Hi Brian,

Regarding job application as, for me at least, that’s something I have learned to our a lot if preparation into before the interview – the job requirements and the organisation, especially through asking others who have worked for that organisation or in that type if position. As I have worked in the same field many years, th asts not too difficult.

I’m very happy in my current job, largely because I like the people and I feel I fit in.  However, I have had jobs which caused me a lot of unhappiness and where people who just plain nasty.  I have had a couple jobs now in the same o organisation- one I only stayed in for 3 months.  The staff treated some of the ,  clients badly, and they soon knew I wouldn’t follow suit.  I reported them to management. It turned out they didn’t like these people either and they had wanted to get rid of some if them for years, but it’s not always easy.

Regarding outside of the workplace, like you, I’ve got just a few good friends, one in particular, and I’m comfortable with that. I really don’t need lots of people in my life, just a few good ones.

Hi Ivy,

I’m sorry I am working all weekend but finish tomorrow.i just loved the funny names of your characters and the quirky plot.  It was fun!

I’m feeling for you as I know what you are going through. I think that after such a short time together, it’s understandable that he doesn’t want to commit – that’s healthy. I think that the healthiest thing is for people to take things slow and you would have put yourself in a better place mentally and emotionally if you could do same as he has said.

Having said that, I can’t do relationships anymore although that could change. The anxiety is part of it. Last time was so bad, I just couldn’t put myself through that.

Best thing is to just get on with your life. It’s best if he comes back that you have more to tell him about than you were waiting for his texts or calls. You will feel better too.

Hi Arie,

I have been reading your posts but didn’t feel I could contribute a lot.

I have had relationships where I have become over-attached way too soon, and have remained anxiously attached. These relationships caused me so much mental and emotional anguish. In the end though, I have had to break away from them and work on myself.

If you read articles online about attachment styles, we often attach ourselves to people who are avoidant.

I was in a relationship around 5 years with somebody who came out and told me he is avoidant. He never wanted to change though and any relationship with him would have to be on his terms of simply accepting his avoidant personality and having a lifestyle of my own which was very independent of him.

My son and friends came to dislike him very much, and being in a relationship with him became very one-sided and lonely.

I wasted too many years and needless to say, I can’t get those years back and perhaps have met somebody more suitable. In fact, all of my life, I just went from one bad relationship to another.

You sound young, and likely have a lot more time to get to know yourself, and find out what qualities you re a lot want in a partner.

I love the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying too.  That book really stands out to me as well. I did read Louise Hay as well, and her books were very beautiful.  I know I feel at my best when I listen to recordings of guided meditations.  I live in the country and am not easily accessible to classes though a number if years ago, I studied 2 different types of Budhism – Tibetan through classes and a Japanese branch called Soka Gakkai which was in a group which met weekly. Part of the the focus of the second group was chanting. Then they would have some formal learning, and then informal discussion and friendship.  For a while we were also doing Mandela art together which was fun and relaxing.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by HoneyBlossom.