Hi Lea!

How did your exam go?

I don’t know about you, but when I have an exam due, my anxiety increases. Were you feeling anxious about the exam the other day?

I have a couple of friends with ADHD. One said that it can take some time to find the right medication.

One interesting thing about ADHD symptoms is that they are similar to the symptoms of other conditions. A doctor might test you for other conditions as well as ADHD.

Did you know that stress can cause difficulties with memory? It wouldn’t surprise me forgetting to take out the trash even when reminded, if you were feeling stressed about the exam.

ADHD can sometimes be hereditary. Are there any older adults is your family that you suspect might share these traits?

You can tell your mom that ADHD is a neurological condition. It’s not a reflection of parenting styles. She may be more receptive.

I have heard anecdotal reports of physical repetitive simple tasks being soothing for adhd. Like chopping wood or kneading dough. Some also find that coffee helps with focus, but others do not.

I feel like comments like these can be hurtful and slowly chip away at you. Have you tried asking your parents not to make this type of comments? Do you think they would be receptive?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Helcat.

Hi Greenshade!

That is a very noble goal! Potentially, one of the few reasons to stay. If you left the role, would someone else take over and likely achieve that goal? Perhaps you can still help people outside of this role?

I can empathise with how you feel about HU1. In my old workplace management criticised people behind their back. It made me feel anxious and distrustful.

I think there are a lot of managers like HU2.It sounds like a combination of personal habits and the nature of the role. It sucks when it feels like management doesn’t value your ideas. But this doesn’t mean that they aren’t good ideas. There are likely a variety of factors in play.

What I liked to do when being given lots of responsibilities is ask which is the highest priority and communicate expected time frames for each item. If HU2 gets upset when you are doing that, it is not your fault. As you said, it would be a lack of organisation on their part.

1. I can understand why this is upsetting. It sounds like they don’t value the time of their employees.

2. I can understand since you explained HU2s nature. I am imagining somewhat stern and fatherly why the tone might sound different from other people who might genuinely hope to see you there. It would sound to me like someone wagging their finger sternly. “I want you to go to this.” It would have been more polite if he asked you “Would you be able to attend the event?” or “Would you like to attend?”.

3. It is understandable why you weren’t there. Was your supervisor present at the meeting? Did you give notice to the meeting host that you wouldn’t be able to attend? My husband likes to message and let people know when he doesn’t attend meetings. The micromanaging seems a bit much. Personally, I don’t enjoy that management style.

4. I think this links in with the theme of this company. They expect a lot of you. They expect you to sacrifice and they don’t seem to respect your time. It doesn’t sound like they have been receptive in the past when you communicated difficulties with a high workload. You are somehow expected to manage everything perfectly all of the time. When the reality is that we are all human, we all get tired and occasionally make mistakes.

I wish you luck with your freelancing! Or in your current role. Whichever you decide, I am sure that you will be successful. You strike me as a professional that cares about their work.

Hi Lea!

Sorry I can’t find on the thread. Do you have an adhd diagnosis? If not, it might be a good idea to do that asap. Doctors can prescribe medication to help with this. Please mention to your doctor that these feelings cause you to want to hurt yourself but you have self control and don’t act on them.

You are doing everything you can to address these issues. You are trying so hard that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself!

These difficulties with studying sound very frustrating and like they’re causing you anxiety.I can understand why you feel angry and upset.

I don’t think you are lazy. You are a bright, hard working young lady. I’m sorry that studying is difficult for you because of these issues. I am confident that despite these difficulties you will get through it because of the wonderful qualities you possess.

I hope a doctor can help you ease these difficulties. I wish you luck with your studies.

Recently, have your parents been giving you grief about your difficulties studying?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Helcat.

Hi Anita, since you replied I expect that you changed your mind.

I was excited to read your thread because you don’t usually post threads. You are a well respected member of this community and I was excited to learn more about you. I feel a kinship with you because we share some unique experiences.

I was not as gentle communicating with you as opposed to other members because I respected you. I did not realise that I would offend you. I have already apologized for this and I am happy to do so again.

You have made significant progress, granted but perhaps your anxiety can be reduced even more.

Even for myself, I would say that my anxiety is much lower than it used to be. But I still experience anxiety on a daily basis at a level where I would benefit from reducing it further.

I’d like to draw your attention to this. I don’t think that you are “sick”. I see you as an equal.

It is however important to acknowledge your anxiety since you have difficulty with daily living activities.

I am sorry that my frankness offended you and that you interpreted it as arrogance and dismissive instead of the intent I intended which was frank speech to a friend.

Oh and the reason I said that your bar for happiness seems low is because personally, I wish you all of the happiness in the world. Why stop at paperwork and doctors appointments? Surely there is even more happiness to experience.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Helcat.

I respect your decision. Please feel free to resume contact if you ever change your mind.

@anita

I have only read one of the threads in full. I have responded to your current posts. You frequently reference themes from earlier in the threads.  I do not assume that you need to hear these words specifically, I was sharing my thoughts and experiences. This is a public forum, many people may read them. If someone can find any comfort or use in my thoughts, great. I apologise, it was not my intent to make you feel uncomfortable. If you prefer, I could not reply to these threads you resurrected.

Perhaps it is important to consider why you feel uncomfortable?

”You” can be used in general or plural. The last reply on this thread wasn’t addressed to you personally.

I simply felt that the thread contained a lot of voices that believed it’s impossible to heal from trauma. I believe the opposite, so I thought it important to share that perspective since it wasn’t present.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by Helcat.

I would also add that personally, I do believe that it is possible to overcome even severe abuse.

It takes a lot of time, hard work, exposure to  positive experiences, kind people and an amazing trauma therapist.

It doesn’t erase what happened. Or mean that you will never experience the pain you felt ever again. But things can get easier to bear. And one day you may even find yourself going through your day without thinking about those experiences. Even when you do think about those experiences, that is okay too.