Forum Replies Created
October 10, 2018 at 3:20 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230117
P.S- I don’t think the gym will ever be for me. However, on the plus side, all your gym efforts will have you looking fab probably!
Im going to try yoga too.
At the end of the day though, how come we’re going through this. Surely there has to be a less painful, shorter duration way of getting through a relationship breakup?
It’s like the Broken Hearts Society!October 10, 2018 at 2:58 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230113
You’re right of course. I don’t seem to be able to accept that yet, as in, I must be clinging on to hope that I won’t have to do rubbish things in the future without him. At some point. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t bother doing anything at all.
Work was a reason for getting up in the morning but yesterday my boss, who has as much empathy as a stone, made me quite upset, which has never ever happened me in a professional capacity before. So now I feel a bit uneasy about work too.
I hope you manage to get through today, let the battle continue!
S xOctober 10, 2018 at 2:40 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230107
I have to say it has definitely kept me going the past week having you and others who can relate. It makes me feel not so alone.
I will get my nails done and hope for the best. Do you find the gym good? Apparently exercise is phenomenal in tackling depression and low mood. I’m not one for gyms as such but I try to get a walk in when I can.
One thing I can’t do is listen to music and I ALWAYS loved music, it meant so much to me. But I just can’t at the moment. I can totally relate to the ‘shock’ of what do I do with my time now.
I understand we should be able to enjoy things in life without a partner but from my perspective at the moment, doing stuff without him is just a bit rubbish. It’s not nearly as good! How bad is that!!October 10, 2018 at 2:01 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230103
I guess the only way to know how tomorrow will go is to wait and see. And trust me, I know how long 24hours can be when we feel like this!
I tend to occupy myself with cleaning, but women and multitaskers so I find I can still quite easily think about my situation while cleaning the toilet.
My sister has booked a treat for me later to get my nails done- a very thoughtful and kind gesture but the way I’m feeling at the moment, I feel like it’s a waste. I have nowhere to go and no reason to feel fab so I feel my new nails later will only remind me that I have no more evenings out or weekends away with the ex to get glammed up for. I’m aware that says a lot about me, but it is what it is.
S xOctober 10, 2018 at 12:57 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230097
Well today is the 10th so maybe wait till the 11th and see how you get on about texting.
I have a few things to do today and stayed with a friend last night, but sometimes I find it exhausting to try & fill every waking moment to avoid the fear. And then I get more anxiety at the thought of then not filling a period of time and the hole that I might plummet into as a result.
Heartbreak is painful enough, I could really do with not having the anxiety on top of it.
S xOctober 9, 2018 at 11:42 pm in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230087
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Morning folks,</p>
Im having a bad morning. I have a day off and got some sleep at times last night but woke super early again and it hits me like a bus.
At this point I can’t tell if it’s anxiety/fear or heartbreak. This is the time of the day when I wonder if I’ll make it through the day at all, if I’m even able.
Does anyone else experience anything similar?October 9, 2018 at 12:53 pm in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230035
Thanks so much for the recommendation. I will indeed try it.
SOctober 9, 2018 at 11:38 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230011
You are correct, there were times with him I did not feel wonderful. I enjoyed my time with him, but not the overhanging constant need for more from him.
Genuinely I have not felt any joy since. It’s been a struggle to try and go through the motions of every day life. Things outside the relationship which one gave me joy, don’t evoke the same happiness now.
The times I have felt not as dreadful in the past couple of weeks may be just be moments I’m not thinking about it or in denial?
Thanks for taking the time to respond.
SOctober 9, 2018 at 11:23 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #230007
Yes I have survived the past few weeks without him technically.
SOctober 9, 2018 at 9:47 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #229991
Thank you for your insight, I appreciate it.
Im wondering how does one become less afraid? I would be interested in trying to get my rational brain thinking more consistently.
SOctober 9, 2018 at 3:05 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #229905
I agree, he shouldn’t have contacted you. It’s all very unfair. But humans are humans and we don’t always behave the best way possible. I’m lucky in one sense that my ex truly was/is a gentleman and I know we won’t contact me for two reasons – one: nothing has changed and two: he doesn’t want to cause me more pain or to prolong a process.
That’s great an all, but I just want to hear from him but I know what he’s doing is for the best. Your ex is struggling too I suspect, to let go, same as we’re trying to let go. We know it’s not going to work, but tell our hearts that. Your ex is just a little less strong than you and not able to rise above as well as you to do what’s best for all.
Maybe the 11th will be a catalyst for you, everyone needs something, some target to reach that might help them make a decision or a step in a certain direction and remember, if you find Thursday tough, pop on your phone or computer to the forum. I’ll be here! xOctober 9, 2018 at 2:23 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #229899
I think that’s what they call ‘progress’….oh that sweet sweet word! My therapist says I’m so keen on either feeling better instantly or retrieving what I can’t have, I’m just not willing to sit and be. Sometimes we just have to feel the emotion which is gross and uncomfortable and shakes us to our cores.
I’m not entirely convinced I can do that as I feel, work would be off the cards then and many other things and at least I have been able to function, in body, if not in spirit.
I know I haven’t accepted what has happened. I just know it. But apparently that’s normal. A friend told me this morning that time and distant cause you to accept it, without your knowledge in a way. It’s a subconscious thing. Every day that passes without contact, you start to sort of forget what it was like talking to them or doing things with them. It becomes a little fuzzier, not so high definition as it might be at the moment.
I hope you get through the 11th ok, my birthday and what would have been our anniversary are coming up in the next few months and I imagine it will be acute torture. But nobody who experiences heartbreak gets out of it unscathed. But forums like this demonstrate that there are millions who suffer like us and millions don’t die of a broken heart every day, so people must be getting through it.Somehow. Even if we don’t know how just yet.
It’s a great comfort having this forum to post on.
S xOctober 9, 2018 at 1:37 am in reply to: I know I have to let go, but I struggling with it, it is out of anger #229887
Tom, how are you getting on? You seem to have the right attitude but are still struggling, do you feel you are getting through it?
Yahosda, it all sounds quite complicated and unclear. Perhaps at this stage it might be best to try and take some time for you to figure things out, with no interference from him. To just be.October 9, 2018 at 1:06 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #229885
Do you realise how well you are doing? I don’t think I’d have the resolve to manage that. Well done. That in itself is progress.
It’s not easy, but you’re getting there, bit by bit, inch by inch.
S xOctober 9, 2018 at 12:41 am in reply to: Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up #229881
Also, I read this article and found it useful. Understanding it a big thing for me.