Forum Replies Created
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Hi Lada,
Yeah, the “Voice” may not be from your intuition or your Higher Self. It masquerades as that though! What would happen if you told it to go away, or be quiet? Or said, “I don’t accept that”?
Try going with your emotions. What courses do you actually love taking? What do you actually love doing? Not what we’re good at, not what we “think” we should like. That is the Golden Path. Follow that path (without alcohol or doing anything bad for you of course). See what happens!
Best,
Inky
Hi vidalevi,
Maybe he thought you were ignoring him when you’d pass by on the way to work. In our commute, we do see “regulars”. Maybe he thought you were snubbing him or didn’t like him. And now he’s taking it out on you at the bank! And sometimes, people just don’t dig each other.
Yes, talk to his manager. I actually did that when I was a kid and the clerk was giving me a hard time (the bank machine ate my card). I was expected to come back at the end of the day (“Go shopping”) to get it. Meanwhile I had to drive up to college eight hours away. In a panic I complained, the manager snapped his fingers, three guys swept over to the machine and I got my card back in five minutes. The clerk’s face turned pale.
What do you have to lose?
Best,
Inky
Hi Alex,
We are not living in the Infamous Mommy Wars anymore. I’m a SAHM and when I want to work you can find me, like you, at my DH’s office part time. No one looks down on me. I choose to primarily stay home. Most of my mommy friends did make it back in the work place ~ when their children were at school. They were, let’s see, a para professional, a realtor, a coffee shop lady, and a teacher. Another friend hasn’t officially worked in eighteen years (!) She holds her head up, and runs the National Day of Prayer with me in our town. No one sneers at her. Trust me. She has a beautiful home, and is an expert budgeter!
Being an active mother of two can be put in a resume, actually. You can pad it up by being a community leader. Another friend ran a Pack for the Boy Scouts and put that in her resume, and they commented on it as they were Scout parents and knew how tough it was!
Give yourself a break. There are tons of being a Mommy on a Budget books. You will be doing your DH a favor by NOT shelling out more $$ for a nanny. Stay with your kids.
I have three kids and I can tell you without a doubt that if I weren’t a stay at home mom *they* wouldn’t have been as successful. I may get TONS of crap for saying that, but it’s true. Over the years I was the Den/Pack Mom, Charity League Mom, Church Mom, Room Mom, Sailing Mom, Chess Mom. I watched after the neighborhood kids, too. I could stay home when they were sick and pick them up during emergencies. I could travel with them during the summers for the sports which DOES happen during that time and for a lot of things. DD was in National Charity League and I made sure we did that during summers and breaks.
And if you continue to be a student, don’t beat yourself up for that either! You do you! Working part time at DH’s office sounds great too!
Been There,
Inky
Hi buddah88,
I totally agree 100% with Brav3’s first line in his last paragraph. NPD or not, sometimes people act like jerks or ARE jerks, and we try to make ourselves feel better by giving them a lay man’s diagnosis. Not to be flip, and this is not you, but do you know how many women label their ex as a Narcissist? Or “they must have have a Phobia for Commitment”, etc.
My dad has Bipolar Disorder (and is a Narcissist). He was diagnosed after flying into rages and almost bankrupting himself during his highs. The diagnosis comes for real when even the person afflicted knows that something is terribly, terribly wrong. On his medication he’s “fine”, but it is still “all about him” (Narcissism is often BPD’s twin).
Advice: If it’s NPD, move on. If it’s not, move on.
Sorry this is bad news.
Inky
Consider that abusive people put others down ONLY so they don’t think they’re “All That”. For example, last year I changed my Profile Pic and got a lot of “Likes” and compliments. Too many for one character. One of my guy friends (whose friendship I should have thrown in a fiery volcano long ago) PM’d me: “My spidey senses are tingling. Isn’t that picture from like ten years ago? You don’t look like that now, you’re deceiving people, you must have Photo Shopped that” etc.” Basically negating the compliments!
Religion: I disliked Christianity, and then I was Baptized in the Spirit (quite suddenly, long story!). And since then never really found God in a church per se. Meaning following Christ had little or nothing to do with the actual programs, faith statements or buildings of the church. I still go to one, but they are always surprised and sometimes a few threatened (LOL) when they see me out in the community doing His own thing, if you know what I mean. ;)… I go for the community… Don’t worry, it sounds like you will find your path!
Hi Gigi,
Eating right, exercising and refraining from drinking ~ they are all good in and of themselves, but it’s like you are Polishing Diamonds. Concentrating on the little things to somehow atone for all the bad things done by you and to you. You cry because you did good small things, but you feel like you don’t deserve to be proud of them or merit their effects. And that they’re paradoxically no big deal. Or that you’re acting as if you are perfect.
At least that’s how I feel when I concentrate on minutia. (Not that Wellness is minutia, but you know what I mean).
What you want and need is one big Do Over. Some people do this by accepting Jesus Christ. Others say, “NO! I DON’T accept that!” (concerning painful remarks and actions done to you in your past). You can also say, “I forgive myself for all the crappy things I did when I was twenty (or any age).” Then every day add on a year. This is very clearing and powerful.
You can literally wake up and say “LIFE DO OVER!” and start living, looking forward, and never back ~ today!
Hope that helps!
Inky
Hi HippieChick,
There’s another factor besides your feelings, or even your partner’s. It’s the other person you’d bring along for the ride! When a couple brings in a third, there is a TOTALLY (no guilt here) unconscious mindset that the couple is the one in control, the Primary. Well, human nature being what it is, even if the third party is “cool” s/he does have the potential to be emotional/insecure/attached/jealous as well!
There’s nothing more boring than Convention, and yet, there is a reason why Monogamy is the way to go (for most people most of the time).
I say download an app ~ “Shall We Date?” has a great line! 😉 And have fun THAT way!
Best,
Inky
Oh pat02,
You are a victim of Gang Stalking! This girl IS obsessed with you. With her personality, I think she *might* find someone/something else to be obsessed with one day.
I know it’s not fair, but can you go off social media? Block and/or hide her and her friends?
Some other thoughts come to mind. Secretly (the key word here) transferring, moving, changing your numbers. Travelling abroad.
Giving her a restraining order. THAT will give her something REAL to talk about! There is no socially acceptable way to say, “Can you believe so-and-so gave me a restraining order?” without sounding crazy.
Can you be direct with her: “Stop shadowing my life”.
My DH’s ex girlfriend used to do that to HIM: She joined his club, got a job in his office, became friends with his parents. By always being in each of his sub-worlds she would be in his life. When he met me and moved on, she did eventually quit the job and the club, and finally moved after his parents told her he was engaged.
She could be romantically obsessed with you. And acting all angry because she doesn’t like it herself. I know it sounds weird. But the good news is that as more time goes by the more likely it is that she will focus on her next victim.
Good Luck!
Inky
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 