 Now I know, LOL

Well, seems to me that you did a good job confronting him. Problem is a whole lot of people, when confronted, become defensive and retaliate when confronted, no matter how wrong their initial behavior has been.

So, part of confronting a person is to do so in a calm way, using as neutral language as possible (while still delivering the message you have in mind) and then expect some defensiveness, expecting the confronted person to reject your message or get upset with you, or sadly, become somewhat punitive like your mother.

Talking about mothers, mine was punitive as well and I too- as an adult- feared confronting people. So, I kept things inside, angry, and sometimes I would over confront. And I found out that other people in my life were not even close to how punitive my mother has been, so my fear was more than what reality proved to be with other people.

Does any of this resonate?

Good 🌄 Confused:

It ocurred to me earlier this morning that since your analyzing mind habitually goes into overdrive when it comes to analyzing your feelings-

that if you shift the topic of your analysis from your feelings to something else (let’s say joining a chess club where analysis is a big part of the game), it may help.

🤔 Anita