Oh, if you know you can and you want to, go for it! Those are normal and real concerns you mentioned. I went through it and have no regrets, myself. One other thing- do it because you would do it with or without the person you want to be with. Because the safety net is only you. Good luck!

Interesting. Something you just said is very telling to me. “ahh can I really do this?” should be “ahh do I really want to do this?” Do you see the difference? Which country- if you don’t mind me asking?

Love is conditional with hopes of getting the same in return. I’m speaking of mature love according to John Gottman “acceptance, emotional support, commitment, calmness, respect, caring, kindness, friendship, and consideration” Unconditional love is ideal only if it’s not one-sided.

So your main question is “how do I know when to make a decision if I can’t solve the problem immediately?” Here are some things to consider:
1. put off making a decision until you’re thinking clearly (that is an act in the moment)
2. maybe right now you don’t have enough information to make an informed decision. (so the act of gathering/seeking is an act in the moment)
3. if you can’t decide on acting vs not acting now logically, then think about it by risk vs gain. i.e. if you’re bleeding out, you would go to the doc immediately..you wouldn’t think about it, right?
4. think of the worst case senario in any outcome of your decision. If you can handle it, then just do it and take responsibility for it. “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst”
5. your gut instinct is important. Don’t overthink things. the fact that you are overthinking this much, tells me you are ignoring your feelings. now that isn’t logical, is it?

Hi Steve

You’re right! I shouldn’t worry about the pace. It’s just hard not knowing where I stand exactly. I keep getting mixed signals and it’s driving me insane! haha I’m sorry that you’re feeling down about he whole online dating scene. I used to be there myself and I know that feeling too. I did get a lot of messages but not from the one’s I wanted. It was frustrating, so I just stopped logging in. Perhaps, that is what those other women did too-gave up? Maybe they are not intentionally ignoring you. I probably should just delete my account so other guys don’t feel the way you do about it. (just curious-what part of the world are you in?)

That’s a beautiful response, Matt! I agree! Paul, I’m in the same boat, except I haven’t expressed those overwhelming feelings for this very reason. As Matt says, we just have to silently wish for love to grow on their end as well.