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Mark,
I don’t know if this could be the cause of it but my parents are pretty uninvolved in my life. My dad is always at his job and my mom has depression so she is in bed a lot. I was directionless and friendless until the age of 14 when my cousin and I got super close and she basically became my parent. She told me what to do and how to act in certain situations. I was really motivated to start my life when my cousin came into the picture because I spent all day doing nothing. I think I did nothing because I had no guidance from my parents. When my cousin helped me, she basically gave me the message that if I want to make friends I needed to look pretty. So I started dressing very nice, doing my hair and makeup, and I made a lot of friends. Then I met one of my best friends who is beautiful and we became super close, but I noticed how much attention she got for her looks. I learned that being pretty = the key to life. Even before my cousin, when I had no friends, I would still occasionally get approached by a guy in my class because he thought I was pretty. For a time, my only social interactions with people in my class were guys who thought I was pretty. That didn’t help.
Inky,
I think I am going to follow that advice. But I need a little bit more time to think so I’ve decided that in the mean time I am just going to keep the new boy and my relationship as a friendship. We will be friends until I make the decision to break up with my boyfriend or not. I’m not counting on this new guy to take my boyfriend’s place of course. I only want to break up with my boyfriend if it is the best decision for myself. But I can’t get over how much he seems to like me seriously. I have an essay due next week and he wants to help me with it and he even offered to do research on the subject to help me. He keeps offering to do things for me in a very caring way that screams “I am able to take care of you” it is weird. I know it is just infatuation since we just met, but the thing that makes him so attractive to me is he is a little bit cold and distant when you first meet him. The class is very small and he rarely talks in class. When I first met him I noticed he has a very “I don’t care about this” attitude. For some reason I find that so attractive since his coldness is mixed with the fact that he acts like he cares so much about my well being. It is like he is tough, cold-hearted, and strong when he has to be but he wants to show me his caring side to win me over.
To add more: I just need to explain a little bit more of why I am so attracted to this new kid. He is sweet and kind but not too much. I’m into bad boys and he seems to be that way from the outside. However, his personality shows that he is very kind and caring. His parents taught him how to treat a girl. He has never explicitly said he likes me but I can tell he does because he constantly offers to do favors for me, constantly tries to bring up hanging out, offers to drive me home, offers to help me with my homework, he tells me about his family and asks about mine. He asks me stupid questions like “what is your favorite color” he constantly goes out of his way to talk to me. We met in class and he always walks me to my dorm when the class is over. My dorm is further away from the building than his is yet he still walks me. Ugh. I seriously can’t get him off my mind. I love that he knows exactly what to do to get the girl he wants. I love how smart he is. He is studying to be a neurosurgeon and is just very smart. Yet he claims he thinks I am sooo smart when in reality he is very smart. The only reason he thinks I am so smart is because I do very well in the class we have together. I seriously can’t get him off my mind but I love my boyfriend still…
also I know it’s wrong to snoop on people’s phones but I always use his phone to play games and he does the same with my phone. So it was natural for me to go on his phone but then I saw the text messages from his ex accidentally.
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