Forum Replies Created
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Hi Kyle!
I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in what you shared!
Couple of questions if you don’t mind? How old were you when this thanksgiving trip happened?
You mentioned that your father coerced you. How?
Have you ever experienced any difficulties with your mother?
How do you feel about the coercion and filing the false report about your mother?
Sometimes when we lie it can be because we are afraid of being vulnerable with people, this can include being afraid of showing people who we are. Does this resonate with you at all? If not do you see any reasoning behind this behaviour?You mentioned that lying can be a defence. A defence against what?
Please feel free to share whatever you would like to. Sorry if the questions are difficult. You don’t have to answer anything that you are uncomfortable with.
It’s funny you say that because it’s directly related to the next story in the Lotus Sutra which is about Buddha’s students and enlightenment.
I would agree, not being able to imagine or understand the possibility of a different future is a large problem in the world. We live our lives while experiencing a fascinating phenomenon: we know what we know, we know what we don’t know, we don’t know what we know and we don’t know what we don’t know.
There is a certain safety in what we know, even if it ultimately harms us. Depression can provide a measure of comfort. If we tell ourselves we are going to fail so there’s no point in trying we don’t ever have to put ourselves through the stress of trying.
We all need to keep our minds open to opportunities as they arise and make an effort to expose ourselves to positive new experiences. As well as being open to discomfort that arises with the new opportunities. Sometimes it is hard to make changes. But that is okay!
I do think other people have a large influence on how we perceive ourselves and our environment. Having a supportive network is beneficial for any kind of growth. Different people have the benefit of exposing us to different perspectives.
I’m glad that thinking of fun relieved you of stress! I have really enjoyed discussing this with you. 😊
I hadn’t thought about it that way. It is a nice way to think about it!
But I wonder if living skilfully in this metaphor would be the father who knows to use this way to coax his children to safety outside?
I think also, whilst the benefits of Buddhism might be what lures us to initially practice. Perhaps fun is a happy side effect? Sometimes it will be present, sometimes it won’t, since one theme of Buddhism is overcoming desire and attachment.
I do think practicing Buddhism would include fostering good experiences and being open to happiness and fun. Freedom from suffering sounds like a nice idea.
In the version I am reading the ending is different. This version, the father is wealthy and gives the children beautiful carts after they agree to play outside and leave the burning house.
Yes, I would agree that the carts represent the gifts of Buddhism.
The children were coaxed outside by their desire to play. Much like I became interested in Buddhism after learning that psychology has been heavily influenced by it and surmising that I may benefit from learning more. Unsurprisingly, I’m learning quite a lot and benefiting from these practices. So there is the cart that was promised!
I’m afraid that I don’t know much about Mahayana Buddhism. Only what I can glean from books.
Hi Danny!
I’m glad that you find affirmations helpful!
I agree with Anita, these affirmations are personal to you so only you will be the best judge of how your affirmations will help you. Clearly, you put a lot of thought, meaning and effort into creating them.
Good luck! My only other thought, is as well as the affirmations have you come up with some achievable goals to work towards related to the affirmations? It could be nice to track some tangible results alongside these affirmations.
Hi Sharon!
I’m sorry that things are difficult for you at the moment. If you want to talk about what is happening we are hear to listen!
I have been in some dark places before and found it difficult to motivate myself to do every day activities.
What helped me complete housework was considering reasons why I wanted to complete each task. This helped motivate me to do them.
For example, I have dogs. If I don’t tidy up there would be trash lying around that the dogs would play with and potentially try to eat.
Whatever reason that is meaningful to you is ideal.
It was also important for me to prioritise tasks and goals. It can be overwhelming thinking of all the responsibilities, chores and goals you want to achieve in the future.
Consider what you want to get done today. My husband sometimes says if you get 30% of what you planned to do done, that is a good day.
It’s very important to forgive yourself if you don’t achieve everything that you want to do in a day.
I think it’s important to gradually increase the number of tasks you plan to do in a day. Consider how many tasks and activities you are currently achieving in a day. Then try adding one more. Do that every day and when you are ready commit to achieving an additional task.
Patience is really important because it can take a long time to achieve important goals. Punishing yourself for every day that you don’t achieve it is no way to live. Comparing your progress to others is never helpful either.
For many the practice detachment has been a about detachment from desire. No desire = no suffering. Probably true only I don’t see how such a practice of detachment would not end in indifference and or unconsciousness.
I have been reading The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh. The way that he describes overcoming attachment is beautiful. He suggests that rather than indifference it involves loving everyone equally. To me the idea of nonself (I hope that I am using this correctly) is relevant to because it addresses grasping. If we are all part of each other we have nothing to lose. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying shares this concept of nonself too. Anyone we spend time with will become a part of us. As for developing compassion and empathy for people that we don’t have relationships they suggest recognising that we all have Buddha nature within us.
“To joyfully participate in the sorrows of the world“. So far every wisdom tradition I have come across asks that question. Can you engage fully in life, as it is, the wonder and the horror joyfully? Can that be Love? My intuition is that a experience of enlightenment would involve such a realization.
Many Buddhist monks are from countries that experienced war so they have written a lot about this subject specifically. They discuss empathising with the soldiers killing their loved ones. Understanding that they are often conscripted with no choice but to participate in war. Not to mention, they may be punished severely if they attempt to desert. Soldiers are considered pawns, not the agents perpetuating the war. Also, we all know the devastating impact on mental health that being a soldier can have. In this way, they were able to love the enemy harming them. Many monks who were imprisoned and punished for their beliefs chose to see that as an excellent opportunity to deepen their practice.
Tsoknyi Rinpoche shared that many masters have ego and it is a normal healthy part of being a person. His suggestion was to watch the ego and not let it drive action.
Hi Peter!
Jiddu Krishnamurti has a very interesting definition of enlightenment. He describes enlightenment using a concept of violence and non-violence. If a violent feeling arises and is surpressed this creates conflict.
He considers enlightenment to be viewing emotions without judgement or thought. This IMMEDIATE action of non-judgment without thought as feelings arise is considered to be enlightenment. This immediacy is very important because it would mean that you already have to be in a state of meditation as feelings arise otherwise thoughts, attachment and conflict would occur.
He also suggests that anyone claiming to be enlightened is not, as ego is what claims enlightenment.
Hi Eric
If you say “Hi!” in passing usually when you first see someone that day that is a very suitable interaction. You would not need to continue the conversation afterwards. Perhaps try consistently saying hello since you are having difficulty with conversation?
I appreciate that you have severe anxiety. Unfortunately, when you avoid a situation due to anxiety it reinforces the fear of the situation. This happens because you feel relieved and safe after avoiding the situation triggering difficult feelings which confirms in your mind that there was indeed something to fear and avoid in that scenario.
Stage 2 is moving onto saying “Hey how are you doing?”.
Sorry for the late reply, it’s been busy!
The dog I know with Cushing’s disease also ended up developing muscle wasting in the back legs. Fortunately, no epilepsy has developed so far. Something unique happened with the skin, which the vet had never seen before. Instead of hair loss, patches of raw open wounds spontaneously developed. Medication has helped the with the skin heal, as well as relieving thirst and frequent urination.
I agree, it’s amazing what we can do for our own health and the health of our pets these days.
My mom’s dog tried CBD oil which is similar to hemp seed oil. It was mildly helpful for pain relief but gabapentin which the vet prescribed was more effective for severe pain.
I’m glad that your vet can assist you with the light therapy. I hope all goes well! Please keep us updated on how your pup responds to medication and light therapy.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 