Hi Anita

That was beautiful! You have a way with words. 😊

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Laven

It’s good to hear that your fm recovered well. I hope that the surgery helps her to feel a bit better, despite not really wanting it.

I’m happy to hear that you enjoyed your taste of freedom! And sorry to hear about how much pain you are in.

I don’t like how you are treat by the family. I thought it was really disgusting that you were expected to stay home and be excluded from the process at the hospital when you are the person who cares most about her, taking care of her every day!

My informal adopted family treat me similarly bad mouthing me and by excluding me from things like Christmas. I don’t have much to do with them because of it.

I’m sorry that they started talking badly about you in the group chat. They’re genuinely awful people, it’s terrible that you have to deal with them.

I’m sorry that your cycle of health care related anxiety continues. You’re right it is really hard taking care of people, especially when they don’t want to take care of themselves. You are doing your best though and it sounds like you have a good balance of empathy for her situation and her feelings and an understanding of your responsibilities.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Laven

Sorry for the delay in replying! I wouldn’t beat yourself up about contacting that guy. You’re human and feeling vulnerable at the moment. Nothing wrong with that.

Regarding creating a social circle, it is hard. The way I see things there are some bad people, a lot of average people and some good people out there. It takes time to find the good ones! Just keep trying, they are out there. 😊

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Lilly-Mae

I’m sorry that you’re in this painful situation and feel like you’re not good enough. Well done on finally standing up for yourself!

I’ve been in your situation more than once. I’m sorry but my thoughts might be painful to you. I don’t want to hurt you. It isn’t my intention.

In my opinion, this man was never your friend. It He was your abuser. It sounds like he wanted to keep his future options open with using you for sex.

He can find a regular relationship easily. But it is harder to find someone who is willing to tolerate abuse. Most people have boundaries. He was looking for someone to abuse and you were that person. He could never love you because loving someone means treating them with respect. He never respected you.

However, you are good enough. You deserve a loving committed relationship, just not with him. I hope that in the future your own boundaries and tell anyone who treats you badly to take a hike. A tip I learned dating is that if someone says they don’t want to date you, they will never change their mind.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Sammie

I’m sorry that you endured not one but two abusive relationships. I’m glad that you are with a partner who is safe and treating you well now.

It is expected that you would have difficulties with your emotions after all that trauma. It is going to take some time to heal from two abusive relationships. Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you deal with the trauma?

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Lola

I don’t think that this is your fault. The boss should have never flirted with you. There is a power imbalance there that if you react to protect yourself and your relationship that you would have difficulties with your job.

That your husband reacted so badly to the situation and even beat you. Do you really want to have a baby with someone so unstable that reacts so badly to a minor difficulty. What if they beat a child?

There was no kiss, no emotional affair, no anything. What exactly do you have to apologize for except for not standing up for yourself despite the power imbalance?

You should not have discussed the situation with management. This is how your job got affected, but this is your only mistake. HR would have been a better choice.

It has only been 3 interviews, you will have a job soon I’m very sure. Keep your chin up!

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏

Hi Elais

You sound very aware of your difficulties. As Anita said different styles of therapy are useful for different things.

You have tendencies of avoidance. I have them too. I learned in therapy that avoidance reinforces our fears. So the more we avoid, the worse we feel when we encounter situations that we are afraid of. But the more we fight against those feelings and push ourselves to not avoid. Whilst it is scary and hard, in time we can adjust and trust in our capabilities and be less afraid.

It sounds to me like working on your self-esteem and boundaries would be helpful. When you feel comfortable saying no to people. Then you won’t need to avoid. When you are confident in yourself you won’t need to shy away.

All therapy really does is teach you the tools to be your own therapist. Most of the battle is applying what is learned in therapy. A therapist cannot make the changes for us.

Perhaps the people who are heavily weighing on you shouldn’t be doing so as much. It is okay to take some space for yourself to take care of yourself when you need to. Putting so much into others can leave your life on hold.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏