Dear Dafne

Have you considered sperm donation that way you can become a mother without having to  wait find an obliging  partner.

I have had a desire to become a buddhist nun for nearly 15 years and had hoped to achieve that by my 50th birthday ( a decade ago) my Lama said I would have to wait until I retire which means I have got another 8 years to go, but in the meantime I live as an undercover plain clothed nun, ie I dont consume alcohol or have sexual/romantic relationships.

Looking after my dad is now the focus of my spiritual practice as I do not have the time/freedom for much formal practice.

So I guess it is more about making the most of our present situation.

Dear David

May I ask a couple of questions.  Do you live with your girlfriend if not why? Have you two ever talked about important things such as marriage & children?

What have you learnt from this incident and what are you going to different in the future?

Dear Dafne

My best friend moved abroad and I also can’t expand my love search to other places. I have to stay in my small town and help my elderly as they are in need. I feel stuck. I’m between helping them and trying to meet someone somewhere else before is too late.  

I too live in a small place population 2000 aprox looking after now just 1 parent with dementia. So I am curious about the ” too late” for what? In what areas of your life do you feel unfulfilled?

Roberta

Dear Tom

If you start to know yourself well it will help with strengthen your patience muscle. For instance when we are tired or hungry we have less tolerance. If you realise that after about say three hours being with family/friends your capacity is dropping then the next time try calling it quits after 2 hours so that you leave feeling good about them. Setting the aspiration to be patient before you meet up is a good. Read & learn about why it is good to have these qualities and how to foster them

Dear Saggad.

I am so sorry that your loving & helping spirit was abused by this woman’s actions.

As you say at the moment & probably forever you will not get  legal restitution and it is not a financial imperative either.

A radical rethink may help.

You initially had altruistic intention to help her  by selling the car.

How would you feel if you thought that you gifted her the car & the apartment?

You can also make prayers for the health of her daughters and that the woman is happy  & content, because a person who is  truly happy & content will not steal or lie. Also wish that she may use any good fortune that she has to benefit others. You may think that this is a naive and unrealistic, but this is about restoring balance and healing to your mind.

What ever you do to heal will need to be done repeatedly each time the disturbing thoughts & memories occur.

Dear EvFran

I think that many young men suffer aimlessness as  our society’s do not really have any rights of passage anymore to help them throw off the freedoms of childhood and move into taking their place as a  useful adult within the tribe.

A pilgrimage/trek in nature may help to bring clarity. Nowadays there are many guided & or sponsored events catering for all abilities.

Dear Furry Rat

You come across as quite ethical and not willing to jump over people to climb the corporate ladder.

I guess first check your contract to make sure you can get out of it easily. Do you actually like working for this company if so speak to HR about other job opportunities.

As we spend about a third of our day working, then the chance to find something that fulfills you is well worth exploring.

I wish you the best of luck finding a job and workmates that support & inspire you

Hi

I have just finished a book called Sacred Rest By Saundra Dalton-Smith for the most part I found it an enjoyable & insightful read. At the moment i have to remind myself to live day to day (caring for dad with dementia) letting go of the past and not getting to wrapped up in a future that is without dad this way I have less dissatisfaction with my current situation.

best wishes