Love is a beautiful thing. Having had a first love then you know it cuts the deepest. The second love is wonderful. But, you have this feeling of possibly being alone again. So, you go forward cautiously. Nagging doubts. Conflicting feelings and thoughts that follows those feelings. It would have been wonderful to meet the right person the first time. But, nothing is perfect.

Why can’t you talk honestly about your feelings and get honest response from your partner in this merry-go-round? It is good to be able to feel love. But better to share it. You might need to let him know you were hurt before and need this to be real. You gotta be able to talk.

About the boy 1, he is the past. Be friendly but don’t be friends. Let him go and continue with your life. You might need closure but it will never be enough to mend your heart.

80% of divorce is initiated by the woman. And many women say that they feel they left the marriage long before they get the divorce. Then, many also say they are not exactly happy after the divorce.

Feelings of wanting a better life is not new. Everyone wants something better. More things to do. Have that feeling of being excited and alive. Some go for it. Grass is greener. Then regret.

Life is a journey. Ever sit in a car on a long road trip? It is only when you stop that you can stretch and feel better. Sitting in the car with only your thoughts, it can make one anxious and crazy.

So, What is the answer? What are we suppose to do? Well, we can not expect some to fulfill our needs and desires. Make us happy. If you’re not happy with yourself then probably won’t happen. Make yourself happy. Do things that bring joy. Personally, I like talking to people and listening. Hope you find what you’re looking for.

Sounds sort of like culture of west Asians where the female children are treated worse than their male counterpart. Humiliation and insults are used to control the mind of the child. To always depend upon the parents (father). Matrimonial dowry is part of the culture. And the if the female doesn’t bring enough to satisfy the man and his family then the woman is treated even worse. I am sorry if I am wrong for what I say may hurt you.

In order to escape this constant cycle of being belittled and depending upon your father, one must free oneself from the trappings of the culture. Take your money back. Keep your wages to yourself. If asked for it then say the company is cutting back and cutting salary. That you are lucky to keep your job. I the job is too connected to your father then find a different j0b. You have to find it within yourself to see a problem and then know there is a way to conquer it. This comes from practice. You pick something and work thru it until you are on top and winning. When you have accomplished several victories, you will know when you can move away from this poisonous condition and free yourself.

I am not telling you to do anything illegal or to fight. Just to take control of your life. Find it in yourself to be the courage you need to move forward. Otherwise find a way to be happy living in the same situation. I do not know where in the world you live. So, I do not know if there is help for you. May be government help? Or community help? I wish you the best. Good luck.

The self that we see as ourselves is manifest of the body. This aggregate of chemicals and electrical impulses produces this self that we believe that we are. This consciousness is a part of this body and is impermanent. Only here while the body is alive. Some we want to say that we are more than that. If you live in the portion of your consciousness where drinking alcohol affects you mind … Or, eating certain food affect your mood then your consciousness is connected to this body. When the body dies then this self dies. There is no self. Self is a concept cause by the persistence of living and experiencing. The effect is self. The cause is living and experiencing. The condition is the body. Cause finds the condition to produce the effect.

The realization that one does not truly exist .. is not enough. One has to find the other shore where upon one can stand to see this side of life. It is not bliss. It is not enlightenment. It is finding who we really are. What is ones face before one is born??

How to compassionately deal with a toxic mother? I am sorry you have had so much trouble with dealing with your mother. Her motives must have been to control you and stop you from become someone she would not like you to be. She pays for your rent? And you will only talk to her thru emails. She has approach dementia and you won’t talk with her. If you were to lose your memories, essentially yourself as you know it, wouldn’t you wish to have friends and family around?

So, compassion and wisdom is only applied to those we wish to apply it to? And some even wish that karma will take care of those if they are truly in the wrong? Of course no one ever makes mistakes??? Those who are without sin may cast the first stone. Mary, mother of Jesus, tried and convicted by her peers of the sins, stood there waiting for compassion. Wisdom stood in its stead.

I do not say mothers are innocent or the relationship is not toxic. But, my compassion says to not assign blame. The person across from you is on her script. She is playing her role as it was laid out to her. Wisdom lets you see the truth and act compassionately. To go beyond hurt feelings and mental scars. This is not an easy thing to do.

When people ask you what religion do you believe in? Do you say I am a Buddhist? Is this not the trigger that starts the lectures and harassments? Then why not say I am a person who learns from life the lessons that are presented to me. I find wisdom and compassion the leading reasons for living. Telling them what a Buddhist is?

Yeah, it is difficult to be a believer when everyone else is yelling at you to listen to them. Personally, I find religion to be very demanding. One must live and pray their way or they are not a good person. Finding a good teacher and a sangha is important for spiritual growth.

Why do you feel the need to tell people you are a Buddhist? Life is full of lessons to be learned. Running away from it? Is that the answer? There was once a monk who spent his time alone as a hermit. Sit in Meditation. Attain peace of mind. But as soon as he went to the city, all the noise came back. He could not meditate. He could not hold his own. So what good was his accomplishments? The lectures and harassment comes from you. Change your behavior and other will change their. You are the one pulling the pin on the grenade. Anyway, I wish you the best and hope you find a good teacher and sangha.