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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 200 total)
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  • in reply to: Love, loss, hurt. #400730

    Hello Lea, I posted my story on another thread so will just try to be brief.  I experiencedand witnessed domestic violence as a child in the home.  In highschool, I experienced a lot of ridicule and taunts, and was extremely lonely.  When I was 15, I took a large number of my mothers benzodiazepams.  I was found unconscious and taken to hospital. After waking up maybe 2 days later, I was seen by psychiatrists and transferred to a psychiatric hospital.  At 16, I left home and school to undertake a cadetship in an occupation of my choice.


    All my life, I looked for love.  I was desperate for love and acceptance and made poor choices.

    Now I am in my senior years, I no longer look for love and acceptance.  I live a quite life although I still work full-time.  I have a very small number of close friends, and I have 2 dogs who are like children and friends to me.  I have an affinity with animals.  I don’t trust many people. I prefer mostly to be on my own with my dogs who give me so much love and affection.  One of my dogs was a rescue dog who had a really terrible life before she came to live with me.  I’m always amazed at how loving and happy she is despite where she came from.  I try to give both my dogs the best ever life.  I have also taken on rescue ponies in the past.

    I won’t be able to retire for a few years yet, but I would really love to care for more rescue dogs

    in reply to: School Bullying #400729

    Thank you so much Anita.  Yes, such relief.  I could have saved myself a lot of negative feelings if I had given up sooner.  I almost did, and then I met Geoff (the wealthy divorced farmer), and part of me believed what I wanted to believe.  It took me down a dark path which I have never wanted to go to again.  That’s been a couple of years now, and I’ve never even been tempted.

    Yes, the bullying is very damaging.  Thank God that was before Facebook and the internet when it could have been worse.  I think in my case, and likely many more cases, the more confidence the bully loses, the worse the bullying can become.

    There was real nastiness at that school.  I have never attended any of the reunions, and never will.

    My older sister retired earlier than she planned from the public service.  She made a claim of being bullied by her manager, and then claims of bullying and bad attitude was made against her.  She denies that she had a bad attitude or bullied anyone, but as well as me, she used to taunt a few selected girls in her class at school.

    I keep things polite and am nice, but I NEVER let my guard down with her.  A lit of those school bullies never change.

    My relationship with my mother, on nb the surface is okay, but she let me down badly over and over.  I think partly because she came from an abuse background herself, but also she had children when she was very young, and couldn’t grow up herself.

    Now she us a very frail old lady in a nursing home who has dementia.  She calls me and tells me she loves me.  I think she does.  Fir whatever reason, she just couldn’t be there for me back then.

    There is no point in carrying bitterness over my mother. She can’t even remember what happened earlier in the day.  Doesn’t even remember some of our relatives.

    in reply to: End off the Road!! #400674

    Hi Javier,

    If you are reading this, I am a mother if young man in his 30s.  My life was difficult, but no matter anything my son did  I love him more than anyone in the world.  I think your mother is probably grateful th as t she has had the opportunity to spend time with you despite the circumstances.

    in reply to: Fear and trust issues after man cheating on me #400673

    Hi Jess,

    I hope you are okay.  I have been in relationships where the men cheated on me.  One relationship lasted several years.  In hindsight, I think the only reason it lasted so long was that it took a long time for me to know the real him.

    I was hurt very badly by his cheating and lying though I took him back after the first time.

    I think it’s possible he told you about his affairs because he thought you might find out.  Like you, I felt desperate for the relationship to work out.

    When I caught him out with the second woman (and I suspected there were others – this was confirmed as correct later), he told the second woman that he didn’t want to live if he couldn’t see her.  He also told her that he would need to make contact with me at some point to make amends.  I told her to please NEVER contact me again, that would be best thing he could do for me  and that she was free to have him because I didn’t want him any more.

    He did try to contact me, but I never responded.  I recently found out he died 4 years ago.  I don’t know what he died from.  I know that when he was trying to contact me, he was in ANOTHER relationship with a lovely woman, and after she was hooked in by him  he wasn’t nice to her.

    I’m not glad he’s dead, but I’m glad I got away from him.  I’m happy on my own these days.

    Sorry, but I suspect your husband is a selfish liar.

    in reply to: Let a good guy go. #400672

    Hi Laeolithia,

    I apologise in advance if I’m being too blunt  but do you think it’s possible that you have an avoidant attachment style, and that you previously pursued men who you subconsciously knew were unavailable, and that you rejected the nice available guy because of your issues?  You mentioned that he urged you to get help with your codependency issues.

    People who have avoidant attachment styles often push others away  and it’s only when they realise there is no chance of getting together with them they can allow themselves to feel love for that person.

    in reply to: School Bullying #400671

    Thank you for your post Anita, and if the young lady is reading this, I’m sorry for what she went through.  I went to a Catholic girls school.  I was bullied but most of it was emotional.  I was constantly ridiculed and laughed at. There was domestic violence in my home.  Both of my parents had serious issues, and my older sister was physically and emotionally violent towards me.  I became suicidal at 15 because I was so lonely and felt so hopeless.  I did make a serious attempt on my life and was hospitalised.  I saw a psychiatrist for a while.  I decided that as soon as I was able, I would enter an occupation which would enable me to leave school and home early.  And that is what I did, leaving Ho mn e at 16.

    It was probably the best thing I could have done for myself, but my hone and school life had a lasting effect on me in that I never had a lot of confidence in myself, a nb d I spent way too many years looking for love which I didn’t really find – not the type of love I thought I would anyway.

    I thank God that the internet didn’t exist when I was at school.  I did become a parent myself, and vowed I would never put my own child through what I experienced and I didn’t.  That’s not to say I was a perfect parent myself.  I did however remove my son from a highschool where there was notorious bullying, and despite my son having insisted he wanted to attend that school because he friends were there, he became very depressed at age 14 through being bullied.

    He loved his new school and thrived there.  The only sadness for him that his best friends parents wouldn’t let him move to the new school as well.  His friend hated it too.  They are both 33 years old now and still best friends.  They are like brothers.

    I don’t have a lot of friends, but I don’t care.  I have one very good friend, my son and my pets. – and another lady who hS been very kind to me. I’m grateful for the warmth and advice from here.  That’s enough for me.  The search for love and acceptance is over – what a relief.

    in reply to: I Feel So Rejected By Men #400670

    Thanks so much Anita.  I am going back to work Tuesday next week.  I wish I could have more time off work, but I will just have to wait a few months.

    I’m glad you are well. Nothing much to report here. I’m pleased to say that. I’m liking my life being very quiet.

    in reply to: I Feel So Rejected By Men #400122

    Thanks very much Anita.  I hope you have a nice weekend.

    in reply to: I Feel So Rejected By Men #400072

    Hello Anita.  Thank you very much for asking.  I am not too bad thanks.  How are you?  I hope you are well.


    I have taken around 10 days off work at short notice as I was becoming very runn-down.  As well, I have felt overwhelmed by all of the things I have had to do at home.  I have not been coping well with the disorganisation of my home.


    I have beenboff work around 5 days.  I get to sleep in. When I’m up, I’m either doing things with the dogs.


    I finally managed to go to the tip t oday.  Even though it’s been raining for a week, I just can’t put off getting rid of junk in.my back yard.  I have another few trips tomorrow, and then my yard will be okay.

    I’ve gotten my infra-red torch from Spain and been using it on the accupuncture points on the small dog and been doing hydrotherapy with her at home.

    I dont have money to go anywhere right now as I have had a lot of expenditures.


    Feeling a bit sad.  Tired.  Feels like life is just about working.  I have so little time.  I wish I could have more time off work, but not to be right now.


    Big Hugs Anita and Helecat.

    Well my little dig is having a full blood test and setum Phenomav on the 29th and I’m told this will detect if she dies indeed have Cushings.  Anita, I’m wondering if your friend has had blood tests on his dog.  My dog has mire symptoms of Cushings than the drinking and weeing.  She has panting and seizures and the hair on either side of her flank has become sparse.  In Vusibgs, this is caused by the raised Cortisone level.  She also has fairly rapid wasting of muscles in her back legs which is affecting her walking.

    I don’t do it all of the time, but when I have had enough, I put a new born baby diaper on her.  You can buy diapers especially fir dogs.  I do have a dog door but often the little one doesn’t make it in time. She really is drinking a LOT.

    As digs age, often their kidneys and liver deteriorate, but a lot can be done to manage with diet, supplements and medication.  There are special prescription diets fir dogs and cats fir renal and gastro-intestinal.  They are made by Holls and Royal Canon, and at least here in Oz, you need a prescription from a vet to buy them.

    Other thing which might be suggested for your friend is a second opinion from another vet.

    I was VERY happy and surprised today to learn that our vet practices acupuncture and the accupressure with the red lights.  I am going to ask her if she can do initial red light therapy on my dog and supervise/instruct me on doing the maintenance red light therapy.

    Oh Helecat, that must have been so worrying for you.  Im so pleased to see there is so much more now we can do to help our old pets live a good life and often pain-free.  I see a lot of the American members on the dog health forums I belong to give their dogs Cannabis Oil treatments.  It’s not quite as big here yet.  I know that there are some concerns with some vets about it in that AT THIS STAGE, the amounts of various chemicals within the cannabis oil is not completely predictable and so there is a risk they can overdose.  Hemp SEED Oil is meant to be safer as the THC has been removed.  They are bith meant to be good for many senior dogs as they help with joint pain, skin, coat and appetite.

    There is also an eye medication which has been very successful in arresting eye cataracts, a common cause of blindness in old dogs. You can buy over the counter in USA, but it’s very new here so you need a vet prescription.

    My dog did have another seizure tonight. The first in about a week now.  I gave her diazepam into her tiny butt hole with a Q tip as instructed by vet, and it ended sooner than the others. Her tiny heart was racing and shecwas panting.  That’s the raised Cortisol levels bringing on the seizure and causing the panting and fast heart.  I pray we can get all of this under control. The sooner the better.  One more week and the medicines will arrive.

    We also have something here now which I belueve started in USA but perhaps by another name. It’s know as The Nosh Priject.  Developed by Vet Nutritionists, you can either buy their frozen fresh food or make your own following their recipe cards. You buy their vitamin powder call Nurture 27 which has 27 essential vitamins and minerals they need daily.  The powder is very affordable and the recipes easy. You need to make with human grade meat and veg. The recipes are good enough for humans to eat too!

    I’m not working tomorrow and have lots to do here.  The boss has given me an extra 2 weeks work – that is as far ahead as the roster has been filled for all of the staff.  I’m very happy at that workplace  – apart from the long hours – many 12 hour days.

    We are having government elections here on the 21st May.  I so hope this govt is voted out. Prime Minister was big admirer of Trump and is the worst prime minister we have ever had.

    That’s about it from me. Hope you are both keeping well. XXX


    in reply to: My sexual past ruining relationships #398563

    Hi David,

    I’m glad too to read that you have blocked her. People are all different.  I don’t think I would ever cv er have gone as far as she has.  I was in a long-term relationship once and suspected my partner was cheating or SOMETHING.  I found he was strongly connected to another woman so I tracked her down and introduced myself to her  sure enough, he was “chasing” this woman big time.  We compared a lot of notes, and we actually got along very well. The ex denied that he was pursuing the woman.  A year later, similar thing happened with another woman, and she claimed to have been in a committed relationship with him for 4 months.  I simply wiped my hands of him.  I blocked him.  I did not respond to the flowers and notes on my doorstep, and eventually, he went away. One of the best things I ever did.

    That ex, at one time near the end of the relationship had wanted to “choose a man for me to have a one night stand with”   I flat out refused.  At the end of the day, in these matters we make our own choices and have to take responsibility for them.  He isn’t the only man who wanted me to do similar.  Frankly, the idea of that sort of thing revolted me, and I won’t compromise that part of myself for anyone.

    These days, I am much happier without any men in my life (in an intimate way).  If I was younger, I might feel differently. I don’t buy it that she is just hurt.  I think she has her own issues, but best for you to simply move on and don’t buy into any of this.

    I think and hope you have learnt a lot from this, and hope you continue with your therapist.


    Hi Anita and Helacat. Nice to be in contact with you both again.  Yes Anita, there are several other treatments which claim to control seizures. For the moment, I won’t take doggie off the Phenytoin but possible I will gradually reduce him off it under vet supervision but I am a long way from that at the moment.

    I have had to make some big changes to the diet, and I tried to do it too quickly and she got terrible diarrhoea so it all take time.

    I’m buying a red and infrared torch to treat a few ailments, most urgently is the degeneration n in her hips and legs caused by the Cushings disease.  Hopefully, I will be able to at least slow down arthritis in the other dog.

    I’m planning to do online course with a woman in Spain on Photonic Therapy in Accupressure in Vet Health.  It is used with horses as well and may b e later I will do her horse classes but for now going to stick with dogs.

    I’ve also attended small parts of an online summit in senior dog care with all speakers being vets.  I’m paying membership so I can go back and watch recordings of speakers I missed out on and access online resources.

    Looks like it’s going to be a nice day here.  We had a few days of rain and clouds and that had been forecast into today.

    I’m working later today and this evening, but I would love to be home.

    Thank you for your kind words about me. I hope your dog is healthy and happy now and both of you are well.  Have a great day. 😁


    Hi Helecat.  I’m doing okay thanks but I h a ‘ve felt tired for a long time.  The thing I have been stressed about the most h a s been my dog (dogs).  I have h d hard times in my life where it has just been them and me.  There was a time that I was so depressed, I didn’t want to be around, but I would never abandon them – so they ate more than just dogs or even family.  T hey are my therapy dogs and one of the most stable things in my life.

    in reply to: communicating honestly or 'overly positive' #398256

    Oh darn, you have made me hungry.  So long as there is plenty of jam and cream, all scones taste perfect to men, and that’s the truth.

    in reply to: I Feel So Rejected By Men #398254

    So glad that’s over – at least for now

Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 200 total)