Yes it makes sense.
I give resistance and my hand goes to check the profile.
sometimes i feel bad, other, i have a feeling that ”i have to look if sth goes wrong with him”……..it’s hilarious.
i mean if sth happened and i didn’t know it. my mind plays games. nothing more.

yes it’s a fight with myself.

This moment destroys me–> when i am thinking if it’s right to check or not. When i say ”i don’t do it,no no no” then magically it happens..i go and check.
on the other hand,when i do sth for myself i don’t even think about it.but this can’t happen all the time..there are times in the day that i’m relaxing,in fact i don’t do anything and thoughts are taking place.this is the worst moment.
when i stay to watch a movie with my family or friends it’s okay,if i don’t like the movie my thoughts are taking place again.
Especially,when i feel good no thoughts at all, when i don’t feel okay (sad,bored,etc) i’m thinking all of these bad things i shouldn’t think.

sometimes when i am doing the dishes,cleaning the house and all that stuff ,my mind is so in the present moment,it’s clear…i don’t even think about the ”now”,nothing at all.
I am drawing,i’m doing a collage,i’m playing with the dog……there’s no ex at all..! :p

Yes i believe in it,you give the power to the thought to grow.Can i do it all the time? i mean ,Can i avoid the thought or should i let this pass? And how i’ll let the thing pass? …..

The fun party is that he doesn’t have power in me but i fight myself which is harder.
If i had to do with him ,i’ll get rid of him and that’s it.
But i can’t get away from myself,it’s always here.haha

When i see what he ‘does’ in his profile, i feel 1.guilty for doing it. 2.i feel sad cause he don’t love me anymore
3.im afraid of he will find another woman and i don’t know when this will take place,i’m afraid even more.This will be healing cause when i’ll see her i’ll stop visiting it.
4.i’m curious about what’s up on his life,i see how he is feeling

Yes,i want to control myself but i don’t want to feel pressure.

Fear comes when i think that something bad will happen (he’ll find a woman obviously,..oh,i’m tired of all these)
Yes removing temptations isn’t a brave action,but it’s easiest way not the right.

Although i’m doing things for myself but not many…
i go for a walk,i have people who love me and i have a lot of things to do but i don’t take care of myself so much.
for example,i want to achieve some goals since 3 years..i haven’t achieve them yet.I’m so mad with myself and I feel shit about this because these goals are so easy to achieve (daily exercise,eating healthy and study for my degree because it’s been a long time that i fought …with goals.If i’ll delay it more,maybe i wouldn’t take the degree.) I mean why i don’t try for myself?
These things would make me happy but i don’t even try for them.And this is another reason why i’m thinking of him….because i don’t do things that gives me pleasure.(for myself!!)

Thanks so much for answering,and excuse my english..please. (i guess you understood it by my grammar or syntax,i don’t know! haha)

@The Ruminant..thank you for answering.
You’re absolutely right but I don’t have so much self-discipline or self-confidence which can’t help it.
I mean that this guy doesn’t love me anymore obviously and i’m constantly thinking of him.This is unfair.

I don’t keep promises to other people when i change my mind,neither to myself.I know that no physical effort needed,but it’s hard to do it..
I’ve tried to block him, I’ve tried to not visit his profile for 2 days ….. this was for such a small time.Then i get back visiting it.
A month ago i sent him a birthday message (i hadn’t any thoughts or purposes,i just did it) and a few days since then i saw
a video he uploaded saying this ”it’s dedicated to someone i love so much that words cannot describe” (These kind of things stop me from my goal.)
I KNOW,I KNOW……it’s not for me…but everytime i see something … it sensitizes me.
I know that there’s no reason for me to do it, but maybe i don’t have enough self-esteem……
The thing is that i wasn’t happy in the relationship…..

How can I stop doing it?? Everytime i do it, i feel pressure like my own mind controls me
the bad side of me tells me to do it,the good not to.
always the bad wins!
My beliefs are that you have to try and if you can’t achieve it you must ask pressure to yourself (try harder ever if you don’t feel good doing it).and i don’t feel good with pressure i feel that i am hurting myself ,i’m punishing me (when i ask pressure not to visit it)
and when i do the opposite (just feel free and look what he does) i (again) don’t feel good with my actions,i regret it!!
I’ve fallen into my own trap.