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HoneyBlossomParticipant
I really liked your post Peter. I have chosen not to pursue relationships, but I have love in my life. Not the type of love in popular culture or sexual entanglements. I know I feel a lot better about myself and happier within myself now I am alone. I’m.definitely much more emotionally and mentally stable.
HoneyBlossomParticipantHello Jill,
I was in a similar situation to you around 15 years ago. He didn’t give me closure, but eventually I found my own. The most important thing is to never go back. I can tell you from experience that it gets worse if you do. In the end, I felt I was losing my mind.
At the end of the day, one of the best things in my life was the end of that relationship even though it didn’t feel that way at the time. I believe he was a genuine narcissist.
April 19, 2022 at 3:13 am in reply to: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, but dumped me for her in the end #398251HoneyBlossomParticipantUhoh
April 19, 2022 at 3:11 am in reply to: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, but dumped me for her in the end #398250HoneyBlossomParticipantHi Anita and Helacat. I’m still around but flat out with every day life. Not sure if I told you both that the surgeon got the results back and he was able to get ALL of the tumor excised. His office called me today to say that I need to collect paperwork to go back for day procedure in June to see if there are any recurrences. I will have to be doing that every 3 months for a while.
I’ve been either just not sleeping whenbIm not Working and still doing a lot of 12 hour shifts. I have been trying to find out as much as O can about homeopathic veterinary practice. We don’t have one anywhere near where I am which is a shame as I’m very disappointed in the best this way. I have pretty much decided to buy a device developed by an Australian vet to perform acupuncture, but instead of needles, a type of red light is used. I have been following some homeopathic vets and pet owners online, and it’s been interesting.
I think my little dog is slowly improving. She hasn’t had a seizure around 4 days now. The Chinese medicine won’t arrive for around 10 days. I hope she stays well.
Roses mother passed away, and needless to say, it’s been difficult for her. She knows I’m here if she needs to talk or wants anything.
I still don’t know exactly what is happening with work. I’m quite sure I will get work within the organisation, but it’s bureaucratic and manage m ent are slow with so much.
I hope you both had a good Easter. XXXX
HoneyBlossomParticipantHi David,
I’m sorry to read she is still doing this. Yes, she is just, but I think this is unreasonable and illegal. I think everyone needs to move on. What does your therapist think you should do?
April 4, 2022 at 4:18 am in reply to: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, but dumped me for her in the end #396845HoneyBlossomParticipantThank you Anita. I sent her an email today explaining all of that. I am h a vibg to go through internal application processes for other jobs within the organisation. She has extended the time I have at current place by 2 weeks, and I h as he enquired about another position.
I am very sad to be leaving my current workplace, but I am powerless to stop that. I believe management are making some errors of judgement in reducing staff hours.
Another worker has gone of work with COVID symptoms though she is testing negative on RATS so we are short-staffed again. I had to work alone for a few hours again today which I think breaches safety standards. As well, there are 2 workers there I know of planning to leave – one wants to have another child and be stay at home Mum. The other woman who wants to leave has a husband c lose to end of life. She says when he passes which is not far away, she plans to retire and live with adult child.
Anyway, fingers crossed that I can move into another facility soon. I feel I have had to learn so much at this organisation on account of having to work at different facilities, and now having to do it all again. It takes time to get to know clients well, their needs, etc. Well, O suppose nothing stays the same, and we have to be adaptable.
I hope you are well Anita. It’s been a long day – another 12 hour shift. I am so glad to be home with the dogs. XXXX
April 3, 2022 at 5:55 pm in reply to: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, but dumped me for her in the end #396834HoneyBlossomParticipantHugs Helecat and Anita,
I’m sorry I haven’t posted. Helecat, please don’t worry and postwhatever you like.
I have just had a bit happening. I have needed to rest a bit more than I had expected. Am okay now and had some running around to do with one of my dogs on the weekend.
I haven’t felt much like talking to anyone as my job has been turned upside down. One of the managers has decided they are cutting jobs where I work and has been pressuring me to move into another position with a lot less hours and money. I still don’t know what is happening and am focused on trying to sort this out.
I will be back as soon as I can and hope you are all well. XXX
March 29, 2022 at 8:55 pm in reply to: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, but dumped me for her in the end #396501HoneyBlossomParticipantHugs Anita,
Thank you. Dogs are home now. Still haven’t slept. I look to have a pregnant stomach, and hope it goes down soon. I am okay though but had the realisation today that there are about 5 tablets I’m supposed to take every day but I’m so slaphappt about. I haven’t done much but snuggling in bed with the dogs. X
March 29, 2022 at 3:18 pm in reply to: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, but dumped me for her in the end #396423HoneyBlossomParticipantHugs and THANK you Anita. I posted about the surgery a few posts back. Just got home last night. My sleep pattern appears to be very messed now. I have bad headache today and just taken something for it.
Thank you for understanding why I can’t write specifically about abuse often and for your kind words and reassurance.
I can certainly understand why you are no longer in contact with your mother.
I think I will spends today just chilling at home and recovering. My stomach looks pr e grant, but I’m told that is normal after this procedure and the clean out treatment.
I hope y o u all have a great day.
March 29, 2022 at 10:56 am in reply to: Can’t get over relationship abuse from many years back #396411HoneyBlossomParticipantHi Shve and thanks for your acknowledgement and clarification.
Just a suggestion to try which I need to do myself more oftenbwhich nay help. Before you go to sleep at night, work out a simple routine and do a positive meditation. In the mornings, you could read from one of those books or online, a daily positive reading. Also having a gratitude list to acknowledge thanks for. I know when O have done these things myself, I seem to function much better so thank you for reminding me. When I get out of the habit, I forget.
March 29, 2022 at 10:47 am in reply to: He cheated on his girlfriend with me, but dumped me for her in the end #396410HoneyBlossomParticipantDear Anita and Helacat, you are both such amazingly strong and aelf-insightful women. It’s too difficult for me to speak much of actual incidents of abuse. Firstly, where could I start. It went back as far as I can remember and it’s triggering for me to talk about.
I can though talk about my emotions by creating psychological distance from the events which happened over many years which entailed physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse. It shaped me to become a person who always felt that I was not as good as or as deserving as others. Within my own family, I believe I was the bottom of the wrung child. I know I was unplanned and unwanted (I was told that on numerous occasions).
Now I have entered my senior years, and who knows how long any of us have left. There is nothing I can do about my family or my life. My relationships resembled my family life in some ways. Thank God I live alone now where there is peace and I can choose who comes into my life and who doesn’t. XXX
HoneyBlossomParticipantDavid,
I’m quite certain that with a therapist and learning about that addiction through reading and sharing with others who have overcome that lifestyle that you CAN move on.
Whilst amends are important for most, being in constant contact with her or even thinking you could work through it together would be like 2 alcoholics in early recovery without the appropriate support trying to keep each other sober – just doesn’t work.
You need to discuss deeper matters with your therapist which you are acting out with your sexual preferences and behaviours. That’s my opinion anyway.
HoneyBlossomParticipantWhen there’s something I just HAVE to say. When I feel compelled to say it.
HoneyBlossomParticipantI hope Inky didn’t drink too many eggnogs🤪
- This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by HoneyBlossom.
HoneyBlossomParticipantHi Selina,
Welcome to the forums. Congratulations for reaching out.
Perhaps firstly, you might want to consider how you may be able to adjust your work situation so that you have more people in yourc life. Could bit be sometimes attending professional seminars and/or workshops or involvement in a profession-related association. I know meeting people is difficult. I had to make a big move myself a few years ago. It’s taken me years to make a small number of close friends. There are other friends I am in contact with through FB.
I agree this woman is messing with your head, can’t now your health so most important thing is is to take care o f you. Distance yourself from her again. She isn’t going to change. You are worth much more.
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