Hello Sandy,

I agree with Bernadette. I just recently go out of a 3 year relationship. My ex was like that all those years, he always said that he will never change and continue to do things as he likes, yes he would be sweet and gave me his time. But to go out on the weekend or you know like a normal couple he never wanted but to just watch tv or hangout with his family and when he wanted to go out the weekend he would leave me always!

Certain things i didnt like, but i really liked him so much that i continued the relationship, but in those years there was a lot of arguements because he never changed.

I dont want the same thing to happen to you, so you still have time to think about it. The consequences are you hurt yourself a lot at the end, and you loose self confidence and who you are and loose time.

I am also planning to seek a therapist because i am damaged of that relationship.

Good luck to you!

Edlin

Barbara is right! I will always text crazy to my ex to always ask how come he has not text me back, I would look desperate. So just step back and do something for yourself, distract yourself, if is meant to be he will come around. !

Edlin

Wow. That is the worst feeling ever. I am going through a 3 year relationship break up but what your going through is rough. Thats your daughter!!! by your husband. What goes through ppl’s mind. Im sorry to hear that, sound like you had suffer a lot in the past.

Of course is not easy. I always wake up in the morning thinking about my ex. Or i just think about it through out the day when im alone. I am GLAD! There is a man beside you to help you get back on your feet, and dont punish yourself! Your daughter will come around. Try to talk to her! I best advice you to go talk to a PASTOR or THERAPIST to help you out. Talk your past with them or write it down and throw it away burn it. Do it over and over so your brain and heart can be clear.

Enjoy life right now with your new man, the rest is history! And dont forget about your daughter.

I am sorry to hear that. It is like a mirror. Guys or men are douchebags. I know how you feel Bernadette! I l also have a similar story with my ex too. I am close to his family , he is the youngest and he has Two olders sisters and a older brother that are arond 30’s. After i broke up with him, I still was in contact with one of his sisters, she invited me over to watch Texans football game. I went over and we ate and drank alcohol. She has a boyfriend around 27 years old. I was there having fun that night with them, and my phone died. So thats when i went home all late and my parents kicked me out. So i went to sleep at my ex boyfriends parents house with him.

When i woke the morning, i charged my phone and I received a text message from the boyfriend of my ex boyfriend’s sister, saying that he is him and he wanted to tell me somethig but to keep it a secret. Later some few weeks passed by, my ex boyfriends sister found out by going through his phone my number was saved under other name. I did reply to him saying what does he have to say and i thought he was going to say something about my ex. The only person i showed that he messaged me, was my ex, but i didnt show his sister. I was concerned about other things that day.

So I never told her. Her boyfriend never texted me again till the night when she found out. He was constantly texting me annoying me, I was at her house while him texting me, but he wasnt there. I was afraid to show her the messages because i didnt show her in the beginning so she might think we were hiding something. So i called him to stop annoying me and texting him, i took care of the problem by myself.

But later that night she found out about the call, she called me to get things straight she wasnt mad at first but then later on she was. Her boyfriend told her that i gave my number to him. But i didnt, i dont know how he got my number, but i believe he got it from her phone! My ex found out and called me names! And also said he cant trust hoes these days! But i told him i didnt gave my number why would i be stupid to give my number out to my ex’s sister ‘s boyfriend. I told him that is easy for that guy to blame me since he has been around the family more than me.

I agree with Buddhist Wife!

Hello Kateleigh,

I really think you should just be yourself and show him how much you care or love him. Little details matter the most. You can tell him how much you love him but you need to show him and only you know how. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. Be yourself and take a risk and try to work things out with him without thinking the past. Be vulnerable. It will take time to gain his confidence trust.

1. Communicate with him respectfully.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Try to understand his reasons, even when you disagree.
4. Ask for his help.
5. Let go of the small stuff.
6. Tell him you love and respect him
7. Give him some space for his hobbies
8. Show him that you respect him and trust him.
9. When you go out together don’t bring up problems.
10. Focus your attention on what he’s doing right.
11. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
12. Be happy and positive when he comes home.
13. Give him half an hour to unwind after work.
14. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully.
15. Defend him to any family member who tries to dishonor him.
16. Compliment his efforts above his performance.
17. Seek his advice when you face challenges.
18. Set and work on goals together.
19. Don’t over commit yourself, leave some time for him.
20. Be forgiving when he unintentionally offends you.
21. Find ways to show him you need him. Guys need to be needed.
22. Don’t fill his every spare moment with chores.
23. Peel away your pride and admit your mistakes.
24. Rub his neck and shoulders when he is stressed.
25. If he wants to talk, listen and ask viewpoint questions.
26. Express appreciation for his hard work.
27. Tell him you are proud of him for the person he is.
28. Give advice in a loving way; do not in a nag him.
29. Reserve some energy for him when he wants you sexually.
30. Don’t expect him to spend all his time on honey do projects.
31. Commend him for being a good man.
32. Brag about him to other people even when he’s not there.
33. Share your feelings with him but keep it abbreviated.
34. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
35. Honor him and show your respect in front of everyone.
36. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to.
37. Be his helper in whatever ways he needs it.
38. Accept that sometimes he just wants to be with you and not talk.
39. When he’s in a bad mood don’t crowd him.
40. Help him accomplish his goals.
41. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
42. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
43. Thank him for things he’s done around the house.
44. Don’t expect him to always notice everything you do.
45. Consult him before making important plans.
46. Let him sleep in when he can.
47. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical with him.
48. Initiate sex periodically but be responsive more often.
49. Get to the point in your discussions without endless details.
50. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out together.
51. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he misspeaks.
52. Don’t quarrel over words.
53. Be kind and courteous with him.
54. Don’t blame him every time things go wrong.
55. When he blows it don’t say, “I told you so.”
56. Never argue over money, he already feels responsible.
57. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him.
58. Praise his good decisions and minimize the bad ones.
59. Don’t expect him to read your mind, we’re not that smart.
60. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff.
61. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.
62. When you’re angry don’t give him the silent treatment.
63. Look your best for him and make him proud to be seen with you.
64. Be his best cheer leader.
65. Acknowledge his successes in areas of everyday life.
66. Patiently teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
67. Thank him for just being himself.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 3 months ago by Edlin.