Dear all,

I think everyone here is just trying to do their best. I suggested to Jessica that she should reach out to a local group that she can talk to.

Thanks,
Jennifer

A wee bit sad, a titbit mad
My eyes droopy, from the meal I just had

What is spondyloslisthesis? lol

Dear Amaranth:

First, I feel that you haven’t given yourself enough credit! You mention that there is a “curse” following you. I actually am thinking it is quite the opposite! You alone have been supporting your entire family on your own income…that includes your fiancé, son & 2 dogs…one person supporting 4…adding anxiety & ADHD on top of that…that is a HUGE accomplishment itself! See how far you have come along…that is a “miracle” to me already!

Second, you mention about living on large land with surrounded by woods and few people….do you know any friends, neighbours or anyone out there that have the same vision? Maybe you guys can chip in together to find a place. Or maybe you can inquire into joining one of these “off-the-grid” communities & help pay the “bills” by doing communal chores.

I don’t know which country you are from but here are a few examples of these communities:
United States: http://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/responsible-living/stories/off-the-grid-communities-5-places-carving-a-sustainable-path
Canada: http://www.voicefromthebush.com/
England: http://naturalhomes.org/tinkersbubble.htm

Lastly, as Anita already mentioned…take little steps in life. Go for a short walk, enjoy the artwork your son draws, admire the trees and grass that are surrounding you. Some people in other parts of the world may not be so lucky…there are children around the world dying everyday from malaria, lack of clean water, war etc…many things that we take for granted. You can start counting the things that you have instead of the things that you don’t have….give thanks for 5 things everyday…a shift can slowly help…

Here’s a guided relaxation meditation youtube video you can follow…it is best to listen with earphones so you can zone out…

Good luck!!
Jennifer

Thanks everyone for their insight! It has helped me navigate better. 🙂

Just wanted to share a youtube video – Eckhart Tolle’s explanation of “ego vs healthy self esteem”.

Enjoy!
Jennifer

Interesting point you raise, Jack!

When we help others, we inadvertently will trigger the ego. I think the key is awareness and to not let our ego totally take over. As you pointed out, I also have seen it in some of the posts…some people immediately take one side or other…the more important thing is to not others trigger our own ego.

For me, I feel compassion for myself & others when responding because someone else has been asking a question that has been circling in my head, but I never got a chance to articulate externally….so I sort of experience this “ah-ha” awakening moment.

I pick and choose which posts to respond…and I only respond to the ones that I can relate to. I feel more that we are sharing thoughts rather than one person is above the other. The concept of non-duality and that we are all interdependent human beings reminds me of this.

Take care!
Jennifer

Dear J:

Thanks for sharing. You are very strong and intelligent. The fact that you can write this means you have “awakened” to reality. That is a big step. It seems that your family is oblivious to it and they are suffering without knowing it. You are the smart one!

It sounds like you were one of the middle children that was neglected and not properly cared for. This simple realization can help change your future. I didn’t realize the impact my parents had on me until I was 29 years old…I realized you are never too late to start making a difference for yourself.

It is very difficult to confront family who is blind to what they are doing. It’s become a negative habit for them & it’s hard to break them out of it. May I suggest finding friends or other people who are positive to hang around….some college or high school friends whom you have still kept in contact. Do fun things for yourself…it doesn’t have to cost much…you can enjoy an afternoon roaming around town & do something that you enjoy…could be simple as walking in a park, doing arts/crafts, taking photos, whatever your hobby may be. Find meetup groups that share your same interest…this could maybe help in finding a job you desire.

The important thing right now is to focus on you. I know it sounds selfish but it is not. Focus on what makes you happy, what is important to you. Once you have found your own happiness, your family will realize that you also have a voice that needs to be heard.
By the way, I am also currently unemployed….me and my friends call it “funemployed” 🙂

Steve Jobs & Bill Gates both did not finish university…but yet they built big careers for themselves. The famous spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, who wrote the book ‘Power of Now’ spent two years sitting in park benches, but is now guiding others to happiness on Oprah TV. James Cameron was a truck driver before he made it big with being a filmmaker for many movies including Titanic. What I am saying is don’t let your siblings get you down. Find your passion, pursue your dream…with hard work & patience, you can achieve your own happiness & success.

I wish you the best of luck!
Jennifer

Dear Anita,

I like your response! Very well thought out! I think parents often have many blind spots where they are unaware of what is important to their children. And thus, handing down issues to their children which then creates the same cycle when the children grow up.

Anita – Jessica & I connected through e-mail today. If you can join us, that would be great. My e-mail is menchiesjen@gmail.com.

Thanks & hope to hear from you!
Jennifer

And by the way, I’m leaving my job in accounting to go study to become a youth worker…to help people like you, Jessica. So don’t feel at all you are a burden. In fact, we are learning so much from you and feeling your pain together with you. Take good care ok?