Personally, I think one’s purpose can take a lifetime to discover. In fact, half of what I think my life’s purpose is has been to figure out what my ultimate purpose is supposed to be. I don’t think I’ve done yet what I was sent here to do. Maybe my purpose is to untilmately discover who I really am. Or maybe it’s to create something that will resonate beyond my life. I’m not sure yet. But I keep striving to figure out what it is, within the context of my world. And when the time comes, I’ll know that it’s my purpose.

I have been thinking about my response earlier today for the entire evening now, and I would like to apologize for coming across as so harsh. While I may disagree with you, I could have said that in a more friendly and supportive manner. Again,my apologies.

Like all new ideas or practices, the first thing that needs to happen is that HE wants to learn about self awareness. It’s like trying to diet- unless you really want to do it, you aren’t going to succeed. It may be a situation of leading by example. Keep focused on your own awareness and successes. Let him see there may be another way to deal with his anger and other issues. He’ll need to come to the mountain by himself, but it doesn’t mean you can’t show him what the path is like.

Is it possible? Sure. Is it likely? I don’t know. I think the fact that you feel its a chore and have little interest is your answer.

When I was first starting to go through my separation and divorce, I had an old girlfriend contact me and I was tempted to try and get back with her because I was feeling so alone. But a friend said something that really struck me- she was an EX girlfriend for a reason. Someone popping into your life after a year with no explanation and wanting to immediately get into a relationship again sounds… convenient. My best guess would be the girl he was cheating on you with (and yes- reading what happened, I do think thats the case) left him and now he’s thinking of you as his fallback option. You deserve far better than that.

As a society, we seem to be doing a great job of taking everything as a personal insult. We’ve learned to assume the worst. Instead of accepting a compliment like “you look nice today” we take it as an insult meaning “you don’t look nice on other days, and I want you to know that today you meet my standards.” One thing we can never, ever know is what the other person truly means to say. We have rely on our own interpretations. If we perceive everyone in the world is insulting us, then everythng will be an insult. I don’t know how you can fight that.

I see no reason to try and actively remove thoughts and memories. I personally believe we can work so hard at trying to live in the moment that we forget it was all those past memories that helped us get to this point. Why shove them away? Maybe your subconscious is telling you that you need to forgive those old friends or make amends to go further. Maybe they’re there to remind you what happened when you wound up in an unhealthy relationship and it’s telling you to be careful. Maybe they’re just popping in your head to remind you that you used to love baseball and should catch a game. Listen to your thoughts- there are lessons to be learned at every level if we’re willing to listen.

I’m 50 and a father to three teens and I’ll say to you what I always tell them. Do what you want, even when it means taking a risk. Because I would rather you give things a try and fail than I would you not even trying and spending the rest of your life wondering if you made a mistake.

Sometimes we spend so much time looking for everything to be dropped in our laps. You say yourself you keep seeing those signs- the New York signs- telling you to go, but you wait for a job to appear. Maybe one will and all will be great, but perhaps you are pushing again and need to see where time takes you regarding the job. Maybe you need to change your criteria for looking. Or maybe you need to start someplace else that will ultimately lead you to New York. It will happen if/when it happens. But ask yourself, if you just “go for it” what is the worst case scneario- that you have to go back home?

I’m sorry, but he is abusive and under no circumstances should you go back to him. He has shown you patterns where the abuse is a consistant issue- the cell phone, the dining room chair, and now it’s getting worse and more frequent. Find a shelter if it is possible, get a restraining order if you must. But do not get into a position where he can continue the abuse, because one of these times it will not be a cell phone or chair, it will be you that he throws and breaks. If he is serious about changing, then he needs to prove it- that would include getting into couneling, going to an anger-management program, and proving for many months that he has changed- and during NONE of that time should you be living with him.

This is just my opinion, of course. But we have all seen cases where someone who abused went back because the other person “changed” only to be injured when they find out that is not the case. Best of luck to you.