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I smile at complete strangers (not to flirt), as I walk by them.
I said I FEEL that it is highly overrated. Much like you feel it is not.
I am happy, healthy and have been keeping a journal for a long time. For I know that my mind is far more powerful than the tap water I am drinking.
Alexey I agree with your attitude towards health and wellness. Thanks for a well written article.
I have followed many of these concepts in my own personal life for a number of years. Except the food part; I feel this is highly overrated. I eat healthy, but will not stress myself out over many of the things you listed – ie. I drink tap water. When I start to slip (ie. not exercising), I see the domino effect it can have on my life. With that in mind, I continue to remind myself that I cannot stress about these things all the time and in no time I am back on track. The mind is very powerful and grasping hold of your cognitive abilities means so much. We are not robots and the feelings you describe as negative are healthy in the right context and in moderation.
I think a key aspect that is missing in your plan is to RELAX. I don’t mean just getting sleep, but I mean shutting your mind off for a while and breathing. You can do this while exercising 🙂
+1 for Buddhist Wife’s response.
She mentioned to expose children to as many people as possible and not just kids their own ages. To expand on this, I think exposing them to different cultures is also very important. Help them learn that not everyone is the same so they can become more compassionate and tolerant of others.
I agree with John – follow your heart! Really ask yourself what you want and what is more important to you. What are you willing to compromise on?
I have friends who tell me that to live the lifestyle I want to live I need to find someone who, like myself, makes “good money”. My response to them is that I can find many people who make “good money”, but I cannot find a lot of people who share the same mind set, goals and desires in life. So what if money is required to meet those goals? I am willing to share it with my partner so we can share experiences that matter to us both. After all, it’s just money.
An old post revived…but, here is my two cents.
I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a long time. Like Joe, I often felt like the men I met would not amount to a relationship. Until I met one fantastic guy. A guy who, on the first date, was not afraid to let it out and be honest. We talked about one thing the “rules” say you should not talk about, which was religion. We discovered that we both had the same attitude toward organized religion. I thought to myself: “Finally! A guy I suspect is not afraid to share his feelings and opinions in a non judgemental way with a complete stranger.” This was quite refreshing and I became very infatuated with him. I became so anxious about saying the wrong thing and he would not longer be interested in me that it took me sometimes days to respond to his text messages. What happened to the feeling I got from him from our first date? Apparently I completely forgot about that.
Needless to say, things fizzled. I felt like I played it too cool and blew all my chances. He stopped responding to me. I beat myself up, wondering what I could do. And then it dawned on me:
I finally realized what it was about him that I liked so much. It was his relentless compassion towards others. He was a teacher, spent a lot of his free time volunteering with troubled kids, and (seemingly) always helped his friends and family when he could. While I did not volunteer at the time, I have always been the person who helps out a complete stranger, even if it meant I was going to miss my train or be later getting home than usual. I realized that these qualities were more important than someone who was not afraid to speak their mind (in a non judgemental way). How would I ever find these qualities in a man on a DATING website? It dawned on me that it’s a complete crap shoot, so to speak. I needed to start seeking out these types of people. I started volunteering my time and giving back to others (not by chance). I did not do it with the soul intention of finding the love of my life, but rather to surround myself with people who had the same attitude as me. Since then it has made me a far happier person because I feel like I am able to be up front and honest with myself. While I have not met my soul mate as of yet, I have met many individuals who have the same mind set as me. To me, this is step one.
Like Anne said, examine who is in your life and what they mean. Open yourself to new opportunities and love will eventually find you.
Thanks for the responses. Laia’s comment of “unhappiness and a relationship being at best hard work and may be a sign of how deep the love or commitment for their partner is” made me look at the other side of the coin. Despite the fact that I also do not buy into this belief, it makes me understand the situations of many individuals in my life who continue to state how much hard work is. And the Wife reminded me that we all have very different definitions of what “hard work” really is.
All in all, I’m glad to hear that I’m not alone. Perseverance is key! I guess I have a difficult time explaining to individuals why after several years of a lot of dating I *still* have not found someone I am overly interested in spending the rest of my life with.
Only you can decide if you can overcome it. If you were my best friend, whom I am completely blunt with, I would ask you to think about a few things. You’re getting anxious about it and have your guard up, but quite rightfully so. Trust is a huge thing in a relationship. There is too much to consider for a stanger to give you any black or white answers.
While I think it’s normal to check other people out…to a point…the context of it all does matter. Aside from checking other people out in person and on facebook has he ever given you any reason to believe he may be cheating?
My bigger concern lies within the fact that after you approached him about it, he was upset and responded by saying you were insecure and jealous. You only mention that you approached him, but step back and look at the situation. How did you approach him with this? Were you accusing in any way? Often times people forget that our approach will shape the individual’s reaction. If he flew off the handle and responded in this manner, I would definitely bring it up with him again. Him not respecting your feelings is a no no in my book. You can disagree (or agree to disagree), but making it personal like that hurts and is unproductive.