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PrashParticipant
Dear Anita,
Thank you for the encouragement to share. Being an introvert that is a very welcome step. I will do that for certain.
Life is functional and of much better quality than it was and anxiety is manageable enough once I realized that what I was trying to do earlier was to completely get rid of it. Now I am more accepting of it and focusing on what I can do.
PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you so much for your interest in my history. A major part of it I don’t recall. As and when something triggers it, only then I seem to think about. One reason for not sharing my details is my wariness of sharing information on public spaces. Another is my schedule where I always seem to wish there were 48 hours in a day 🙂 .
“the not so good days are of more utilitarian value”
This was with reference to situations in my life where I get upset about something. Recently I was subject to what I felt as major criticism in my work. My initial reaction was typically animal like – to react, justify myself and trying to put the other person in his place and trying to negate whatever was being said. Over time as I was able to calm myself I was able to look at the aspects of the criticism that were actually correct. Recognizing that, I was able to make adjustments to the way I was working and that has resulted in a good deal of satisfaction. When I look back at similar events in my life, I found that most of what I considered as not good experiences have been eventually very helpful in terms of personal improvement.
PrashParticipantDear Helga,
You can try out: 1. “Feeling good” by David Burns and 2. “Anxiety and worry workbook” by David Clark and Aaron Beck.
Consistently doing the exercises in these books definitely helps.
Take care
PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you for your response. Always grateful for them coming from an amazing person as yourself.
Some days are good, some are not. In terms of learning and progress, the not so good days are of more utilitarian value.
Take good care of yourself.
PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Just posting here to drop a hello to you.
Hope you are doing well 🙂
PrashParticipantDear Helga,
As a person dealing with anxiety myself, I can’t but help admire the courage you have shown in moving to a new country braving all the anxiety issues you would have had to face at that point in time going away from what has been familiar to you.
You had written- how many times can someone start the same journey. It may be the same journey but the start point will always be different every time you take it through. I understand that being in a foreign country immediate access to a trained therapist though ideal may not be feasible at this point in time.
Are you familiar with cognitive behavioral therapy. There are quite a lot of self help books based on it that can help with your anxiety issues.
PrashParticipantDear Feathering,
I read through your posts and your journey from the experience mentioned in your first post to the process of self discovery has been impressive. The journey inwards, where the source of a lot of pain exists is never easy. The quest is for a fulfilling relationship but something within seems to be preventing that.
It may help in viewing relationships as opportunities to learn more about ourselves as we go about our process of self discovery. I believe that life in its entire magnitude and beauty can be appreciated only by those who are strong enough to be vulnerable and expose themselves to the spectrum of emotions that is part and parcel of all relationships.
Wish you the best
PrashParticipantDear Lauren,
Glad to read about how you are feeling 🙂
I frequently wonder how people can be insensitive and inconsiderate. Part of the answer to that seems to be in the quote that you have mentioned above.
Thank you for sharing that.
PrashParticipantDear Lauren,
Sorry to read that some things are interfering with your progress and process of moving on.
Past pain tends to so easily be triggered by things related in any way to them. While this may temporarily seem an impediment to progress, over time as you keep working on it you will realize that it makes you stronger in your progress and responding better.
Good decision to unfollow.
Take care
PrashParticipantDear Olivia,
With regards to staying with a difficult emotion, I read this book based on Acceptance and Commitment therapy – Get out of your mind and into your life By Steven C Hayes. There are some useful exercises in this book that may be helpful in developing skills that help you stay with your fear.
Take care
PrashParticipantDear Olivia,
Good to read from you again.
Acceptance of self and authenticity is something that I have been chasing after for quite some time. I have struggled to understand and define what my authentic self is. Sometimes I wonder if there is something like that. Sometimes I feel it when I am immersed in something that interests me to the core.
My struggles in this area of self knowledge have been related to knowing where the possible source of beliefs are but not being able to gain much traction despite knowing the possible causation. Intellectually knowing that certain thoughts are not helpful yet feeling helpless when they seem to dominate.
The most helpful way that I have found to being true to myself is in those moments of absolute concentration in moment to moment activities in the present without the burden of thoughts.
PS: A lot of what you wrote resonated with me. Paradoxically causing some relief knowing that the struggle is common.
- This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Prash.
October 24, 2018 at 11:51 pm in reply to: I’m struggling to get over nasty things my bf said about me to another girl #233141PrashParticipantDear Emma,
What kind of resolution in this situation are you looking for? You mentioned about being upset and having doubts about the relationship that you have with him. In the 12 months since the incident how has his behavior been? You mentioned that he had written messages that contained horrible things being said about you. Has he behaved in a way that makes you think that he is still likely to do the same.
When distressing thoughts are there the tendency is to group all negative things in life along with that. It may be better if you can treat this situation in isolation and take a look solely at the relation that you have with him and where you want to go with it.
Don’t think of yourself as a common denominator to all the previous relationships. It always takes two for a relationship to be in a particular way. I am certain that you are neither nasty nor horrible.
Your child is still small and needs you to be closest to being at your best possible state of mind. Hope you are able to work yourself towards that.
Take care
PrashParticipantDear Anita,
How very kind and sweet of you to write in this manner.
With just a few messages and no direct conversations, you have determined the kind of person that I would like to become – gracious and caring. Hope to be like that consistently in all aspects of my life.
Thank you.
PrashParticipantDear Naia,
Posting here to apologize for not replying to your post. Constraints on time prevent me from posting in the way I would like to. Hope you are soon able to resolve your guilt. From your most recent post about your friend, she doesn’t seem the kind of person who you would like to maintain a friendship with. Her own issues seem to have taken a toll on her personality. Unless she demonstrates any kind of healthy change in the relationship towards you and others, it is advisable to cut ties.
Take care.
PrashParticipantDear Brady,
You wrote that what is presented to you is pointless and useless. What according to you would be useful? You also feel that the area in which you live is making you feel that way. Have you thought about what in a different area would help you look up to life? Often we imagine that something out there is better. Defining what we want is often the first step that we need to take in order to gain clarity.
Take care
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