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I’ve tried meditation, if you mean yoga poses,but i never thought if for medidate my mind.
i did it for my body and helped me very very much..i did it instead of an exercise.then i gave up.
i’m not a person who loves exercising and i have to improve that skill.
I will try all of these,cause all i want is to be happy.
happy…to live a happy life.no more worries,i can’t stand.
- This reply was modified 9 years, 6 months ago by popi.
Yes it makes sense.
I give resistance and my hand goes to check the profile.
sometimes i feel bad, other, i have a feeling that ”i have to look if sth goes wrong with him”……..it’s hilarious.
i mean if sth happened and i didn’t know it. my mind plays games. nothing more.
yes it’s a fight with myself.
This moment destroys me–> when i am thinking if it’s right to check or not. When i say ”i don’t do it,no no no” then magically it happens..i go and check.
on the other hand,when i do sth for myself i don’t even think about it.but this can’t happen all the time..there are times in the day that i’m relaxing,in fact i don’t do anything and thoughts are taking place.this is the worst moment.
when i stay to watch a movie with my family or friends it’s okay,if i don’t like the movie my thoughts are taking place again.
Especially,when i feel good no thoughts at all, when i don’t feel okay (sad,bored,etc) i’m thinking all of these bad things i shouldn’t think.
sometimes when i am doing the dishes,cleaning the house and all that stuff ,my mind is so in the present moment,it’s clear…i don’t even think about the ”now”,nothing at all.
I am drawing,i’m doing a collage,i’m playing with the dog……there’s no ex at all..! :p
Yes i believe in it,you give the power to the thought to grow.Can i do it all the time? i mean ,Can i avoid the thought or should i let this pass? And how i’ll let the thing pass? …..
Ι’ll do this even if i’m not sure for myself!!!
I know this is hard but i have to do it.
I must go on………
Yes i agree and i think facebook is so miserable and many people in our days.
i don’t want them to be in my life. not to hear news from them.
i want to be happy and calm and these people destroy my life..
anxiety ,depression..all these things i don’t have and i don’t want to have because deep inside i’m a fighter.
i don’t suffer from depression and i prefer to be alone if all people have this…I must stand by my own world if it’s necessary.
The fun party is that he doesn’t have power in me but i fight myself which is harder.
If i had to do with him ,i’ll get rid of him and that’s it.
But i can’t get away from myself,it’s always here.haha
Yes,i read somewhere that the habit lies in few days process.20-21 DAYS to get used to sth..i haven’t try it yet, it’s always on my mind and i can’t stop it.I said to myself that i will not visit it for one month but 2 days it was the time.
I’ll check the app.
This is it!
Thanks!Good luck to you ,too.
When i see what he ‘does’ in his profile, i feel 1.guilty for doing it. 2.i feel sad cause he don’t love me anymore
3.im afraid of he will find another woman and i don’t know when this will take place,i’m afraid even more.This will be healing cause when i’ll see her i’ll stop visiting it.
4.i’m curious about what’s up on his life,i see how he is feeling
Yes,i want to control myself but i don’t want to feel pressure.
Fear comes when i think that something bad will happen (he’ll find a woman obviously,..oh,i’m tired of all these)
Yes removing temptations isn’t a brave action,but it’s easiest way not the right.
Although i’m doing things for myself but not many…
i go for a walk,i have people who love me and i have a lot of things to do but i don’t take care of myself so much.
for example,i want to achieve some goals since 3 years..i haven’t achieve them yet.I’m so mad with myself and I feel shit about this because these goals are so easy to achieve (daily exercise,eating healthy and study for my degree because it’s been a long time that i fought …with goals.If i’ll delay it more,maybe i wouldn’t take the degree.) I mean why i don’t try for myself?
These things would make me happy but i don’t even try for them.And this is another reason why i’m thinking of him….because i don’t do things that gives me pleasure.(for myself!!)
Thanks so much for answering,and excuse my english..please. (i guess you understood it by my grammar or syntax,i don’t know! haha)
And what if i truly feel that it’s okay to visit his profile?….It’s not,but,thoughts,thoughts,thoughts…
When i went on vacation,i didn’t have internet connection and i was free,no worries about anything but..then i went back home..
So,it’s all about taking control of my thoughts? Can this cause me any problems? …i don’t want to be insane.
It’s better when you do sth with free mind,if i can control it i maybe lose my sanity.I don’t know if it’s right.I don’t want to feel any pressure by myself.If I have the temptation in front of me maybe i’ll obey,but if i don’t have any,it’s easier to do it.
I’ved tried to persuade myself not to do it, ………oh.
@The Ruminant..thank you for answering.
You’re absolutely right but I don’t have so much self-discipline or self-confidence which can’t help it.
I mean that this guy doesn’t love me anymore obviously and i’m constantly thinking of him.This is unfair.
I don’t keep promises to other people when i change my mind,neither to myself.I know that no physical effort needed,but it’s hard to do it..
I’ve tried to block him, I’ve tried to not visit his profile for 2 days ….. this was for such a small time.Then i get back visiting it.
A month ago i sent him a birthday message (i hadn’t any thoughts or purposes,i just did it) and a few days since then i saw
a video he uploaded saying this ”it’s dedicated to someone i love so much that words cannot describe” (These kind of things stop me from my goal.)
I KNOW,I KNOW……it’s not for me…but everytime i see something … it sensitizes me.
I know that there’s no reason for me to do it, but maybe i don’t have enough self-esteem……
The thing is that i wasn’t happy in the relationship…..
How can I stop doing it?? Everytime i do it, i feel pressure like my own mind controls me
the bad side of me tells me to do it,the good not to.
always the bad wins!
My beliefs are that you have to try and if you can’t achieve it you must ask pressure to yourself (try harder ever if you don’t feel good doing it).and i don’t feel good with pressure i feel that i am hurting myself ,i’m punishing me (when i ask pressure not to visit it)
and when i do the opposite (just feel free and look what he does) i (again) don’t feel good with my actions,i regret it!!
I’ve fallen into my own trap.August 11, 2014 at 12:57 am in reply to: Help ! trying to figure out the weird world of online dating #63041
none of these women.
they both have kids which can cause you problems if you want something more than a date.I think that is so rare, when a divorced woman with kids can create a new life with a new husband,and be happy.Although many relationships are out there with these circumstances.
But i think that the best you can do is to find a woman that doesn’t have kids,which means that she doesn’t carry the past to the present moment.A woman who can create a big start from where she is.Children may not accept the new,sometimes.
Maybe she is wounded by her ex-husband (and desperate to find a new man who can carry the weight of her problems,life,and kids) and so, her reactions can affect you. The right moment to find someone to love ,in my opinion, is when we are okay within us,and they are too.If i am with a person by need,or if i’m desperate to find someone to date or to love etc etc, it’s…wrong (always in my way of thought) because the right person we can choose is when we are happy and comfortable with ourselves,when we love ourselves and we want the best things to happen to us.
Love,or marriage,or dates,sometimes comes when we don’t expect it to come.Okay,in the age of 40’s is a little bit worrying BUT this doesn’t mean that we must compromise with the internet dates.Yes sometimes gets out something good from this,but,my experience taught me nor internet dates, neither despair led me into the right way.When you feel okay with yourself to choose a person and not by need,it’s the right moment to do the right actions.
Excuse my english.I’m learning 🙂 haha I wish you the best.
would you settle and continue to try and be there as a friend and suppress your feelings or would you leave?
If they don’t feel the same way,the don’t deserve my love.It’s very simple.
When you give you are expecting to take. 🙂August 10, 2014 at 12:02 pm in reply to: Did I sabotage my relationship? That's what my ex says. #62989
Bernadette.you have a beautiful name. Don’t worry so much.
I have passed this journey one year ago,i was in your position, i’m not okay since then but i have made big efforts to feel better.
You must care about yourself cause (unfortunately) nobody can do it for you. I think that all you need it’s self confindence and self-love. If you can reach these goals, nobody can make you feel sad. even if the worst break-up you can imagine.
i read somewhere that pain is only in the initial moment but suffer is optional…so….we must go on.
we must motivate ourselves to do things even if we don’t want to.
and i want to add sth in the subject of the relationship of mine.
he left me with a text message.not a call,not in a face to face talk.These people are cowards.
and when they use the phrase ”i didn’t want to make you sad and see you cry ” oh,okay, then you understand that weakness.
all this lies we don’t need.If we can keep ourselves far from these people,we will be probably okay.August 10, 2014 at 11:23 am in reply to: Did I sabotage my relationship? That's what my ex says. #62985
He doesn’t feel you,he doesn’t understand you. He keeps secrets, you get angry, you are apologising every time and he is cool.
this is NOT okay.it’s not fair. it’s not love, it’s compromise. Love is when two people understand each other and forgive mutually.
I feel you cause i was feeling all these in my past and only relationship.He broke up with me and every time I was the victim in the arguement, i had to apologise even if it wasn’t my fault. I was the person who always complaining about everything and I worried about everything, the relationship ,the arguements,the distance between us (500 km).
As i said before, a person who can’t see through our eyes, it doesn’t matches us.
Don’t love a person who cannot feel how you feel. (and doesn’t want to hear,and it’s always your fault.No! )August 10, 2014 at 10:13 am in reply to: Did I sabotage my relationship? That's what my ex says. #62977
hello.i’m new member here.(sorry for my english,if there are mistakes)
i think that your ex truly brings the worst out of you.I don’t think you are a bad person but this guy doesn’t deserve you.
You have to find another person to live with cause this human being gets on your nerves.
When somebody don’t understand us, and makes us angry, anxious, sad, we must get rid of him. This is the ‘difficult’ part because we have feelings we can’t hide from ourselves but we must go on.
everyone is unique and we deserve a happy life without regret,sadness.
Some things that your ex did are not so brave. He wants to hide some thoughts and things which destroys every relationship.
we have to be authentic and open-hearted with a person we love…he doesn’t do it.
so, we can’t trust a person that hides sth from us.If there is not trust,any relationship can grow.
To truly find yourself you must gain the life you desire by letting go of his beliefs.
interracting with people that makes us feel bad,unfortunately we take bad reactions from them. we influenced by them and then we running fast to find ourselves. It’s a long go.