Good Morning, Zenith: I changed my mind.. please disregard the Goodby 😊

Would you like me to have an email address of yours where we can continue to communicate, Zenith?

Anita

I know anxiety all too well and I know fear of people, but I am discovering my own fierceness. I am discovering what it means and how to make it work for me (and for others).. And so can you. It takes learning, beginning in “small” ways. I put small in quotations because whenever you assert yourself just right.. there’s nothing small about it.

If you want, we can practice: you be you and I’ll play the part of your manager.. or co-sister or mil.

(I have to leave soon and be back to the computer tonight).

Anita

She got it from you! The Fierceness is within you, I noticed it from the time we first started talking 🔥

It takes courage. But think about it: what’s the worst that can happen if you decide how you respond to co-sister? You’ll have to sleep on a small bed all by yourself when you’re there. lol.. Better that or some sign of others’ disapproval than a heavy, angry (understandably) mind and heart!

“Why I should I treat her with more respect if I don’t get the same respect back?”- this question is easy to answer: you can’t control how your mil treats your co-sister, but you can control how you treat the co-sister.

Your mil has the right to respond to the co-sister as she wishes; she has no right to control your responses to the co-sister.

No More Unfair Control, says I!

Oh, yes, I remember now. In my response earlier today I completely forgot the respect for elders cultural nuance. I am sorry for the confusion, Zenith.

Integrating this nuance now, I’d say: if this is the cultural norm, then it’s not personal. Whether you accept this part of the culture or fight it- that’s your personal choice (I know you are a rebel in this regard).

If I was you, while in India (as long as the room I am given is uncomfortably small), I would accept the situation.. But when they all visit me.. guess who gets the small room.. lol.

Anita

Hi Laven:

The foster system failed you and so did the schools you attended.. and your foster mom and.. so many others 😢

The term ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) refers to a potentially traumatic event that occurs during childhood (ages 0–17). An experience that can have lasting effects on a person’s physical, emotional, and relational health well into adulthood.

Common types of ACEs include: Abuse (Physical, emotional, or sexual), Neglect (Emotional or physical), Parental separation or divorce, Substance abuse in the home, Mental illness in a caregiver, Domestic violence, and Incarceration of a household member.

These experiences can disrupt a child’s sense of safety, stability, and bonding, and are linked to long-term health outcomes like depression, anxiety, chronic illness, and relational difficulties.

In my case I experienced all of the above types of ACEs, at one point or another, except for Substance abuse in the home and Incarceration of a household member.

Clearly, Laven, you suffered from multiple ACEs as well.

If magic was real, I would go back in time and rescue little girl Laven and take her to a place where she’d be loved and cared for- every day, consistently. I would do that for every abused, unfortunate child.

🤍 Anita