Sure Anita. Also, I talked to my boyfriend about why am I going to talk to her. He said he is ready to talk to my sister but it will just be a FYI, he does not intend to have her approval.

But he said since you know your sister better, tell me what to say to her to not make things worse for us and when should i do it.

3. He says he sees my sister more clearly now after she used his trust against him. So he knows her hold over my parents. He says she won’t stop trying till the last moment. So, it will be really hard to convince my parents but he says that they are mature people, if they see us succeeding in our respective fields and becoming better in handling our lives, they would appreciate us. He says to outsiders we cannot explain our level of understanding so only time can assure them. Nothing else.

4.  He just wanted me to tell my family that I am still dating him so that they are well prepared in advance about the relationship by the time we go to talk to them about the future if we find ourselves that compatible. He says after this, we shall straightway talk to both set of parents when I have a job as well. He has been working as a software engineer for the past 6 years so he has a stability that I dont have currently.

There are a lot of uncomfortable stuff we wouldn’t rather not tell everyone and for both of us, the current situation is that nearly all his friends and my family members, even few cousins and relatives know.

He wants to talk to her. In fact i had made it clear in November itself that last time the first impact was on me so the next time he would initiate and take the first blow.

Thank you Mark for taking out your time to talk to me. I really appreciate it.

He although does not make it apparent, he feels bad that his friend is suddenly so against him. Still, he says he will be if my sister does not agree but he wants to seek approval of my parents. He says it will affect our relation in future since eventually it will make me unhappy.

As far as I know my parents, they shall agree if that is what makes me truly happy. But not my sister. It’s really hard to predict her reaction.

Okay so, as I have mentioned before, the guy I am dating was my sister’s friend. I am joining my Ph.D. in June and since I will be away from home, He wants me to not hide anything about us dating from my parents or siblings. I told my parents that I am dating him and that they should form their own opinions after they meet him instead of borrowing my sister’s. They agreed.

Also, the break that he said we should undertake in Dec., well it lasted for only a week. Neither of us found any point in staying away when we are happy together and also doing well in our respective lives when we have one another. But I didn’t say anything about the break to my sister nor did I tell her when we resolved the break. However, My mum told her about the break. She then resumed talking to me. I didn’t know the reason she was normal to me. I thought she was okay with it now. Later when I got to know about the actual situation that my sister thought I was on a break with my guy, I thought I will sort it out when my entrance exams get over. My last exam was on the 3rd of April. I decided and spoke to my parents about the relationship and I think I should talk to my sister as well. She is in another city and will be visiting soon, but my dilemma here is how to proceed. Although I don’t care for her approval, the guy I am dating, well he wants that even if she isn’t happy about it, she should at least know so that she doesn’t come to know from an outside source and think that we lied to her about the relation.

I don’t know how to proceed in this. To be honest, I am a bit tired confessing and convincing people! I wish I was living in a western country where children tell their parents and family about their decision and just leave them to deal with their own reactions.

Yeah that  ….. Hehe… It has to be that way…

Yes I am… This is some really valuable advice… I will remind myself of this everytime I feel I am slipping into that position.

I was afraid of others knowing I am weak because I was afraid that when others get to know… I will finally come out of my self fed imagination that I am this strong person who will break if I have this self realisation that I am not that strong.