“I finally texted him to tell him he needed to help himself before anyone else could help him.” – This NatureFairy is the truth. What you said in that exact moment was the light bulb going off inside you, you’re authentic self. You need to hold on to that and stick to it. I was in a cycle like yours for 7 years, walk away now before you keep repeating the cycle. People will change because they want to, not for someone else then it’s not genuine and from the heart. I can tell you have feelings for this guy but trust me 5 months is nothing. Let him be and stay strong, you deserve better. I know it gets lonely at times and you can’t worry about him, he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. If he has to learn the hard way so be, that’s the only way some people learn. Watching him hit rock bottom will be hard but he’s not your responsibility. Trust me walk now before you end up in a relationship that is the dance of death…

Kim, I am dealing with the same exact thoughts after a 7 year break up. I’m imagining him with a trainer from his gym and creating a whole scenario in my head about the two of them. It’s causing me anxiety, restlessness and heart ache. Why am I exerting and wasting energy on this? We do this as woman. I’ve come to realize this amongst my crazy thoughts; one, thought is scarier than the reality, two if he moves on that quickly I deserve better. Eventually a time will come where both he and you move on, but we can’t sit around and imagine it now, it’s not good for us. A friend gave me some good advice that what ever we are feeling will go through us, we are transparent. Accept how you at this exact moment, don’t fight it and trust the journey of heart ache and heart break.

“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” ~ Albert Camus

🙂 thank you

“If you are insisting on “truth” what you’re really doing is clinging to your side of things… seeing your view as True and his as False. This is not what is real. What is True is that you have views and he has views, and the coming together of those views is True, but the content of those views are both only subjectivity true. Said differently, what you’re seeing is not True, its just what you’re seeing. If what you were seeing was ultimate truth, the end all be all of deep seeing and clear comprehension, there would be no struggle, no problem, no separation between you and him…just breathing in compassion and breathing out kindness.”

Thank you Matt! This is why my last relationship failed! Our truths were different and I was always the one at fault from his truth. It’s reassuring to know I wasn’t always to blame as I began to second guess myself. I presume that happens when you have someone repeat over and over to you that you’re truth isn’t real and there’s is. Thanks for putting it into perspective for me.

Di, I hope it sheds some light on the situation for you too!

Cherry! You’re not alone. I’m ten years older than you and I still have self doubt, my neighbor who is 10 years older than me still has self doubt. It’s good that you have accomplished some things in your life already. Life is always changing and with that you will always be changing and evolving. You’re still so young and have plenty of time to accomplish small goals you set for yourself. What is it that you want to do? I do have to say along with accomplishing things you do need to work on your self worth and being kind to yourself. You could accomplish all that you want and have all the money in the world but still feel empty inside. You are in charge of your own happiness and it’s a choice you have everyday. With this being said start with small goals for yourself personally and mentally. Making daily “to do ” lists help. Examples might be making someone smile, meditating for 30 min, do the macarena, practice spanish for 10 min. Start small and keep adding the the never ending list. It’s your life and you can do what ever it is that you want with it! Best of luck, xo!

Oooo I know how you feel, but congrats to you for staying strong, 2 months is a long time! Signs are everywhere. It sounds to me you are not over him as he is still in your mind making the signs more prevalent. Have you tried meditating? As far as the phone, don’t compare yourself to other girls. I would get rid of FB as it seems like you’re vulnerable to comparing yourself to others at the present time. Maybe down the road you’ll be ready for it. Remember you are on your own journey in this life. Trust in a higher power that you are exactly where you are meant to be at the present moment. Keep working on yourself and creating a happy life for you! xo!