This society we live in .. is very body conscious. But, this doesn’t mean you need to go thru surgery to look nice. One does the best they can and hope for the best they can. Accepting oneself is the first step to finding the right person. When one is comfortable in one own skin then other will sense that and be comfortable hanging. Be open to love and hopefully love will come. Of course do not be shy. Present oneself and ones feelings. Good luck.

Whether anyone will find the right person for them is a battle of odds. Sometimes one gets lucky and sometimes one doesn’t. But, one should always try. Someone said, it is better to love and lost than to never have love at all.

Lost in one’s thoughts and setting up rules, as others who will not become to be called friends. No wisdom and no compassion. But acts as one who knows. This is the monkey mind tending to its own needs and protecting it realm. Buddha asked if one has seen the infirmed, sick and old. And does one realize that one will become as such. That there is presently no escape from getting old and dying. Life is suffering. It happens again and again. The cause of suffering is the clinging, attachment to this material state. There is a path to liberation.

So what does a person want when they ask the question of what is positive to you? And does not listen to the answers? Then, states that he does not like when people act fake? Sounds like a person trying to polish a roof tile into a mirror. It is not possible to make something with what one has. But, this is my own opinion.

As being positive, to me, means that one proceeds in doing right or proceeds in acting in good faith regardless of what one believes the outcome to be. Now having an attitude of good cheer or depression or sadness … that is more of how one feels about one’s life and its predicaments.

Note: Being rude or being honest??

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.

A person wants stuff. When he doesn’t get it, he suffers. If he gets it then the satisfaction doesn’t last long. It becomes what is the next thing that will make him happy. This is the pattern. And, when a person has these thoughts for years, it build momentum. It develops deep roots and seems to take over. The first noble truth, life is suffering. What is the truth about suffering? And can one escape or become free from suffering? What is the path to liberation?

Being polite and being genuine are not opposites. And being positive is not thinking everything will go the way you want it to. Being positive is doing what you think is right regardless of what you believe the outcome will be. Being positive is doing. Not thinking or believing or wishing. Stop judging people and accept there are all different kinds of people in the world. That was my two cents. Sorry that it does not mesh with your views.

Zen monks who travelled the land would often stop at Zen Buddhist temples looking for a place for the night. At times, there would be a sort of Zen Dual. If the travelling monk could defeat the temple representative in a silent battle of Buddhist thoughts or understanding then they would be allowed to stay. One day, there was a travelling monk looking for a place to stay for the night.  The Abbot, who was very busy at the time, assign his pupil to go greet the monk. His pupil was a rather large fellow who only had one eye after losing the other eye in a childhood accident. So, he goes to the entry way and greets the travelling monk. The Monk bows and then puts up one finger. The abbot’s pupil bows and puts up two fingers. The travelling monk then bows and walks away. The Abbot sees the travelling monk and asked him what had happened. The monk said that he put up one finger to show the we are one with the world. Then the abbot’s student put up two fingers to show the duality that we all live under. Therefore, after having loss, the travelling monk was leaving. A little later, the Abbot saw his student and asked him what had happened. The student replied that the monk was very rude. He held up one finger to show me that I had only one eye. So, I held up two fingers to congratulate him on having two eyes. Then he turns and runs away. If I find him I will beat him up. The Abbot just smiles.

It is easy to misunderstand people cause we are into what we believe is going on. The truth is sometimes a little harder to see. I wish you happiness in your journey.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Tommy.

Dear Anita,

I apologize because you do so much here to try to help people. And, I can not even answer your post correctly.

Tommy

Zen master Hakuin lived in a village and was well respected for his teachings. Then, one day, loud voices are heard from the neighbor’s house. The parents found out their daughter was pregnant. They wanted to know who the father was and kept asking her. She responded by saying the father was master Hakuin. When the daughter had the baby, the parents brought the baby to master Hakuin and said that he must take care of the baby since he was the father. Master Hakuin responded, “Is that so?” The master’s reputation fell. Still, Hakuin took very good care of the baby. After a year, the daughter could no longer hold her tongue. She finally told the truth and said the real father of the baby was the boy in the fish market. The family went to Master Hakuin and apologized and asked for the baby. Master Hakuin said, “Is that so?” and handed the baby over to them.

Dwelling upon the way one wants things to be and it doesn’t turn out that way … it is called suffering. Acting with wisdom and compassion … that is where I see happiness. I wish you happiness.

Anita,

Sorry. May be something I read long time ago?

Personally, still on this journey.

Still practicing, meditating. Still learning.

Tommy

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Tommy.