Hi Connie,

This is fantastic news! I’m so glad you are doing better. Keep up the good work. Feel free to post anytime.

Hi Lucy,

Please forgive yourself. You did not know what you were doing. Many children until about the age of about six have repressed memories. I remember once, my father told me he had to take me out of kindergarten and first grade and put me in a private school because I was bullied so often. I remember none of this. The memories repressed. The children that you bullied were probably so young, that they do not remember or have repressed memories.

I was then put back in a public school at the age of 8 years old, again I was bullied terribly. I won’t go into detail, but I remember most of it, what was said, violence, everything. Again, I was put into an Academy, my foster parents became so fed up with public schools not doing enough about bullying I guess I don’t remember all the details. We moved out of state, into a small town, I was 12 years old, considered the “smart” kid. If I did not share my homework answers with bullies at this new public school, they would steal my lunch, and make mocking remarks about me in the cafeteria, or take my books and write faces and mean things on them. They bullied others too. They took my lunch money or slammed me against my locker. I got very depressed. It was taken up with the principal and the bullies got expelled from school.

What I am trying to say, is that, these kids were most likely bullied after you. They may have been Too young to remember you. But many kids who get bullied, it usually doesn’t happen once by one person, it goes on.

All you can do, is forgive yourself. Ask God for guidance. Talk to someone if you need to. If someone was abused as a child, they learn from that, and do that to others. It is beyond your control, unless your parents took you to a professional counselor, but many parents don’t do this. Go easy on yourself, it’s all in the past, they have moved on, and most likely have happy lives and have forgotten. Forgive yourself.

You’re welcome, please post anytime..

Hi Rich,

I can very much relate to your post. You don’t have to answer this, if you are not comfortable, but I maybe able to provide some insight. Did you have any trauma as a child, emotional? Verbal? Abandonment? Neglect?

I am happy to hear things are going well for you. Thanks for being positive and the information.

Hi Sophie,

I am very sure, you have nothing to worry about. He may be going about his day, but he is still including and seeing you. I think he is very independent, and wants an independent woman. Just because he is going about his day, does not mean he is not thinking about you. He may just be very busy and can’t get around to texting most of the day due to responsibilities. Show him your independent side. Have some interests outside of him. This will make you appear more interesting and a mystery to him.

Try some volunteer work, maybe at a local animal sanctuary/shelter, a soup kitchen, volunteer to walk someone’s dog, take some hobbies, join your local YMCA, hang out with your friends more. Don’t make him your world or the center of your life, because this is the quickest way to scare men off. Try to not show him insecurities and that you are perfectly fine, thank you very much (lol) without him. Don’t tell him “you need him” don’t plead for his time or attention. After doing this, see if there is a change of his behaviour about you. He may start showing more interest in your life, now that you are not so “available” and “accessible” to him. Make him work for you. Be a mystery.

If all this does not work, and he is not giving you the love, attention and love you deserve, it may be time to rethink this relationship and find someone who does. Keep us posted.

Hi Flossy,

Tell yourself, that when you send him a text, you will wait 24 hours, and if you don’t hear from him, then and only then, you can send him another text, or better yet, wait 48 hours. Because it will only scare him off. Normally when e-mailing or texting, we expect someone to respond right away and if they don’t we get anxious. However, remember before texting all we had were phones, we never expected someone to return our call 5 minutes or an hour later. So think of your text as a phone call, keep calm and be patient, he will get back to you.

Better yet, instead of texting all the time, what about just talking to each other on the phone? Texting seems so distant and impersonal. You don’t get to hear that persons voice. I don’t know, but if I had a significant other I would much rather see them in person, rather than social media and texting. So try to relax, and wait at least 24 hours before texting him, or just hold out and wait until he texts you back.

Hi Ana Iris,

I can relate to your post, I am probably quite a bit older than you, but I have several mental health diagnosis that I am in intensive therapy for, and sadly, I have never been able to maintain a long term relationship. All I knew as a child was an Alcoholic mother who threw beer bottles, went on drinking binges, abandoned my siblings and I in motels, I had a nanny who my dad hired, she loved us very much, but my father would travel alot for business and he did not know my mother would come home drunk and fire the nanny again leaving us alone. I did not receive the love and nurturing I needed as a child, all I knew was turbulence and chaos. Even though, I am in intensive therapy and medication, I still have been unable to date or have a healthy relationship.

Over the years and decades, I have seen so many friends get married, have long term happy relationships. When my co-workers talked about their weekends with their husbands or boyfriends, I couldn’t deal with it and walked away. I have never gone to weddings although I have been invited, because it would have depressed me. I have only been to my 1/2 brothers and my Dad’s wedding and couldnt wait to leave. I felt like a loser and lonely.

Now, I am at the age, where I don’t mind if I will be single for the rest of my life because I see so many divorces or people in bad or unhappy, toxic relationships. Sometimes the grass is not greener on the other side.