You both need healing. Two people can make each other strong and work through difficulties, but sometimes one refuses to admit to their problems, or doesn’t understand how to live with the other person which causes tension. If you get back together her problems need to be addressed and worked on.

Meditation is rather easy, you basically relax. There’s plenty of methods but the key is to relax. Some days you’ll clear your mind, others you’ll have a song stuck on repeat, or go through hurt feelings, it’s all fine so long as you don’t hold onto these thoughts. [Example, you think ‘what’s for dinner?’ Don’t start listing options. Instead, focus on your breath.] Very simple one you can do right now, turn off any music/tv, sit comfortably, close your eyes, and slowly breath in, then slowly breath out. Do this for ten deep breaths. Done. Next time try to do 20 slow deep breaths, then slowly work your way up. Poke around on this site, there’s a number of articles on meditation you might find interesting since there are so many forms.

You don’t have to worry about clearing your mind of thoughts. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t, don’t get discouraged. Focus on your breaths, repeat a phrase in your mind [peace, calm, love] or you could use soothing music, a metronome, bell, or other rhythmic sound to focus on. Again, the key is to relax, not to turn off all thoughts. Let them flow by.

I think it was my part-time job in high schools and college as a cook in a sports bar. I moved on to another kitchen job that paid more and gave more hours… Which the stress caused me to quit. I was the only dishwasher/prep/salad chef in the restaurant and on top of working from 9 am to 2 am 6 days a week I was also expected to clean the restaurant because the owner didn’t want to hire a cleaning staff. Then I went into sales. Another horrible experience later they fired me for low sales. Now I work in a cafe, alone, and thanks to the job I’ve got anxiety and depression. Go me. BUT I loved that first job, it had a descent pace, light hearted environment and other people to talk to. When I move next year I hope I can find a job like that one [just in an office instead of a kitchen]

Have fun, hopefully you gain something from the experience.

I should try something different today, but I don’t know what. I decided yesterday to start pacing the hallway at work when no one’s around but I think that’s madness not fun lol.

Well I like you pomplemous, if that’s enough [also watch the swears. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble] I kind of know what you’re going through, not being 100% sure about stuff and feeling a fraud when things go well. You might need professionals to help but TinyBuddha is a very friendly, open, and helpful community who [as I feel] just wants you to find joy inside and shine for the world. [Corny line, I’m in a really good mood] we could help each other out if you’d like.

I don’t weigh myself, I just get depressed. It’s not that I’m refusing to look to deny reality, until very recently I went to the gym 5 days a week, and ate a rather ‘Mediterranean’ diet, and I never lost a pound. I saw personal trainers, changed up my training routine, and went to many free classes. Still same weight. I quit the gym because I was sick of spending so much money for nothing. I’m still active, I walk everywhere, do yoga once a week, got back to biking, even reduced my sugar and meat intake, and while people say I’ve ‘toned’ I haven’t lost or gained a pound in 5 years. I get being too heavy or too thin is unhealthy, but sometimes you need to throw in the towel, accept this is your body, and move on from there. If I loose weight great [I pray I don’t gain any but if I do it isn’t the end of the world provided I’m still as active and healthy]

Meditation is free, so is walking. Journaling is another option. You could also spend time watching funny/happy/cute videos at the library. You could also talk to your friends, just spend a night in with friends can help.

Why do you feel excluded at your job? Parhaps you just need to find common ground outside work to talk about. If you work in a cubicle, put up stuff that makes you happy. [Pictures of loved ones, pictures that make you smile, your artwork, funny/inspiring quotes]

At this point in time, it’s not worth it. It sounds like you both have a lot of emotional problems to work through individually, and a relationship isn’t the best idea right now. I don’t know why you’re so emotionally distant with people but you might want to gaze inward and work on yourself before seeking others for love and acceptance. I say this as someone who has been there. Long story short I got hurt as a child and to protect myself I became a cynic who kept pushing people away to protect myself. I wound up falling for a close guy friend who treated me very similar to how your guy treats you. My now ex wound up cheating on me and got the girl to text me an apology, and then he tested me a breakup speech that simply twisted the knife. My point is, I know how you feel, and how hurtful it is for someone you were once ‘perfect with’ to suddenly walk away without much effort. You need to cut him out and focus on yourself.

To start I suggest you journal, meditate and/or do art. Try to vent and let everything out, after a week or so, try to work through your emotions [not just towards him, why you push people away] and slowly try to stabilize yourself. Maybe one day he too will change and things will work out, but as it stands this doesn’t sound good for either of you.

Lol, wow anonymous, a spam post about a spell caster on a non-pagan site, I’m impressed. Not to be laughed off this forum, but I’m Wiccan, don’t listen to someone claiming a spell caster can fix your life, they’re scamming you [obvious to non-believers I get it, but I’m in a few pagan communities online so I’m obliged to point this out] also, you don’t need a spell for your current situation, just some introspection.

Anyway, Moon I can relate to how you feel, you’re trying to find your place in the world [as am I] and all these other people seem so happy and confident and everything without trying. Think is that’s our perception, not fact. People could be looking at you and thinking the same thing [crazy, but it’s possible] I sadly can’t help you too much, but I feel journaling and asking/answering questions [who am I? What do I like? What is my ideal self like?] Has helped me figure stuff out.

Also, it’s not a bad thing to want a high paying job with a big house and whatnot, it’s when you define your happiness by your stuff there’s problems. If you dream of one day owning a sports car, that’s fine, telling yourself you can’t be happy or successful without it is problematic.

Sorry if I’m not as helpful as everyone else, I’m in the same boat as you [or the very next boat lol] good luck figuring everything out.