Hi Lulu

Well the reason you haven’t told your family is because you are afraid that they will be unreasonable. You have a couple of options. Decide to tell them that you are both talking again. Or to tell them everything. One will make them a bit upset and the other will make them  more upset. You could see this boy regardless. You are an adult, they can’t stop you, but they can make your life difficult.

There is another factor to consider as well. Racial prejudice. As a person in a multiracial relationship, very few chances are given to partners in relationships where a family has racial prejudice. It is sadly very common. I don’t know if your family suffers from this kind of thing? Sorry for bringing up such an idea, if you don’t think it is a possibility.

I don’t think that you are unworthy of their love and respect if you decide to choose the first option. You are always worthy of their love and respect regardless of what you choose.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

*get to arrange your affairs

Hi Louise

I don’t think it is appropriate to go back to your ex-boyfriend’s place. You’re not attracted to him and you used him for the past few years to fund your lifestyle of travelling. You shouldn’t use him again. It’s not a kind thing to do to someone.

Remaining friends is perfectly fine. In that way, you could make up to him all of the mistakes you made. Please do the hard thing and not the easy thing. Take charge of your life once and for all.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Lulu

Wow that is quite a serious incident with that old therapist. The therapist should be reported for revealing sensitive confidential patient information to family which resulted in a case of bullying. It is a very serious incident indeed and breaches patient data protection laws.

I don’t think that it is your boyfriend’s fault though. He did a good job in defending you. Even his friend spreading rumours is just a young idiot.

I think in regards to crime, the crime was committed by your old therapist, not your boyfriend. Perhaps it might actually put your family at ease if the incident with the therapist was reported since they take crime very seriously.

I can understand feeling guilty and wanting the approval of your family to speak to him. Perhaps a middle ground would be to plan when you would like to tell your family that you two are in communication again? That way you don’t feel like you are keeping a secret anymore.

What are your thoughts about this?

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Lulu

I think that it is probably not a good idea to share his inappropriate joke with your family.

What was the miscommunication that made them not like him in the first place?

Assuming that they are overreacting to the miscommunication possibly due to everything that has been going on with your sister, I think that it’s good for you that you have your boyfriend there to support you. It is nice that you are both autistic and can understand each other in that special way.

It is clear how much you love and value your family and I don’t think that you are betraying them. You have put some clear boundaries in place and your boyfriend apologised.

I don’t even think that you are trying to hide him, just that with everything that has been going on it isn’t the right time to share that with them. I’m sure that you will share that you are talking again when the time is right.

You are doing your best to cope with the situation at hand and you do deserve to have someone who is there for you.

Once again, I’m sorry for your family’s loss.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Jana

Thank you for another thought provoking topic!

I think that it is easy to make bad decisions, but it takes hard work to try and be a good person. It is a shame that some people are not cut out for that.

I’m curious, do you remember ever consciously choosing the good path?

My initial reason was not necessarily a good one, but it was very effective. I simply didn’t want to become like the person who hurt me.

It definitely makes sense! You worked really hard to create a beautiful life for yourself and overcome your suffering. You deserve this peace. 🕊️

My husband was listening to a video today that was talking about karma. It described these things in terms of percentages. Say over a lifetime, a person does a percentage of good things and a percentage of bad things and the weighting of that dictates their karma in their next life. I thought it was fascinating.

It truly is beautiful hearing you talk about your relationship. ❤️

A pleasure chatting, as always. 😊

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Arie

Well done on being supportive when your son came out to you. I’m glad to hear that the whole family is being supportive, that will be very special for him. I can tell that you care a lot about your son and just want to be a good mother.

I’m sorry to hear that you have complicated feelings about your son being bisexual. I can understand your concern about grandchildren.

The truth is that even if he were straight, there is no guarantee these days that people have children. More and more often people are not doing that for many reasons. Infertility is becoming a common issue as couples are leaving having children to later. Finances are another concern, having children is extremely expensive these days and times are hard. Some people also recognize that taking care of children is hard and that they might not be cut out for it.

Your son currently has a fiance? Presumably this is a heterosexual relationship? He may still yet marry and have children. Not to mention, adoption is possible if he ever decides to go down that route.

This has been a shock for you too. Please give yourself some time to process the news. Try not to worry about it.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏