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Big blue

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Viewing 15 posts - 76 through 90 (of 278 total)
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  • August 3, 2014 at 1:12 pm in reply to: Realistic age gap? #62522
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Inky,

    Congratulations on 20+ years and your outlook! You sound very happy. What issues were due to your age difference?

    I recently talked with a really nice woman who after a few talks I asked and she is 17 years younger. Idk…

    Lol I was going to say baby face for me, too. That said, I can have a playoff beard in 2-4 weeks. 🙂

    Big blue

    August 3, 2014 at 12:49 pm in reply to: Realistic age gap? #62514
    Big blue
    Participant

    I see what I wrote is confusing…. I’m thinking more than 7 could be easier after kids are born, raised and grow up. Example: 50 and. 60. I’m in my 50s like your brother’s age. Half way to a hundred! 🙂

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    August 3, 2014 at 11:35 am in reply to: Realistic age gap? #62490
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi The Ruminant,

    Yes 7 years would make things easier. Except maybe when you’re both past child rearing years. Do you agree?

    I look younger than I am – a factor for me.

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    August 2, 2014 at 1:09 pm in reply to: Tiny Buddha Name Game! :) #62456
    Big blue
    Participant

    Ok all here is a different twist:

    Ladies…
    I = I see with humor and insight into people
    J = Justice for all is what we need
    R = Realistically speaking this it how it is
    A = Attitude for change in life
    Matt..
    M = Mirth with balance right down the middle if you please

    You are all awesome, as is everyone else on TB!

    Big blue

    August 1, 2014 at 5:55 pm in reply to: I couldn't help her… #62429
    Big blue
    Participant

    … Ok I’m back. My battery died. 🙂

    What comes next depends.

    Q: do you feel bad about your past?
    Q: do you feel humble?
    Q: do you feel shame?
    Q: do you fear what else they may be thinking about you?
    If you are saying yes to any of these questions, and thinking of your friend, you might be feeling some empathy for her. We are all flawed. Sometimes we have trouble handling this.
    If you said no to all of those questions, and you are not seeing something new, consider something more brave: repeat the process with her.

    What do you think and feel now?

    August 1, 2014 at 5:13 pm in reply to: I couldn't help her… #62427
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Lurker,

    I see you are in a pickle – as some would say. Here are just a couple thoughts I have to share.

    First, make a list of all your possible faults. One? Two? Ten? No worries there is no minimum and there is no maximum. Then, ask some family, or some close friends, if you could review it with them. Get their input. Ask whether they agree with your list. Ask them if you missed anything. Smile when you ask that one to show you want honest input. Take notes. Then take a couple days to let it simmer. Like a sauerbraten pot of thoughts and feelings. Then, take your list and your pen back and ask them to really really write down your possible faults. Add your own as they occur to you.

    What do you think comes next?

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    August 1, 2014 at 3:35 pm in reply to: What's best to do when we seek attention… #62424
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Anyone,

    So you had to break up, and you don’t want to get back together, but you keep thinking about her.

    You were subconsciously torn about your decision. Somewhere in you she is good; after all you were together, right?

    You may miss her – even for drama as Inky asks. If you are like me, you might recall her scent, her hugs, quiet times, fun times out and about. If I were in love I would see her eyes, her smile. It’s in your nature as a person to feel and see these memories of love and connection. We are meant to connect. It’s in our blood to be together. So, as you heard from Inky above, you asked for this space, and you will have these thoughts. What to do with these thoughts? Alpal offers good ideas.

    What to do? My take on this having been there: It takes forgiveness, gratitude, time and other connections to lessen thoughts of her.

    Say to yourself, “We are both good people who tried but could not stay together. I forgive myself. I forgive her.”

    “I am grateful for her being in my life, but things did not work.”

    Be patient during this time.

    Open your mind and your heart to new experiences, people and places.

    Good luck on your exam!

    Big blue

    August 1, 2014 at 11:17 am in reply to: Tiny Buddha Name Game! :) #62406
    Big blue
    Participant

    The Mod Squad lol.
    Good that the weekend is here if I’m going to write up my impressions of your expressions.

    ) 🙂 (

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    July 31, 2014 at 8:00 pm in reply to: can someone hurt a person he claims to love..!! #62368
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Purpose,

    I have some experience in this situation. A woman was overly caring and helpful to me, but said she was not up for a relationship. This was really frustrating.

    You were overly caring and helpful to this guy. He got interested in you. Saying no follow this boundary at that point could feel like a mixed message to him. It could be frustrating or worse as happened. I’m not justifying or agreeing with what he did, but it’s not a surprise.

    Matt and Jasmine offer solid advice and questions. Again looking at my shoes, I can be a fixer ala codependent sometimes. In this situation I am really helping myself a lot while also helping someone else. What is my core motive?

    Big blue

    PS: We certainly are complex creatures….

    July 31, 2014 at 7:22 pm in reply to: Work Love #62366
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Vanessa,

    Everything above makes sense to me.

    Big blue

    July 31, 2014 at 7:10 pm in reply to: Why is it so hard to let go when we know it's the right thing to do? #62363
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi B,

    I understand exactly what you’re describing. I have also been thinking about attachment. I learned that there are types of attachment. Not going to over snalyze it, but there may be something to people like us at times being avoidant, or needy, etc. and then what if our partner is one of these? Idk.

    Anyway you are definitely worthy of being treated well and loved!

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    July 31, 2014 at 1:53 am in reply to: Tiny Buddha Name Game! :) #62297
    Big blue
    Participant

    …. Oh dang Another beer rolled off the roof of my truck!
    Edit for smiley face 🙂

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.
    July 31, 2014 at 12:07 am in reply to: Tiny Buddha Name Game! :) #62292
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Jasmine,

    I was pretending to stare into the distance. 🙂

    Oh that smooch ha ahaaaa. 🙂

    Big blue

    July 30, 2014 at 7:31 pm in reply to: Chronic tiredness #62265
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Abraham,

    I hope you are feeling better. Yes at one point I felt days of crushing fatigue as Mary describes. I spent about four days mostly in bed. Mostly sleeping. I looked into adrenal fatigue. I did not have a way to improve this except rest. I did remove some stressors. At the time, I was quite down but not diagnosed as depressed. I had relationship, job and me issues. Am doing very, very well lately.

    Big blue

    July 30, 2014 at 7:03 pm in reply to: Tiny Buddha Name Game! :) #62264
    Big blue
    Participant

    Sorry what was that you said …?

    🙂

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