I hate letting people go. It’s the least favorite part of running a business.

This is what I’ve done, and it’s not honest but seems to work nicely: First, give him a heads up that things are going to change by the New Year. That you are revamping the company. That money is tight and you’re letting people go or cutting salaries.

Hire an intern or young person to be his assistant. Now, deep in his heart of hearts he knows that he’s not doing a good job. Knowing that he may only have a few months and that there’s new blood that could take over his job ~ You should expect great improvements!

Then, at the beginning of the New Year, say that as he knows, change has come. That you are giving him a new, smaller job with a smaller salary or letting him go. If you’re lucky he will already have moved on or improved so much the meeting isn’t necessary!

OR! Bite the bullet and say, “It’s not working”.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

So it’s simple. Revisit her ten or fifteen years later. At least she’s mature enough to realize the depth of her own immaturity. What woman can’t handle kids part time? Even her own?? I know you love her, but Yikes! She sounds like a kid herself. Consider it a bullet dodged.

I also thought of something ~ I bet she’s feeling very real GUILT about her own kids. Like, “OK, I only see them a few times a week, and now I’m seeing his kids for half the week, so why did I give up my kids, when I’m going to be surrounded by kids anyway???”

• This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

Hi there,

A long time ago, I was you! I worked as a model for like, five minutes, that’s how long this ethereal beauty lasts. I would get the creepy gazes. The nerve wracking cat calls. The praise. But, I’m an introvert, so it was, for them, like watching a rainbow or a sunset. Admiration but no connection.

And then the maddening actually liking someone and they’re all, “Eh.” The paradox killed me!!

This is what will happen: You will meet someone who will also be enchantingly beautiful, and also enchanting in his own shyness. And other people will comment on how gorgeous you look together. The guy you like/d will get his interest perked up by 1 – 10%. But it will be too little and too late for him.

And, yes, you and your new partner’s looks will fade so you are one day merely cute or good looking. But you will look out at the world with the same starry wise eyes.

Don’t you see? You are already free, open and honest. And it’s painful sometimes. You’re beautiful. You’re an introvert. Continue living with your nature and it will all work out.

Hi Jen,

That’s great!

I would let him continue to take the lead. Some people would say wait a few days before responding, but it’s up to you.

OK, you had your communication, now sit back and wait for him to contact you again! And have fun in the meantime with YOU!

Inky

Hi earthian,

Maybe you don’t take your life seriously because you don’t take you seriously.

Dreams are great, but when it’s time to act on them, it is typical to “freeze”.

“Because, what if you put in all this time and effort and it didn’t work out? It’s better to be a “loser” because you didn’t try than to be one because you gave it your all and found lacking. Then that’s “proof” that you are.” That’s what your subconscious mind is saying.

The good news is you’re still young. Can you work for someone else and have your own projects going on as a weekend hobby? Maybe you’re freezing because you think it has to be all or nothing. Like, work for an automotive company first. Or, do things in the business that haven’t been done before. Blog about it. Become a guru. Do it for the love of cars and bikes, not for fame or fortune.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

Interest from a major label? OK, in like, ten days or so, have your agent/band member/studio communicate with him on that. i.e. “Hey, Prometheus Records wants to sign a contract, we have a meeting with our studio/lawyer/agent on Oct. 1st/.”

But honestly? Stay away from him.

He’s too much and not enough.

I think I can speak for everyone that we’ve all been through this. And we’ve also had that “Oh God” feeling when we’re trying to end a relationship and be kind but we keep getting contacted. Don’t give him any more “Oh God” feelings concerning you. Pavlov’s dog in reverse.

Hi Jen,

Sorry to interrupt the dialog! Can I just add, that I know this is really, really hard. But that, sometimes, the more you poke, prod, guess, make contact, make indirect contact, etc. the more it won’t work. You are in that territory.

Think of it like taking medicine. “Oh, if one Tablespoon is recommended, then drinking the bottle should do it!” but in reality, your medicine would then become your poison.

So, yes, let’s say two/three contacts is the very most you can do to make your situation better. However, after that third contact, a fourth, would start putting you going in the opposite direction, a fifth you become an irritant, a sixth you are now the crazy stalker chick.

Don’t be the crazy stalker chick. Do you hear what I’m saying to you?? For goodness sake, give the boy some breathing room ~ a chance to miss you! Not breathing room as in “Thank God she’s finally gone”. But that means you have to stop. Now!

This will be difficult. No texting, calling, talking to your friends, his friends, gifting, running into. The sooner you stop, the sooner he will contact you ~ on his own.

Hi Lexiis,

This is my gut feeling after reading your post: I don’t think he was cheating ~ I do think he liked having an admirer/groupie. A fan club. An option. An ego boost. Yes, it is very possible he likes the girl and that he was playing you both. But only in his mind. Know what I mean?

Anyway, let him “have” her. She “won”. But only because you dropped out of the game once you found out there was one. So what will happen is he will chase you and/or then will go to her, but she will dump him once she sees no one else is having him.

So dump him because the overall thing was tumultuous. The texting/FB/SnapChat fan-girl chalk up to a mental eyeroll provoker.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by Inky.