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Tannhauser

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  • January 21, 2017 at 6:59 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #125852
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Oh f*ck, you’ve completely lost me with that Hitler statement. There are many words to describe World War 2. Hilarious isn’t one of them.

    You want to know my f*cking truth is? My truth is that I wish this sh*t never happened to me. All I ever wanted to be is normal. I get these energies coming in to me, and sometimes they make me feel strange and want to cry like a baby. I am a really sad, pathetic loser. Through my infertility I considered myself half a man. But I am not even that any more. I am just an empty shell being controlled by some ‘higher force’, be it god or aliens.

    Just when I think you understand me you go off on a tangent that leaves me feeling isolated all over again.

    Tannhauser

    January 21, 2017 at 4:11 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #125845
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Thanks.

    I’ve had another experience this morning. One of those incredible ‘coincidences’. I have been agonizing over whether or not to believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that the Torah is the word of God revealed to Moses through inspiration, but I was becoming increasingly unsure about Jesus and was feeling more sympathetic towards Jewish beliefs. I do a lot of ruminating/meditating these days, and sometimes I write my thoughts down. Anyway, I had basically wrote that I believed Moses and the Torah but that I considered Jesus to be a made-up character. Out of sheer curiosity, I opened the Bible at random and it opened at John 5. My eyes alighted on verse 39 and I started reading. I felt deep inside me that it was a direct answer to what I had written, especially at verse 46 where Jesus says “If you believed Moses, you would believe me, for he wrote of me”.

    I consider myself told off.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    January 20, 2017 at 7:28 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #125784
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    I have invisible hands touching me all the time. I have just had to get used to it. I foolishly told my mother and father about it some years ago and they reacted VERY badly indeed. It made my mother ill and my dad very angry. Told a priest about it too, and he sort of accepted the idea at first, but the second time I mentioned it he just dismissed me. He didn’t want to know. I keep quiet about it now.

    I have had some strange experiences with the invisible people over the past three years, I can tell you. I woke up one morning to find myself in some weird Arthurian-style death scene. I was on my back (I NEVER sleep on my back!) and could feel one of the invisible people cradling me from behind; my legs were straight out in front of me and as light as a feather, and I felt a strange sensation around my throat area. My right arm was around me as if trying to grab at or reach out to the ‘being’ cradling me, and I strongly felt that I was drawing my last breaths. But the whole scenario was peaceful and not at all frightening. Can you explain what this could have been about?

    And then there’s God Himself, who has, it seems, a very dry sense of humour. But that’s another matter entirely.

    I really appreciate corresponding with you, eight. You are on my wavelength. You help to normalise these experiences and I feel a little less isolated as a result.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    January 20, 2017 at 5:27 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #125772
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Eight, perhaps you could help me with this.

    I am getting energies coming in through my head and going out through my left foot. This happens mainly at night but can happen during the day too. Strange as it may seem, at night I know the energies are coming because they cause interference with electrics, even when they are switched off. My breastbone feels quite sore, and I am losing my appetite. Had terrible stomach pains last Tuesday evening and again yesterday, coupled with a soreness at the centre of the forehead (hairline) which makes one feel spaced out. The stomach pains seem to coincide with a full moon. The last time I had such excruciating stomach pains was a day or two after the September full moon last year. They are really painful.

    Been getting occasional weird Biblical ‘pointers’ popping into my head. Only, I don’t hear them in my mind, I ‘see’ them. (Please note, I don’t really read the Bible on a regular basis). The last one was ‘you are not your own’ and it was lit up in my mind like a neon sign. This is frightening to me, because I worry I am going to lose my individuality, personality and character and be swallowed up by whatever is causing this. I worry my world will fall apart and I will start seeing things from the perspective of being on the outside looking in.

    What is all this about? You keep talking about Ascension. Ascend to where? As I see it, the world is getting on with things as normal and doing the things it has always done, while its me who is getting inconvenienced. It’s me who is feeling a bit strange and spaced out.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Tannhauser.
    November 23, 2016 at 4:52 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #120981
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    By the way, I just tried this:

    56 51 521

    and something rushed through my body to my head. I only said it once, but it was like a spasm or orgasm going through me.

    You sure you’re not a witch?

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    November 23, 2016 at 4:48 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #120980
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    I will try the codes.

    Any advice you can give to help me stay in a high vibrational state would be most appreciated. I realized today that I can pull myself out of a low vibrational/depressive state if I want. It just requires a bit of effort.

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by Tannhauser.
    November 22, 2016 at 7:06 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #120926
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Thanks for all you help.

    Once Christmas is over I am going to kill myself. I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone else and I think death would be the best option for me, I really do. I don’t know what’s happened to me and all you can do is give me numbers and codes. I hate this and I really want to die. I can’t think about the feelings of others, I have to think about me for a change. I can’t live in these conditions.

    Tannhauser

    November 22, 2016 at 4:59 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #120905
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    I appreciate your help, I really do.

    Unfortunately I have hypopituitarism, (damaged anterior gland and probable olfactory bulb damage), low growth hormone levels and very low testosterone levels. So I fail to see how these codes can work where all medical intervention has failed.

    But I wish for you to answer a question I put to you. I am/was a Christian, yet all my spiritual experiences have pointed to Pagan gods. My first experience took place inside a Catholic church, and I am now wondering if all the accusations levelled at Catholicism are true; namely, that it is a Pagan religion. I wonder if, rather than worshipping Jesus on a Sunday, we are actually worshipping Bacchus/Dionysus. All my experiences pointed to Roman gods. It started with Bacchus, progressed to Neptune and Vesta, and the last one was quite incredible. I was out in the garden during the summer and I fell half-asleep on the swing. I dreamt of a white archway and then the prow of a ship in a harbour. I later discovered that evening that the day in question was the Roman festival of Portunus, god of gateways and harbours.

    What does all this mean? Why is it happening to me?

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by Tannhauser.
    November 21, 2016 at 7:44 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #120810
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    But I don’t believe in God anymore. You might feel Him/Her/It, I don’t. My entire belief system has collapsed. I am empty inside. I feel nothing, except for occasional feelings of deep sadness which well up inside me. I don’t mind these feelings of sadness, for at least I am feeling something when they happen. Perhaps a lot of it has to do with my medical condition (I have hypopituitarism). When I think of God, I only view Him/Her/It as a punishing figure who has sought to punish my past-life misdeeds by blighting me with chronic illness and infertility.

    I don’t think I am going to make it very far into 2017. I can’t live like this.

    Tannhauser

    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by Tannhauser.
    November 20, 2016 at 2:44 pm in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #120794
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Then my life is over. I might as well end it now. But you know me too well, and it troubles me. I don’t feel a connection to God anymore, certainly not the Christian God. I am repulsed by the Bible. If I can’t find happiness in human relationships, or substance abuse, then I can’t find it in God either. Is this how it’s supposed to be? I can’t go within myself, there is nothing but emptiness inside me.

    Tannhauser

    November 20, 2016 at 11:21 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #120787
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Today I have realised that I was never really a Christian. I am not a true Christian. This is because I no longer feel connected to the hateful Christian God, who really detests everything He has made. Who is cruel and vindictive. Who made homosexuality possible but who hates gays. Whose followers label themselves Christian yet so often use extremely ugly language when they come across opinions that differ from theirs, and who use Bible passages like weapons to back up their ugly language.

    What do I do now? I have had a spiritual experience and all my old beliefs have vanished. I can’t pray anymore and I am completely lost.

    Tannhauser.

    November 14, 2016 at 5:59 am in reply to: Disappointed #120347
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Peter, you’ve got to get into Gnosticism. It will satisfactorily answer all of your questions.

    The New Age people are laboring under the impression that this world is about to change for the better. It is not, and I will tell you why. The power of the human Ego is far too great and it is pretty much impossible to defeat. Those having a ‘spiritual awakening’ have quickly realized that discretion is the better part of valour; they soon realise that it’s better to stay quiet about one’s experiences than risk being labelled insane and cause distress to one’s family. One also sees that those you hope will be sympathetic and offer help, (namely, the spiritual and religious figures such as priests) are as fast asleep as everyone else. My parish priest didn’t want to talk to me about my spiritual experiences and it killed my Christian faith. The reason that this ‘change’ isn’t going to happen is that people having a ‘spiritual awakening’ are often scared, confused and question their own sanity. Many are also contemplating suicide because they can’t handle the weird changes going on inside themselves. That is the REALITY, not the psycho-babble of the previous poster.

    This isn’t a super hero film, like X-Men. No-one is going to go on TV to tell us all to come out of the shadows.

    I can pretty much guarantee that Gnosticism will answer your questions regarding the ways of this world. Also, you should search out some internet dialogue with a person called Hidden Hand that took place in 2010. There are powerful people behind the scenes who wish to push this world into a negative polarity, and, truth be told, they are doing a great job of it. According to Hidden Hand, there is a coming ‘Great Harvest’. But don’t expect Yahweh to intervene, because the ‘soul group’ known as Lucifer did a deal with him to help humanity advance, and they want to get the hell off of earth. (Yes, Yahweh exists, he created the world, and he’s got a fierce temper, but he’s not the only god out there). I always thought that HH (commonly and incorrectly called ‘Illuminati’) was a load of made-up nonsense, until I started seeing them drop subtle hints about a ‘New Earth’ amid TV advertising (Christian D’or, in particular). When I put the pieces of the puzzle together, I realized that Hidden Hand was a real, worldwide cabal, and not some amateurish Dan Brown outfit. Of course, I would be thoroughly ridiculed if I said all this in mixed company, which is why the world is NOT GOING TO CHANGE!!!

    Best wishes,
    Tannhauser

    November 9, 2016 at 3:04 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #119975
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Thank you H8.

    It is strange, but reciting those numbers had a positive effect on me (are you a wizard?). Sometimes, if I sit bolt upright I feel energies or vibrations coming into me and I start to oscillate slightly.

    Your talk of angels reminds me of something that happened in the summer. One Friday evening I was reading about angels and how they communicate with people. Apparently they leave coins or feathers. (I must admit, I was somewhat skeptical about the stories I read). Anyway, the next morning I went down to my garden pond to remove the nets covering it (they protect the fish from herons). I noticed that a two-pence coin had been placed on each net. For a long time I truly believed that angels had communicated with me, and I kept the coins. Until the fateful day a few weeks later when I told my mother about it. She immediately concluded that the kids from next door had thrown the coins over, and what’s more, she said that if it happened again it would be proof that the kids did it. I was brutally crushed, and because I am now more sensitive than ever I went to my room and wept. In my ‘grief’ and upset, I stupidly gave her the coins because I felt I had deluded myself.

    But the kids didn’t throw any more coins over the fence, and nor have they ever done so in all the years they have lived there.

    I now believe that the coins materialized out of thin air from another dimension. It has happened before. With a van! The van bore an unusual company name which does not even exist here in Britain. It was just parked up in the street, but I sensed there was something unusual about it.

    Thanks for your help. You are on my wavelength and you understand what I am going through. There is no-one I can turn to, and the biggest let down of them all was my parish priest. I went to him for help on two occasions, and on the last one he completely brushed me aside, he didn’t want to know. This episode was singularly the most devastating blow to my Catholicism. I can see that much of it is play-acting and lip-service, and I am now looking to leave with the minimum of fuss.

    Once again, many thanks.
    Tannhauser

    November 8, 2016 at 10:59 am in reply to: My Kundalini Horror #119936
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    My belief system has completely collapsed.

    I am suffering dreadfully inside. I feel very empty. I want to get help but I don’t want to admit I am an incredibly weak person. I need to be strong for my mother because my father is ill and suffers with depression. On the other hand, I have a very strong desire to kill myself but worry it will go wrong and result in a prolonged death. I am in a terrible place, and the only way I can gain some relief is taking painkillers.

    This has all been caused by Kundalini/Spiritual Awakening. Don’t let ANYONE tell you that these are good things. They are NOT.

    Tannhauser

    October 30, 2016 at 9:14 am in reply to: Do you believe in God? #119189
    Tannhauser
    Blocked

    Thanks for your input,

    As I said earlier, I don’t believe God ever loved me. It seems to me that He/It actively punished me with chronic illnesses all through my life. He/It also cursed me with infertility, hypopituitarism and an inability to feel love. As stated in the Fisher King story, such a malaise is a fate worse than death. And now that all these illnesses crowd in upon me and grow ever stronger, as I begin to experience the bitter regrets of all the things I have missed out on in life, I realise that God only really existed in my mind. I realise that the God I had created in my mind is not going to help. It was all a lie they told us.

    “And I believed in father christmas
    And I looked at the sky with excited eyes
    ’till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
    And I saw him and through his disguise”

    I have nothing but hate in my heart for this ‘God’ you speak of. It’s the worst type of promise, a false one.

    Tannhauser.

    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by Tannhauser.
    • This reply was modified 8 years ago by Tannhauser.
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